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Don't fret, man-- it's much easier dating in your 30's. Not to mention dating women you're attracted to AND whose company you enjoy.
Just live your life and follow your interests... things take care of themselves.
I will turn 33 next week. I just got out of a relationship with a woman that I thought I was going to marry. I do not believe that there is any chance of this relationship ever being rekindled in the future. So, with that said, I am understandably scared and fearful of what the future has in store for me. I know it's normal to think I'll never love again and or have this in my life again, but those are transient fears.
I know that I need to maintain a positive at ude and put myself into positions where I am likely to meet like-minded individuals. So here is what I have so far:
- online dating
- singles ministry through a church
- volunteer opportunities
- continuing education classes
I want what I thought I had - a connection and chemistry with somebody who had similar values and goals in life that was leading towards a long-term commitment. It's been three months and change since she broke things off, and although I've made a lot of progress, I still have a ways to go to heal my heart. I'm sure I'll feel a lot better in another 3-4 months. I don't think women in their twenties are generally mature enough or looking to settle down. I think looking for romance in the workplace is a big no-no: I can't imagine having to see my ex everyday after the way things ended.
I've been told that women in their thirties are usually more grounded and mature because they have life experience and are no longer motivated by superficial criteria like who has the best head of hair, the best muscle car, etc, but who would make a good long-term companion. I know I was a great boyfriend to my ex and she would be the first person to agree. I know I have a lot to offer somebody else. So how should I go about finding somebody? Most of my closest friends are married with children. My one good single friend that I could go out and do stuff with on the weekends is still very big into the bar scene and playing video games when he's not going out, which I find boring.
I've also been told that in your twenties, women have the advantage because they are still finding themselves, they are not having to worry about the biological clock ticking, they can afford to be picky and go with more superficial criteria. But when they get into their thirties, things change. They have to start looking at who makes better husband/father potential, provided that they do want to get married and start a family. I've also read that when people date in their thirties, they have more experience, they know what they do and don't want in a relationship, and they are likely to either end things quickly when they don't see a future, or pass through the relationship stages quicker and into a firm commitment for engagement/marriage because that is what they want. Thoughts?
I've thought about going back to school for a master's. Perhaps I could find a like-minded individual there?
Don't fret, man-- it's much easier dating in your 30's. Not to mention dating women you're attracted to AND whose company you enjoy.
Just live your life and follow your interests... things take care of themselves.
Just let settle where it may. Love isn't planned.
You can also take up some hobbies that involve a mul ude of people, ex. hiking, scuba diving, etc. These activites do not necessitate you bring someone with you. Going through the same thing right now myself, although I'am not quite 30 yet. Thank God for school. I'am not even looking for another gf right now after having a long term go South, we had a bunch of mutual friends and when I hang out with them, it seems akward. Just looking to make new friends that don't have a connection with my ex, what ever happens happens after that.
fall in love with a stripper
If you don't need someone then you'll be ok. I think you're over analyzing it a bit.
Last edited by Viva Las Espuelas; 01-28-2011 at 03:26 PM.
Advanced college degrees would seem to be a good route. Also mentioned was some kind of hobby.
Of course, you then have to worry about being in the same classes with an ex if things don't go well. Not quite like working with them, though.
Best thing to do is get out and meet them, where ever you find 'em.
I'm focused right now getting myself back, not my ex. I landed a volunteer position with Dallas Animal Services helping with adoptions. I'm taking a vacation tomorrow to the Bay Area to visit some friends. I've been reaching out to old friends who I didn't keep in touch with much when I was with her. I go to the gym most every night when I don't have plans.
I know you can't force these things. It happens on its own timetable. The gap between her and the ex-ex was 22 months.
Getting a date is easy. Keeping her interested is the tough part. For that, just go with my Five Point Plan.
First of all Findog, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi."
Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it."
Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?"
Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice."
And five, now this is the most important, Findog. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.
how good are you at suckin ?
buy some ed hardy t-shirts and you'll be fine.
QF............be prepared to meet a great, great deal of women that have kids already.......when they around your age of 30. Otherwise, you may have to drop back down into your 20's to find the ladys that arent moms yet. Oh , this is San Antonio, you may have to drop back into the early teens.
i see what you did there.
ST has a good deal (one? starts with an A) of single 30 somethings on the board. go get 'em tiger.
oh not this bs again... so ST has become an outlet for those who have been stepped on and who are trying to get back out there? a therapist/psychiatrist for those who can't come up with their own answers to life.
son of a !
I'm not thirty yet but I've found 30 year olds to be quite ready for any kind of jump than people in the 20's.
"Wanna go out for a cu-"
"YES! *ahem* sure..I mean excuse me?"
"Wanna go out for a cup of coffee?"
"Oh sure, my house is right next to this coffee place we should go to."
"Uh oka-"
"You know, just in case it rains or whatever."
30? Really? No.
Dating in my thirties was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was old enough to know I was ready and I found the love of my life. The thing is that age doesn't matter for I saw my future wife, who was 13 years younger, as if the young man at heart that I was. I hope to never be in the dating game again.
u want a green card to australia? marry me!!!!
I feel for you man. We are almost exactly the same age and I can't imagine dating again. Don't try too hard and just let it all come to you.
Findog should definitely go to TDMVPDPOY for relationship advice. Hes really been charming that emo girl on here profile page.
i have had coquettes before but i declined them all. ive never had any romantic relationship with any girl/woman but i never thought it something bad. female is more of a cyanide to male tbqh, especially males who're 30yr or older. wife/kids no longer the main stuff for your life in the 21st century imo, needs to get adapted though i know its not easy for a 33yr old
plus marriage comes with risks. a married man could be cuckolded any time and he would get bankrupted if/when he had to pick the "divorce" option
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