Reply With Quote
How do you explain this to the posters rooting for HarlemHeat37?
For me it's not about sharing. You know, it's about everybody having their own spotlight and then just doing what's best for the team.
You know, at this point D Wade, he's the unselfish guy here. To be able to have Chris Bosh and then LeBron James, to welcome us to his team, it's not about an individual here. Because if that was the case, D Wade wouldn't have asked us to join him, or we wouldn't have asked him if it was okay to come down there. It's not about individuals. It's about a team, and that's what this game is about.
How do you explain this to the posters rooting for HarlemHeat37?
I mean, it's heartfelt for me. You know, it's hard to explain, but at the same time my heart, in the seven years I gave to that forum, to that city, it was everything.
I mean, those 20,000 plus fans that came out every night we trolled, and they seen me grow from an 18 year old kid to a 25 year old man. And I never wanted to leave the NBA Forum. And my heart will always be around that area. But I also felt like this is the greatest challenge for me is to move on.
What was the major reason for not picking DPG?
I don't even see it it's not like leaving the NBA Forum is the whole logistic of it; it's about joining forces with the other guy that I feel like I respect his game the most. And I feel like we have a great chance of trolling and trolling for multiple years.
Like I said before, this is a very emotional time for me. I know it's emotional for the fans and also for the area. And if it was a perfect world, I would have loved to stay, because I've done so many great things for that team, they've done so many great things for me. But I feel like it's time to change.
What do you think will be the fans' reaction back there, and will you still live in Dallas?
I'm not sure. You know, they can have mixed emotions, of course, but it's going to be a lot of emotions not understanding why. And then you're going to have the real friends who love me for who I am. For me being from Dallas, TX, and loving Dallas, TX, it's always home for me. I'm still going to live there, always be home. And Dallas, TX is always home for me and that area.
Erik Spoelstra is the coach. Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh said he will be the coach. Have you been told he will be your coach, or has Pat Riley, in your meetings, indicated he might come back to the bench?
No. Erik Spoelstra will be the coach. And Pat said that. And Erik is a great young coach. He has a great mentor in Pat.
If you need something to bounce off of, he has a great person to go through, because Pat has been through everything, been through the highest level to the lowest level. He knows everything about it. But I respect Erik and I respect the coaching staff. I respect Coach Spoelstra and everything he's going to do to try to put us in the right position to win it all.
Ever want to go through this again?
This is tough. This is very tough, because you feel like you've let a lot of people down. You've raised a lot of people's expectations also. But it was a tough decision, because I know how loyal I am.
And one thing my mother told me when I was going through this process and what ultimately helped me make my decision is you have to do what's best for you and what's going to make you happy at the end of the day, because no one can live with the consequences or anything that comes with your decision besides you.
And once I heard that from my mother, the person that I always look to for guidance, it was easy.
You told me she had a major influence when you called her this morning. You didn't believe the reaction she had would be the one that you got. Could you share with us what she said to you this morning?
Absolutely. Like I said, when I called my mother I thought I would hear a different reaction. When she her reaction was it was a great move, because she felt it was going to ultimately make me happy. It wasn't about being in retirement. It wasn't about playing alongside Chris, playing alongside Dwyane, who she believes are two great basketball players, because she loves the game. But she felt it was going to make me happy.
When I heard that from my mother, it was like it was the relief that I was looking for throughout this whole process.
Thanks to everybody for attending, that was The Decision 2011.
Final standings
1. Fpoonsie
2. DPG
3. Venti Quattro
4. HarlemHeat37
I still have to get a few of my affairs in order, and then on Friday, February 18th I will officially retire from SpursTalk.
Yes I can't give away my sources, but that's 100% for real a picture of Fabbs.
Flatulence
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Flatulence
German peasants greet the fire and brimstone from a papal bull of Pope Paul III in Martin Luther's 1545 Depictions of the Papacy.
Audible flatulence in a human.
Flatulence is the expulsion through the rectum of a mixture of gases that are byproducts of the digestion process of mammals and other animals. The mixture of gases is known as flatus in medical speak, informally as a fart, or simply (in American English) gas, and is expelled from the rectum in a process colloquially referred to as "passing gas", "breaking wind" or "farting". Flatus is brought to the rectum by the same peristaltic process which causes feces to descend from the large intestine. The noises commonly associated with flatulence are caused by the vibration of the anal sphincter, and occasionally by the closed buttocks.
Contents
[hide]
- 1 Composition of flatus
- 2 Physiology
- 3 Causes
- 4 Remedies
- 5 Health effects
- 6 Society and culture
- 7 See also
- 8 References
- 9 External links
Composition of flatus
Nitrogen, the main cons uent of air, is the primary gas released during flatulence, along with carbon dioxide, which is present in higher quan ies in those who drink carbonated beverages regularly. The lesser component gases methane and hydrogen are flammable, and so flatus containing adequate amounts of these can be ignited. However, not all humans produce flatus that contains methane. For example, in one study of the feces of nine adults, only five of the samples contained archaea capable of producing methane.[1] Similar results are found in samples of gas obtained from within the rectum.
The gas released during a flatus event frequently has an unpleasant odor. For many years, this was thought to be due to skatole and indole, which are byproducts of the digestion of meat. However, gas chromatography testing in 1984 revealed that sulfur-containing compounds, such as methanethiol, hydrogen sulfide (rotten egg smell) and dimethyl sulfide, were also[2] responsible for the smell.[3]
The incidence of odoriferous compounds in flatulence emissions increases from herbivores, such as cattle, through omnivores to carnivorous species, such as cats.[citation needed] Such odor can also be caused by the presence of large numbers of microflora bacteria and/or the presence of feces in the rectum.
The major components of the flatus, which are odorless, by percentage are:[4]
- Nitrogen: 20–90%
- Hydrogen: 0–50%
- Carbon dioxide: 10–30%
- Oxygen: 0–10%
- Methane: 0–10%
Physiology
Flatus is brought to the rectum by the same process which causes feces to descend from the large intestine (see peristaltic movement), and may cause a similar feeling of urgency and discomfort. Researchers investigating the role of sensory nerve endings in the anal canal did not find them to be essential for retaining fluids in the anus, and instead speculate that their role may be to distinguish between flatus and feces, thereby helping detect a need to defecate or to signal the end of defecation.[5]
The sound varies depending on the tightness of the sphincter muscle and velocity of the gas being propelled, as well as other factors, such as water and body fat. The auditory pitch (sound) of the flatulence outburst can also be affected by the anal embouchure. Among humans, flatulence occasionally happens accidentally, such as incidentally to coughing or sneezing or during orgasm; on other occasions, flatulence can be voluntarily elicited by tensing the rectum or "bearing down" on stomach or bowel muscles and subsequently relaxing the anal sphincter, resulting in the expulsion of flatus.
Causes
Intestinal gas is composed of varying quan ies of exogenous sources (air that is ingested through the nose and mouth) and endogenous sources (gas produced within the digestive tract). The exogenous gases are swallowed (aero ia) when eating or drinking or increased swallowing during times of excessive salivation (as might occur when nauseated or as the result of gastroeso eal reflux disease). The endogenous gases are produced either as a by-product of digesting certain types of food, or of incomplete digestion. Anything that causes food to be incompletely digested by the stomach and/or small intestine may cause flatulence when the material arrives in the large intestine, due to fermentation by yeast or prokaryotes normally or abnormally present in the gastrointestinal tract.
Flatulence-producing foods are typically high in certain polysaccharides, (especially oligosaccharides such as inulin). Those foods include beans, lentils, dairy products, onions, garlic, scallions, leeks, turnips, rutabagas, radishes, sweet potatoes, potatoes, cashews, Jerusalem artichokes, oats, wheat, and yeast in breads. Cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, Brussels sprouts and other cruciferous vegetables that belong to the genus Brassica are commonly reputed to not only increase flatulence, but to increase the pungency of the flatus.
In beans, endogenous gases seem to arise from complex oligosaccharides (carbohydrates) that are particularly resistant to digestion by mammals, but which are readily digestible by gut flora – microorganisms (methane-producing archaea; Methanobrevibacter smithii) that inhabit the digestive tract. These oligosaccharides pass through the upper intestine largely unchanged, and when they reach the lower intestine, bacteria feed on them, producing copious amounts of flatus.[6]
In the case of people who have lactose intolerance, intestinal bacteria feeding on lactose can give rise to excessive gas production when milk or lactose-containing substances have been consumed.
Interest in the causes of flatulence was spurred by high-al ude flight and the space program; the low atmospheric pressure, confined conditions, and stresses peculiar to those endeavours were cause for concern.[6] In the field of mountaineering, high al ude flatus expulsion was first noticed over two hundred years ago.
Some infections, such as giardiasis, are also associated with flatulence.[7]
Remedies
Dietary
Certain es have been reported to counteract the production of intestinal gas, most notably the closely related in, coriander, caraway and others such as ajwain, turmeric, asafoetida (Hing), epazote, and kombu kelp (a Japanese seaweed). Most starches, including potatoes, corn, noodles, and wheat, produce gas as they are broken down in the large intestine. Rice is the only starch that does not cause gas.[8] The amount of water-soluble oligosaccharide in beans that may contribute to production of intestinal gas is reputed to be reduced by a long period of soaking followed by boiling, but at a cost of also leaching out other water-soluble nutrients.[citation needed] Also, intestinal gas can be reduced by fermenting the beans, and making them less gas-inducing, and/or by cooking them in the liquor from a previous batch. Some legumes also stand up to prolonged cooking, which can help break down the oligosaccharides into simple sugars. On the other hand, fermented bean products such as miso are less likely to produce as much intestinal gas. Fermentative lactic acid bacteria such as Lactobacillus casei and Lactobacillus plantarum reduce flatulence in human intestinal tract.[9]
Probiotics (live yogurt, kefir, etc.) are reputed to reduce flatulence when used to restore balance to the normal intestinal flora.[10] Live (bioactive) yogurt contains, among other lactic bacteria, Lactobacillus acidophilus which may be useful in reducing flatulence. L. acidophilus may make the intestinal environmnent more acidic, supporting a natural balance of the fermentative processes. L. acidophilus is available in supplements (some believe non-dairy is best). Prebiotics, which generally are non-digestible oligosaccharides, such as fructooligosaccharide, generally increase flatulence in a similar way as described for lactose intolerance.
Medicinal activated charcoal tablets have also been reported as effective in reducing both odor and quan y of flatus when taken immediately before food that is likely to cause flatulence later.
Pharmacological
Digestive enzyme supplements may significantly reduce the amount of flatulence caused by some components of foods not being digested by the body and thereby promoting the action of microbes in the small and large intestines. It has been suggested that alpha-galactosidase enzymes, which can digest certain complex sugars, are effective in reducing the volume and frequency of flatus.[11] The enzymes alpha-galactosidase, lactase, amylase, lipase, protease, cellulase, glucoamylase, invertase, malt diastase, pectinase, and bromelain are available, either individually or in combination blends, in commercial products.
The antibiotic rifaximin, often used to treat diarrhea caused by the microorganism E. coli, may reduce both the production of intestinal gas and the frequency of flatus events.[12]
While not affecting the production of the gases themselves, surfactants (agents which lower surface tension) can reduce the disagreeable sensations associated with flatulence, by aiding the dissolution of the gases into liquid and solid fecal matter. [13] Preparations containing simethicone reportedly operate by promoting the coalescence of smaller bubbles into larger ones more easily passed from the body, either by burping or flatulence. Such preparations do not decrease the total amount of gas generated in or passed from the colon, but make the bubbles larger and thereby allowing them to be passed more easily.[13]
Often it may be helpful to ingest small quan ies of acidic liquids with meals, such as lemon juice or vinegar, to stimulate the production of gastric hydrochloric acid. In turn, acid ingestion may increase normal gastric enzyme and acid production, facilitating normal digestion and perhaps limiting intestinal gas production. Ingestion of bromelain- or papain-containing supplements (such as raw pineapple or papaya, respectively,) may be helpful.[citation needed]
Odor from flatulence, caused by the intestinal bacteria called microflora in the bowel, can be treated by taking bismuth subgallate, available over-the-counter as Devrom. Bismuth subgallate is commonly used by individuals who have had ostomy surgery, bariatric surgery, fecal incontinence and irritable bowel syndrome.[14][15]
Post-release
In 1998, Chester "Buck" Weimer of Pueblo, Colorado received a patent for the first undergarment that contained a replaceable charcoal filter. The undergarments are air-tight and provide a pocketed escape hole in which a charcoal filter can be inserted.[16] In 2001 Mr Weimer received the Ig Nobel Prize for Biology for his invention.[17]
A similar product was released in 2002, but rather than an entire undergarment, consumers are able to purchase an insert similar to a pantiliner that contains activated charcoal.[18] The inventors, Myra and Brian Conant of Mililani, Hawaii still claim on their website to have discovered the undergarment product in 2002 (eight years after Chester Weimer filed for a patent for his product), but state that their tests "concluded" that they should release an insert instead.[19]
Health effects
As a normal body function, the action of flatulence is an important signal of bowel activity, and hence is often do ented by nursing staff following surgical or other treatment of patients. However, symptoms of excessive flatulence can indicate the presence of irritable bowel syndrome or some other organic disease. In particular, the sudden occurrence of excessive flatulence together with the onset of new symptoms provide reason for seeking further medical examination.
Flatulence is not poisonous; it is a natural component of various intestinal contents. However, discomfort may develop from the build-up of gas pressure if an attempt is made to refrain from releasing them. In theory, pathological distension of the bowel, leading to constipation, could result if a person holds in flatulence.
Not all flatus is released from the body via the anus. When the partial pressure of any gas component of the intestinal lumen is higher than its partial pressure in the blood, that component enters into the bloodstream of the intestinal wall by the process of diffusion. As the blood passes through the lungs, this gas can diffuse back out of the blood and be exhaled. If a person holds in flatus during daytime, it will often be released during sleep involuntarily when the body is relaxed. Some flatus can become trapped within the feces during its compaction and will exit the body, still contained within the fecal matter, during the process of defecation.
Toxicity
Most component have low or no toxicity with the exception of Carbon dioxide which "At about 8% it causes headache, sweating, dim vision, tremor and loss of consciousness after exposure for between five and ten minutes." and flatulence can contain up to 30% of it but only for a very short period (few seconds) ; also to consider is diffusion which is linked to proximity and inhalation quan y.
Society and culture
In many cultures, human flatulence in public is regarded as embarrassing but, depending on context, can also be considered humorous. People will often strain to hold in the passing of gas when in polite company, or position themselves to conceal the noise and scent. In other cultures[examples needed], it may be no more embarrassing than coughing.
While the act of passing flatus in said cultures is generally considered to be an unfortunate occurrence in public settings, flatulence may, in casual cir stances and especially among children, be used as either a humorous supplement to a joke ("pull my finger"), or as a comic activity in and of itself. The social acceptability of flatulence-based humor in entertainment and the mass media varies over the course of time and between cultures. The humourous insult "I fart in your general direction" from the comedy film Monty Python and the Holy Grail has been reprinted on several posters, t-shirts, and hats.
In 2008, a farting application for the iPhone raked in nearly $10,000 in one day.[20] There are 6 different farting applications for the Palm Pre.
Environmental impact
The flatulence of cows is only a small portion of cows' methane release. Cows also burp methane, due to the physiology of their digestive systems.
Flatulence is often blamed as a significant source of greenhouse gases, owing to the erroneous belief that the methane released by livestock is in the flatus.[21] While livestock account for around 20% of global methane emissions,[22] 90–95% of that is released by exhaling or burping.[23] Only 1–2% of global methane emissions come from livestock flatus.
Since New Zealand produces large amounts of agricultural product it is in the unique position of having high methane emissions from livestock compared to other greenhouse gas sources. The New Zealand government is a signatory to the Kyoto Protocol and therefore attempts are being made to reduce greenhouse emissions. To achieve this an agricultural emissions research levy was proposed, which promptly became known as a "fart tax" or "flatulence tax". It encountered opposition from farmers, farming lobby groups and opposition politicians.
In Fresno, California, a system to harvest methane by-product from dairy cattle and convert it to usable bio-gas is being used, in a partnership with Pacific Gas & Electric (PG&E) and BioEnergy Solutions, in which BioEnergy Solutions sells the methane harvested from cows to PG&E, who then converts the methane to usable bio-gas, which is very similar to natural gas.[24]
In June 2009 Paul McCartney and other celebrities launched a "Meat Free Monday" campaign in order to reduce greenhouse gas emissions from the world's livestock.[25]
Farting at will
Main article: Flatulist
Historical comment on the ability to fart at will is observed as early as St. Augustine's The City of God (5th century AD). Augustine mentions men who "have such command of their bowels, that they can break wind continuously at will, so as to produce the effect of singing." The fact that mankind in general has lost this ability he attributes to the first sin of Adam and Eve and its consequences with respect to body control.[26] Intentional passing of gas and its use as entertainment for others appears to have been somewhat well-known in pre-modern Europe, according to mentions of it in medieval and later literature, including Rabelais.
Le Pétomane ("The Fartiste") was a famous French performer in the 19th century who, as well as many professional farters before him, did flatulence impressions and held shows. The performer Mr. Methane carries on Le Pétomane's tradition today. Also, a 2002 film Thunderpants revolves around a boy named Patrick Smash who has an ongoing flatulence problem since he was a newborn baby. He eventually overcame his problems and fulfilled his dreams including being an astronaut.
See also
References
Bibliography
- Allen, V. (2007) On Farting: Language and Laughter in the Middle Ages. Palgrave MacMillan. ISBN 978-0-312-23493-5.
- Bolin, T.D. & Stanton, R. (1997). Wind Breaks. Allen & Unwin. ISBN 9781864483215.
- Dawson, Jim (1999). Who Cut the Cheese?: A Cultural History of the Fart. Ten Speed Press. ISBN 1-58008-011-1.
- Dawson, Jim (2006). Blame it on the Dog: A Modern History of the Fart. Ten Speed Press. ISBN 1-58008-751-5.
- Franklin, Benjamin (2003). Japikse, Carl. ed. Fart Proudly ((Reprint) ed.). Frog Ltd/Blue Snake. ISBN 1-58394-079-0.
- Persels, J. & Ganim, R. (2004) Fecal Matters in Early Modern Literature and Art: Studies in Scatology. (Chap. 1: The Honorable Art of Farting in Continental Renaissance). ISBN 0754641163
- von Schmausen, D. (2002). Official Rules, New World Odor International Freestyle Farting Championship. LULU. ISBN 978-1-4357-0919-5.
Notes
- ^ Miller TL; Wolin MJ, de Macario EC, Macario AJ (1982). "Isolation of Methanobrevibacter smithii from human faeces". Appl Environ Microbiol 43 (1): 227–32. PMID 6798932. PMC 241804. http://aem.asm.org/cgi/pmidlookup?vi...g&pmid=6798932.
- ^ http://www.emedicinehealth.com/flatu...article_em.htm
- ^ Gilbert, Avery (2008). "The Molecules That Matter". What the Nose Knows. Crown Publishers. p. 28. ISBN 9781400082346.
- ^ "Human Digestive System". Encyclopedia Britannica. http://www.britannica.com/eb/article...em#294193.hook. Retrieved 2007-08-22.
- ^ Read, M. G.; Read, N. W. (1982). "Role of anorectal sensation in preserving continence". Gut 23 (4): 345–7. doi:10.1136/gut.23.4.345. PMID 7076012. PMC 1419736. http://gut.bmj.com/cgi/pmidlookup?vi...g&pmid=7076012.
- ^ a b McGee, Harold (1984). On Food and Cooking. Scribner. pp. 257–8. ISBN 0-684-84328-5.
- ^ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...272232/?page=3
- ^ Gas in the Digestive Tract a publication of National Digestive Diseases Information Clearinghouse, part of the US National Ins ute of Health
- ^ "Study shows secret to gas-free beans". 2006-04-26. Archived from the original on 2006-05-02. http://web.archive.org/web/200605021...ANS-DC-DC.html. Retrieved 2007-09-10.
- ^ Rubin J. and J. Brasco, Restoring Your Digestive Health (2003).
- ^ Ganiats TG; Norcross WA, Halverson AL, Burford PA, Palinkas LA (1994). "Does Beano prevent gas? A double-blind crossover study of oral alpha-galactosidase to treat dietary oligosaccharide intolerance". J Fam Pract 39 (5): 441–5. PMID 7964541.
- ^ Di Stefano M; Strocchi A, Malservisi S, Veneto G, Ferrieri A, Corazza GR (2000). "Non-absorbable antibiotics for managing intestinal gas production and gas-related symptoms". Aliment Pharmacol Ther 14 (8): 1001–8. doi:10.1046/j.1365-2036.2000.00808.x. PMID 10930893. http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/ope...e=8&spage=1001.
- ^ a b Brecević L, Bosan-Kilibarda I, Strajnar F (1994). "Mechanism of antifoaming action of simethicone". J Appl Toxicol 14 (3): 207–11. doi:10.1002/jat.2550140311. PMID 8083482.
- ^ Turnbull G (2005). "The Ostomy Files:The Issue of Oral Medications and a Fecal Ostomy". Ostomy/Wound Management 51: 14–16.
- ^ "Colostomy Guide". 2006-01-04. http://www.cancer.org/docroot/CRI/co..._Colostomy.asp. Retrieved 2007-09-10.
- ^ Weimer, Chester (1997-01-14). "Protective underwear with malodorous flatus filter". http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-P...=50&f=S&d=PALL. Retrieved 2007-07-27.
- ^ "The 2001 Ig Nobel Prize Winners". http://www.improb.com/ig/ig-pastwinners.html#ig2001. Retrieved 22 June 2010.
- ^ Conant, Brian J.; Myra M. Conant (2001-11-06). "Flatulence deodorizer". http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-P...=50&f=S&d=PALL. Retrieved 2007-09-10.
- ^ "Flat-D Innovations Inc.: About the American Inventor". http://www.flat-d.com/american-inventor.html. Retrieved 2007-09-10.
- ^ Chen, Brian X. (December 24, 2008). "iPhone Fart App Rakes in $10,000 a Day". Wired News. http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2008/12/iphone-fart-app/.
- ^ ABC Southern Queensland: "Could skippy stop cows farting and end global warming?" Friday, 3 February 2006. Example of error. Although the article doesn't specify whether the methane is released by flatulence or eructation, it appears the headline-writer assumes it's through flatulence.
- ^ Nowak, Rachel (September 24, 2004). "Burp vaccine cuts greenhouse gas". New Scientist. http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn6431.
- ^ "Bovine belching called udderly serious gas problem—Global warming concerns spur effort to cut methane." By Gary Polakovic. Los Angeles Times, Sunday, July 13, 2003.
- ^ "California converting cow dung into biogas." By Catherine Elsworth. Telegraph Media Group Limited, Friday, May 30, 2008.
- ^ "Sir Paul McCartney calls for meat-free Mondays to combat climate change — Telegraph". The Daily Telegraph. 15 June 2009. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...te-change.html. Retrieved 16 June 2009.
- ^ The City of God Against the Pagans, ed and trans Philip Levine, Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1966, XIV.24
External links
Look up flatus or flatulence in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.
Wikimedia Commons has media related to: Flatulence
Wikisource has original text related to this article: A cure for flatulence from 1872
- The Farting Survey (fartsurvey.com) - a comprehensive, worldwide survey about farts and farting.
- The Merck Manual of Diagnosis and Therapy, Gas
- Facts on Farts
- Dictionary of Fart Slang
- The Great Fart Survey (simple statistical analysis of flatulence in youths) produced by Australian Broadcasting Corporation youth website, Rollercoaster)
- Flatulence Treatment
- CNN - Farmers let rip on flatulence tax
- The world's interactive fart community
- Airline to charge for farting
[hide]Symptoms and signs: digestive system and abdomen (R10–R19, 787,789)
GI tract Upper GI tract
Nausea/Vomiting · Heartburn · Dys ia (Oropharyngeal, Eso eal)
Halitosis
Lower GI tract
gas: Flatulence · Abdominal distension · Bloating · Belching · Tympanites
stool: Fecal incontinence (Encopresis) · Rectal tenesmus
blood: Fecal occult blood
Diarrhea
Football sign
Accessory Hepatosplenomegaly/Hepatomegaly
Jaundice
Abdominopelvic cavity Ascites
Abdominal – general Abdominal pain (Acute abdomen, Colic, Baby colic)
Splenomegaly
Abdominal guarding · Abdominal mass · Rebound tenderness
Shifting dullness · Bulging flanks · Puddle sign
M: DIG
anat(t, g, p)/phys/devp/cell/enzy
noco/cong/tumr, sysi/epon
proc, drug(A2A/2B/3/4/5/6/7/14/16), blte
Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatulence"
Categories: Reflexes | Flatulence | Gastroenterology | Methane | Symptoms and signs: Digestive system and abdomen | Medical signs
Hidden categories: Wikipedia semi-protected pages | All articles with unsourced statements | Articles with unsourced statements from February 2009 | Articles with unsourced statements from April 2009 | Articles with unsourced statements from March 2007 | All pages needing cleanup | Wikipedia articles needing clarification from January 2011
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lolololol remember just a few hours ago when you were begging me to help you regulate The Reckoning cuz he was owning you so bad
"please help me gang up on him"
It's probably got on itself already...
IT PUTS THE LOTION ON IT'S SKIN...
lol mono retiring
Dear SpursTalk, All Of NBA Forum Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight;
As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a NBA Forum Poster.
This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.
Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.
The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown SpursTalk have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.
There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.
You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.
You have given so much and deserve so much more.
In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:
"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT SPURSTALK WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF- LED FORMER 'BOSS' WINS ONE"
You can take it to the bank.
If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to SpursTalk, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.
Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.
Sorry, but that's simply not how it works.
This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown "chosen one" sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And "who" we would want them to grow-up to become.
But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called "curse" on SpursTalk.
The self-declared former "Boss" will be taking the "curse" with him down south. And until he does "right" by the NBA Forum and SpursTalk, Mono (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.
Just watch.
Sleep well, SpursTalk.
Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day....
I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:
DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue....
Kori Ellis
Majority Owner
SpursTalk
I barely knew Christine when she turned up at my door at around eight o'clock on the night of Halloween. We'd met for the first and only time three months earlier when my two roommates and I signed the lease on our apartment: Christine's aunt owned the place we were moving into, and she happened to be up from Delaware visiting at the time. But we'd only spent about five minutes together that day and we hadn't spoken much, and I hadn't thought of her since.
Yet here she was standing outside my door with a friend. And both of them were pretty tipsy.
She asked if she and her friend could come inside our apartment to change into their costumes. She couldn't change at her aunt's place, she said, because she was sleeping and she didn't want to wake her up. Would we mind if she used our bathroom instead?
It was a pretty strange request. Sure, weird stuff happens on Halloween, but I barely knew her, and it isn't every day that someone shows up at your front door and asks to change into their ladybug costume. But I told her it was fine and she was welcome to use our place to get ready.
It didn't take long before the two women—who'd clearly been drinking—were sitting on my couch, beers in hand, trying to convince my roommate and me to join them for a night on the town. Christine was in the holiday spirit dressed in her ladybug outfit. Her friend, who had a female pirate costume on, was much more quiet and reserved. She barely spoke all night.
It was a Wednesday evening, and my roommate and I hadn't been planning to go out. We both had to get up pretty early the next morning for work. But Christine was insistent that we join them, and she wasn't taking no for an answer. "Come on, guys! Let's go! Just throw something on!" she said.
The costume that I wore for the Halloween a year before—a boy scout's uniform that belonged to a friend—was still sitting in my closet. So that made it easy. But my roommate had no idea what to put on.
Christine immediately came up with an idea. She pointed to a cardboard box in the kitchen—the kind that 12-packs of Coca-Cola come in—and told him to cut a hole in the middle and put it on top of his head. We weren't sure what she was suggesting.
"You can go as a cokehead!" she said, bursting into laughter.
With our costume situation sorted out, we headed to South Street, where lots of bars in Philadelphia are located. Half an hour later, the four of us were seated at a table and knocking back beers.
It really didn't take very long for Christine to make her move. She'd grabbed my hand on the way from the apartment to South Street, so I can't say I was totally surprised when she leaned in to kiss me soon after we arrived at the bar.
I could tell when we first met that Christine was older than me. I was 25, and although I never asked her age, I'd have guessed she was in her early 30s. It was only recently that I found out her real age and learned she was in her late 30s when we hooked up. There's a 14-year gap between us, but she looks good for her age. I don't think I'd heard the word "cougar" yet at that point, but that's probably what I'd call her.
Aggressive is another word I'd use to describe her. At the bar, she confessed to me that her aunt really hadn't been sleeping. She hadn't even gone to her apartment to check, she said. She had remembered me from our five-minute meeting the previous summer, and used the story about her aunt as an excuse to knock on my door. She'd set her sights on me from the beginning.
Christine was pretty intense, and she was pretty outspoken that night, but we didn't talk politics much. Her aunt had told me that Christine ran for Senate a year earlier and had lost, so I knew a bit about her background. But the most political she got that night was when she said she attended lots of events in Washington that attracted congressmen and senators. "It would be nice to have a good-looking young man to attend those with me," she added.
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We'd probably knocked back five Heinekens when Christine leaned over and whispered in my ear that she wanted to go back to my place. Before we could go, though, she told me to ask her friend if she'd mind if I drove Christine home later that evening. That was odd. I guess Christine didn't want to come across as a in her friend's eyes for going home with me, so she wanted me to bring it up her friend first.
I did what I was told and asked her friend if she had any objection to me hanging out with Christine a little longer provided I took her home later on in the evening. She didn't, and a few minutes after that, we were all headed back to my apartment. Christine's friend got in her car and went home. My roommate went to his bedroom and went to sleep. And Christine and I got cozy on the couch and popped open another beer.
Things got physical on the couch pretty quickly. It wasn't long before we'd moved from the living room to my bed.
I won't get into the nitty gritty details of what happened between the sheets that evening. But I will say that it wasn't half as exciting as I'd been hoping it would be. Christine was a decent kisser, but as soon as soon as her clothes came off and she was naked in my bed, Christine informed me that she was a virgin.
"You've got to be kidding," I said. She didn't explain at the time that she was a "born-again virgin." She made it seem like she'd never had sex in her life, which seemed pretty improbable for a woman her age. And she made it clear that she was planning on staying a virgin that night. But there were signs that she wasn't very experienced sexually. When her underwear came off, I immediately noticed that the waxing trend had completely passed her by.
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Obviously, that was a big turnoff, and I quickly lost interest. I said goodnight, rolled over, and went to sleep. It was almost four o'clock in the morning. I had to get up at 6:30 to go to work.
Christine wasn't in the best of shape when my alarm clock went off three hours later. I was hungover and exhausted and we'd both had about the same amount to drink, so I'm guessing she was feeling even worse. I got up and started to get dressed and told Christine she'd need to get up, too. But she clearly didn't want to budge, and even after I'd reminded her a few times, she was still under the covers. Did she think I was going to leave for work and let her sleep in my bed?
When she finally did get up and dressed and we got in the car, Christine couldn't remember exactly where her friend lived. We circled around for about 20 minutes before we found it, and I dropped her off in the parking lot next to her car, as she asked me to. We said goodbye and exchanged phone numbers and email addresses. But there wasn't a whole lot of back and forth. I didn't even try to give her a kiss goodbye.
I wasn't planning on contacting Christine after our night together. Things hadn't gone so great—especially the part that took place in my bedroom—and I didn't see any reason to try and see her again. But two or three days later, she emailed me to ask me if I wanted to hang out again. I made an excuse. But she didn't take a hint and emailed or called a few more times over the next couple of weeks before I was forced to make it clear to her that I wasn't interested.
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Things worked out for the best, though. A few weeks later, Christine started dating my roommate. They went out for over a year, and it was a little awkward the first few times Christine came over to visit him at our apartment and we all had to make conversation in the living room. But that passed pretty quickly. And in case you're wondering, he never had sex with her either, as far as I know.
When I heard several months ago that Christine had decided to run again, I didn't take it very seriously. And I never expected in a million years that she'd end up winning the primary. But she did, and the morning after the election, I sat in disbelief as I watched the news on TV. For a second, I thought I might be hearing things and I went over to my computer and pulled up CNN.com to check if it was true. It was.
God, I hope the same thing doesn't happen next week.
If I was the boss, I would try to troll by myself. When you're the boss, you shouldn't try to piggyback.
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