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Condoms reduce risk. Not eliminate it. If you want no chance of having a child, don't have sex, or get a vasectomy.
She has to make a claim against you as the father unless you pay her without question. If you question paternity, she must prove it.
Condoms reduce risk. Not eliminate it. If you want no chance of having a child, don't have sex, or get a vasectomy.
Maybe subtle isn't needed. Just tell her that if your name is to appear on the birth certificate, you will require a paternity test first. If she gets upset at you, point out the two of you don't really know each other will enough to be 100% certain she didn't have sex with someone else.
Don't let your name get placed there if you aren't the father. That could pose legal problems. Don't know about your state, but it does in some.
Yea but that's the point, should I have to be abstinence or get a vesectomy to have sex if I'm not ready to be a father? She wasn't ready to be a mother either I'm guessing, why didn't she get her tubes tied? We are both equally responsible, therefore, we should both get an equal right in deciding if the child will be aborted, put up for adoption, etc.
I live in Illinois, no idea what the law is here.
most likely the kid isn't yours..get a paternity test before you do anything. and if it is yours, you'll have to help her with the kid as much as possible AND go to school. welcome to adult life, sometimes it sucks
I think this is bull , but because I'm sure there are people reading this who could use accurate information . . .
Condoms are not 100%. In fact, the method itself (if used perfectly) is only about 97% accurate (in preventing conception). The user rate is much lower - around 80%. Meaning that the average user has a 20% chance of conception while using condoms because of botching the use of it in a way that can reduce efficacy. This could include using inappropriately sized condoms, putting on or taking off condoms incorrectly, condom breakage, leaking, using non-condom-friendly lubricants, using expired condoms, etc.
Hormonal birth control, when used correctly (and when dosed correctly) is 99% effective in preventing conception. But there are a variety of ways in which the efficacy can be lowered - not taking it at the same time everyday, having the wrong dosage, etc. And some women simply don't respond well to it. eta - Hormonal birth control works primarily by preventing ovulation by an artificial regulation of the hormones involved in the menstrual cycle (no egg, nothing to fertilize). Secondarily, it can prevent ovulation by thickening cervical fluid (making it harder for sperm to travel into/through the cervix and making it less nourishing for sperm, so they die more quickly), and by preventing a thickening of the uterine lining - the lining has to be a minimum thickness for implantation to occur and an embryo to 'stick.'
Together, the risks of pregnancy are pretty low, particularly when you factor in the short amount of time in the menstrual cycle during which pregnancy can be achieved. Nevertheless, anytime intercourse takes place, there is a chance of pregnancy.
And no, you should be willing to accept that if you are willing to have sex.
Last edited by easjer; 11-03-2010 at 10:11 PM.
eh...how long can condoms stay "valid" or w/e? I've had this one saved up for a few years...
Continuing on -
The earliest time an abortion is available is generally 6 weeks from the last menstrual period, or 4 weeks gestation. That is the point that a pregnancy is easily detectable on ultrasound (it can be before, but it's harder), and that is important for performing a safe d&c. They want to be certain the pregnancy is located in the uterus and is not ectopic (requiring different treatment), and be certain they remove all the products of conception during the procedure.
It is easiest (in terms of law and the health of the woman) to get an abortion in the first trimester - ie, before 12-14 pregnant (10-12 weeks gestation). An abortion clinic abides by HIPPA regulations and will be very discreet. It's worth noting that insurance often does not cover the cost of the procedure (being considered elective), and so payment can be an issue.
The father has no legal say in the disposition of the pregnancy (to be continued or not) because it is a physical part of the mother, and has significant impact on multiple facets of their lives - health, well-being, future fertility, work, etc.
A fetal paternity test is not the norm, and could not be done until much later in the pregnancy with any safety, because of the necessity of piercing the amniotic sac to draw out cells. If an amniocentesis is done, paternity may be available, but that is not a procedure often done electively (usually it's done in cases where genetics are a concern).
I believe (without Google) that the shelf-life is usually 2 years, but they do come with expiration dates printed on them. Condoms are more prone to breaking after their expiry.
How would the condom break? Would it break like...very visibly? Or would it break, as in a small hole at the top or something?
Finally - as to what you or she or anyone in this situation should do:
Consider talking to a counselor. Particularly when confused. There are a number of factors to be considered and there are a number of options, including adoption (additionally, adoptive couples may pay for some of her expenses or medical costs).
A counselor will be able to help you/her explore a lot of options and feelings surrounding them and really help to ensure that the best decision is made for everyone. If she's newly pregnant (sounds like about 5 weeks), then there is time to think things through.
Usually it's noticeable when a condom breaks. But condoms can have microscopic holes or fractures that wouldn't be noticeable (that's why they have less than a 100% method success rate), and as they say, it only takes 1 sperm to fertilize an ovum. That's how the joke about poking a needle through the condom works . . .
The liklihood of microscopic holes or fractures is increased by age and can be increased by inappropriate handling (like, carrying around in a wallet, where it could be folded, etc).
Learn the law in this regard, maybe talk to a public family planning agency yourself to get the facts. If you both are not ready, I would suggest adoption. their are plenty of families who want to adopt a baby that cannot have their own children. All these children are wanted, and most live a better life than you can probably provide.
As for thinking you actually had safe sex? Is that what you were taught in school?
Oh, a final word on paternity testing and child support.
If you created the child, you are legally responsible for it. How much support they receive from you depends on a variety of factors, often determined by the court, and changing based on what you make, the age of the child, the amount of support or visitation. Whether or not you want to be a father is secondary to the fact of being a father. If she chooses to have the child, then you need to help support it. The wealth of her parents is not relevant, as they are not responsible for the support of her/your child.
In some states, there may be an option to sever parental rights, which may end child support. But that's the sort of thing that should be considered long and hard. And depends, as I said, on the states involved.
That is not an option in my state. To add, some states will deem you the legal father even if you are not, if you are on the birth certificate, or otherwise ever treat the child as yours.
Find out your state laws and paternity. As soon as practical.
It's a super concentrated dose of estrogen, designed to disrupt the menstrual cycle and delay/prevent ovulation if it has not already occurred.
It has to be taken within a certain timeframe to be effective.
More information on Plan B (the most well known/name brand version of the morning after pill) can be found http://www.planbonestep.com/plan-b-faq.aspx.
Apart from this being the biggest indicator this was bull , I can't leave it alone, in case some poor clueless reads this and thinks it's true.
Gametes (sex cells) only carry 23 chromosomes, or half a pair. Each parent contributes exactly 50% of the DNA to the child, one half of each pair of chromosomes. While it is true that the woman always contributes an X chromosome for the sex determination, and the man's is a toss up between X and Y, and is therefore ultimately 100% responsible for the sex determination, it is not true that a boy gets 100% of your DNA.
That would make a son your clone. Which . . . isn't how it works. I'd recommend that you take Biology at some point. And pay attention.
I am in Bio 101, and the way I understood it, ONLY the man can donate the Y chromosome. Therefore, it would have to be my DNA that goes to the son for SURE (Y) chromosome, and 50% chance of my X going to him too right?
If boys received 100% of their fathers DNA, then they would look 100% like their father, end effectively be a clone, or like an identical twin.
Mitochondrial DNA is a marker carried on that comes from the mother. That's how they were able to trace "Eve." I read something about a marker carried on by males lines, but I forget what it was. However, your assessment is wrong about 100%. No where close.
As I said, the sex is determined by whichever half of the chromosomal pair the sperm is carrying, X or Y. So yes, the male ultimately determines the sex, as the woman always contributes an X chromosome.
But that is merely the sex determination, not 100% of the DNA make-up of the child.
Again, each gamete contains one half of the chromosomal pairs. When the sperm fertilizes the egg, the chromosomes form the complete set of 46 and the cell is completed and begins replicating.
There are roughly 50% odds of the sperm that fertilizes the egg carrying an X chromosome or a Y chromosome (depending on a variety of factors, but in general, 50% is good enough). Your son will never receive an X chromosome from you, only the Y chromosome (which determines his sex as male). Your daughter will receive and X from you and an X from her mother (determining her sex as female).
Honest to God, I learned this back in middle school. You're in college and haven't got it straight yet?
Right. Troll. Right. SMH, to quote DeJuan Blair.
The schools have takem a serious dive over the years since the Department of Education was created. A high school degree today is probably equal to a 7th grade education in the 70's.
While I don't disagree, I do feel the need to point out that I'm not that old at 30. . .
So you graduated about '98. Your education level was probably comparable to a 9th or 10th grade level of the 70's.While I don't disagree, I do feel the need to point out that I'm not that old at 30. . .
Keep in mind, I'm not blaming anyone in the system. I'm blaming the system. Why do you think there is such a push for private schooling, home schooling, and charter schools like never before?
If it worked that way, how do Punnet Squares work in figuring out what traits a child will have? Since it can be a mixture of a trait that neither parent has...
They DO have the trait, but that doesn't necessarily mean they display the trait. That's where recessive and dominant genes come in.
Two brown eyed people can produce blue eyed children, if they both carry the recessive gene for blue eyes. Meaning that when they were conceived, the dna they received from one parent was for blue eyes, and the dna received from the other was brown eyes. Because brown is a dominant gene, they display brown eyes. But they carry the gene for blue eyes as well. When the dna is split in the gametes, the sperm/egg cell will only take one of those genes - brown or blue. If it takes the blue one and the other gamete contains a recessive blue gene, then the child displays blue eyes, despite both parents displaying brown eyes.
That's how.
That is, of course, a simplification of the concept. In reality, genes can be of a dominance spectrum. If there is no strict dominant or purely recessive match, things like eye color or hair color are often a blending of the shades that parents display.
The point, though, remains. The biological parents do carry the traits, which may be passed on to their children regardless of whether or not they display the traits.
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