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Get over it already. Jesus.
Fin, you're overthinking it a bit. Just try to relax a little and don't push anything. Dating or not, go on about your otherwise normal life and some spark will ignite when you meet a good one.
Get over it already. Jesus.
Findog- Dude, You seriously need to move on…This was a girlfriend, not your wife of 15 years who you had three children with & then she dumped you for a surfer…Do you understand how better off you are having this happened now instead of after you were married?
My advice is to hang out with some of these manly men in SA to get your self esteem back…Call Cosmic Cowboy & ask if you can help castrate some of his cows, go shoot a deer, ride a horse, drink a few beers, learn to make awesome chili…Heck, go volunteer your time helping out at a home for the aged….
Life is too short to continually be upset about what might have been….
It's clear to me that the chick has met somebody else. You were engaged, not married. I see no problem with anything she has done. happens.
In fact I don't see anything that conclusively shows you were engaged either. The fact that she told her parents that she wanted to marry you doesn't mean you're engaged. Did you give her a ring? Did she give it back? Sounds to me like you fell head over heal and then got dumped. Bummer deal, but that's life.
That's not really what this thread is about. The horse is already out past the barn door. It's more about moving forward and how/when I should tiptoe back into the dating scene.
Sorry. I suggest not falling head over heels for the next chick you date for a couple of months.
First response, before even reading the OP...
Do you really expect to find ethics here?
I'm not going to go into the details of my breakup 15 years ago, but it was a long time before I could start a relationship without sabotaging it myself. Kind of a self defense mechanism I would unconsciously do, so I couldn't get hurt again. It wasn't till recently I realize I was doing it. Is it possible, that's what she is doing as well? As for the ethics, like CF says, just stay honest. There are some who are on the rebound themselves, and may appreciate someone in the same place.
I guess when you're a relatively normal, well-adjusted person in a relationship that appears to be healthy, functional, and you have somebody that loves you, it's impossible not to be happy, right? I guess what happens sometimes is that this person is such a source of joy in your life that other things fade to the background and you devote much of your mental energy and time into putting in your due diligence so the relationship thrives ands grows. And it's taken from you without warning and no way to emotionally prepare for it. This is grief and I have to work through it. I am committed to making the most of it and trying to learn from it. I think the best piece of advice I have received is to assign the blame for the demise of the relationship to her, but embark on learning and growth as if it's my fault.
+10000
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