You outlined the important distinction, in tactics. The US military does not use mass killings of civilians to achieve strategic goals.
This gives the military a lot more moral authority to people, and that is, by any senior officer account I have read, highly important in the type of war we are fighting.
Let's get to brass tacks and be perfectly clear.
Do you admit that we, in the course of our military operations, kill innocent civilians? yes or no will do.
Are you comfortable with those deaths? yes or no.