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Well I don't have any advice, but it's great to see that you're back on your feet and have two chicks to chose from
So it's been almost six months since my ex-fiancee left me. I took my time healing and working on myself before finally attempting to date again.
I set up a profile on OkCupid and I now have two prospects. I met A first. I really like this girl. We've gone out twice, and the second date was going so well that I knew she would say yes if I asked her out again. This was last Thursday night. I had a wedding and a birthday party going on this weekend, and I didn't want to appear overeager, so I asked her out for Sunday afternoon the weekend of April 2-3. At the end of the date we're making out, and she says "Sunday, April 3rd? That's too long to have to wait to see you again." So I suggested getting together during the week and that I'd call her Sunday (yesterday) to work out the details. So I called her yesterday afternoon, three days after our date, and we've made arrangements for me to go to her place this Thursday and I'm going to cook her dinner. That's in addition to our scheduled date next Sunday. In between dates I don't text or call. The only red flags I can see so far is that she's beautiful and has a lot of male attention. She was telling me about two guy friends of hers that want to be more than friends and she's not into them that way. I figure I have to assume that this early in the game I'm not the only guy in the picture.
C is another girl I was chatting with on OKCupid during the same timeframe. We met for drinks last night. C was WAY into me. Usually for a first date with somebody I met online, I try to keep it short, like 1-2 hours and just leave it at drinks. She was very affectionate and throwing a lot of compliments my way, and wanted to grab dinner. I agreed. So then we had dinner, and she said that for a second date, she'd like for me to come over and cook me dinner. Since I already have plans with A for Thursday and Sunday, I said I had previous plans those days and could do something sometime else. So I walk her to her car, give her a hug goodnight, and she says "I'm really into you but I don't kiss on a first date." And I said that was fine, said good night and got into my car and drove off. Then she starts texting me "I wanted to kiss u...I want to keep hanging out" etc. I agreed to meet her at this other bar. We ended up hanging out a total of five hours from first meeting for drinks, then dinner, then drinks again. I broke a lot of my own rules for a first date. At the second bar, we were holding hands, she was still throwing a lot of compliments my way, and then when I walked her to her car, we made out a little bit. She said she was free Saturday for me to come over and I agreed.
Ethically, neither one of these girls is my girlfriend, so what I do owe them in the way of disclosure? I haven't had relations with either yet, but if things keep going well, I think that opportunity will present itself with both of them. I like A better, and although she hasn't come on nearly as strong as C, I can tell she is definitely into me. A is four years younger, she's prettier, she's a non-smoker unlike C, and she lives 30 miles from my ex-fiancee, whereas I found out C lives like a mile from my ex-fiancee's apartment and I would have to take the same exit to get to her place. I have avoided that area for the last five months as best as I can, and I always get upset when I have no choice but to drive through it.
I like A better and don't want to do anything to f*** up my chances with her. Should I cancel the second date with C, or just see how things play out with A first? If C pushes for sex, should I simply say that this is my first foray back into the dating scene since things ended with my ex, I'm dating other people and right now I'm not looking for anything exclusive? Would that be being honest and setting expectations? (we exchanged romantic history so she got the Cliff's Notes version of what happened with my ex-fiancee). C just came on so strong that I was a little bit intimidated.
I've never juggled two women before, but neither one is my girlfriend yet, so I'm not sure what is ethical and what is not. It seems like it's unethical to be sexually active with two different people if they're not aware you're dating other people, even if you use protection like I always do.
Well I don't have any advice, but it's great to see that you're back on your feet and have two chicks to chose from
See if C is down for A2M, and then give A a chance to match if so.
in my honest opinion..
use and abuse both of them. now is the time to build your manhood back up after what women did to you. let them know that youre not taking , and sleep with both of them.
if you want my chivalrous opinion, tell girl C (what happened to B? is she hanging in your closet?) that you dont want to move too fast because you just got back on the horse, but youll def keep her number in case you feel like giving relationships another chance. go after girl A, but dont let her know that. youre doing a good job of not calling or texting in between dates. take girl A out every once and awhile, but act like youre a very busy and popular person. she'll feel the need to compete for your time, and youll have her snatching onto your sack and not letting it go. whatever you do, dont get emotional, needy or too generous with her. keep her from being bored. keep her laughing.
good luck man. im really happy to hear youre over that dumb. notch this up as another victory for manhood.
dont forget to parade your new gal around so your ex sees yall together and happy. thats always the best part.
Emo much?
I think he's more concerned with not being a 50 year old bachelor
55 year old bachelor
Well I don't have any advice, but it's great to see that you're back on your feet and have two chicks to chose from
This thread is gold.
I'd pretty much agree with reckoning. Sounds like A could be one of those hot girls that's secretly a so I'd steer clear of getting attached at all. Not saying that's the case, but when hot girls have tons of guy "friends" they usually turn out to be previous/current buddies. Just depends on the type of girl she is though.
C seems a bit.. desperate. I wouldn't with that. Were you intimated or scared that she was going to stalk you? Like I said.. doesn't sound like a girl you'd ever date. So if anything you could her a few times but don't ever go to your place or let her know where you live if you plan on just ing, cause es be crazy.
Also, really, what the happened to B? Is that your ex-fiancées first initial so you didn't want to use that letter?
You've got... dating rules? what are you? 17 and female?
You don't owe anybody , you like A, dump C, problem solved. I'm assuming C is a big girl and can handle rejection. If not, that's not your problem either.
Its quite simple really
They you go.
I'd say just be honest to them and have fun. You're single. If you're honest with them they'll let you know if theyre ok with it or not. Make your decision at that point. Hopefully, they're honest with you as well so theyre not stringing you along if they're dabbling, like it sounds you want to do. I see no harm, no foul in doing that. Keep the line of communication open and you should have a clear conscience.
And you're gonna have to get over the ex-fiancé thing. Hence, ex. If location is a hold up then that's something you have to deal with and get over.
Whew. Now I don't feel as bad.
I don't think there's anything wrong with dating more than one person if things are still in the casual and/or early stages, just so long as everyone involved knows that's the case. Which is not to say that you owe either woman a play-by-play of who else you're dating, when, or how often, but I do think that exclusivity is one of those things that should be agreed upon by everyone. Especially when/if sex is involved.
Keeping it honest is always the best thing, you know thatA sounds like a nice girl, probably cueing you in on the "other contenders" was her way of giving you a little nudge----compe ion creates interest.
The other girl sounds okay too, but your comment "C just came on so strong that I was a little bit intimidated" kinda stuck out to me as maybe a signal of too much too soon for you? Also, denying you a goodnight kiss, but then texting to reel you back, seemed a little manipulative or game playing; you need to decide if that's the kind of girl you want to deal with at this stage.
I'd say, take it slow, see how things progress with A; keep things open, honest, but at arm's length with C. Good luck
Eh, you make C sound really sketchy. Someone texting you that soon after the first date to come back sets off all kinds of alarm bells, IMO.
You don't owe either anything since you're not exclusive but C just seems like a future Spurstalk post waiting to happen. And not the good kind.
My , you just need to slay some box and let the chips fall where they may. "You can't hurry love, no you'll just have to wait."
Also that.
That. Especially the last sentence.
Yeah, the more I think about last night, the more it just doesn't feel right, whether A was in the picture or not.
Forget the ethics. I'm on it.
I hope you make one of them some hot pockets with toothpicks in them.
Date a.
Keep c on the back burner...
A and C are just the first letters of their first names. Ex-fiancee's first name starts with C, incidentally.
this is not the time to start acting like a pussy.
Rebound the out of those es
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