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  1. #1
    Got Woke? DMC's Avatar
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    I am not trying to be funny, so if it's not funny, that's what I intended.

    I was eating at a local restaurant today and suddenly this midget waitress comes strolling by. She was really tiny, but had a huge head. I lost my appe e just like that and the more I thought about it, the more I just needed to go. I hadn't even touched my food but for some reason the thought of this tiny woman with the super sized melon was making me nauseous.

    I didn't realize until then that I had a totally irrational fear of midget women. I was sweating it out, hoping like she didn't come ask me how my food was, because I don't think I could have answered. She had this really high munchkin voice and was talking to an elderly couple who were entertaining her.

    Finally my waitress comes over and asks me if I needed anything, and I was that close to saying "yes, keep this ing midget away from me" but I just asked for a to go box.

    I later felt bad about it. It's not her fault, and I have never felt that kind of anxiety to get the out of a place since someone asked me if I wanted to get saved.

    I still feel the effects of it actually (the midget, not the psycho who wanted to save me).

  2. #2
    It's off a video game. lazerelmo's Avatar
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    True.

    If you're not saved, the midget girl at a restaurant should be the least of your fears.

  3. #3
    Independent DMX7's Avatar
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    It was probably DarrinS you saw.

  4. #4
    Got Woke? DMC's Avatar
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    True.

    If you're not saved, the midget girl at a restaurant should be the least of your fears.
    I am saved. I am saved from assholes who think an invisible sky buddy is protecting them from the invisible ground demon. What saves me? The ability to think rationally and critically, and a total absence of guilt for for it.

  5. #5
    #FreeGiuseppe BlackSwordsMan's Avatar
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    I can't sleep in the dark

  6. #6
    Watching the collapse benefactor's Avatar
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    benefactor
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    Waterbugs...scared to death of them. They can't even bite and I have the feeling of terror hit me right in chest when I see one.

  7. #7
    NWF Summers's Avatar
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    "yes, keep this ing midget away from me"
    That was really rude.

    I have a weird spit phobia. I don't know where it came from. Seeing someone spit makes me gag a little.

  8. #8
    Straight Forward PM5K's Avatar
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    I'm always scared someone is going to put a mouse trap in my mailbox and then one day when I check the mail at night and have to reach in for a piece near the back that I'll get popped.

    Sounds like a good prank for someone else though.

    Is that irrational?

  9. #9
    Got Woke? DMC's Avatar
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    That was really rude.

    I have a weird spit phobia. I don't know where it came from. Seeing someone spit makes me gag a little.
    I didn't actually say it. Is it rude to think something? Can you control that?

  10. #10
    Veteran Sisk's Avatar
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    I didn't actually say it. Is it rude to think something? Can you control that?
    You're hostile today, tbh.

  11. #11
    Got Woke? DMC's Avatar
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    You're hostile today, tbh.
    I am?

  12. #12
    bandwagon hater
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    I have no problem handling Tarantula's or just about any spider.... Im not scared of Spiders at all.....

    The second I walk/run/bikeride into a web though, I turn into a giant irrational pussy.

    I guess it's just the "not knowing" what type of Spider spun the web.... I literally freak the out when I get a face full of spider web. there was one time where friends actually thought I was being attacked by killer bee's on a bike ride and they hauled ass away from me trying to call 911 because of the way I was flailing my arms and screaming.

  13. #13
    Knowledge Is Hassle Fpoonsie's Avatar
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    I have no problem handling Tarantula's or just about any spider.... Im not scared of Spiders at all.....

    The second I walk/run/bikeride into a web though, I turn into a giant irrational pussy.

    I guess it's just the "not knowing" what type of Spider spun the web.... I literally freak the out when I get a face full of spider web. there was one time where friends actually thought I was being attacked by killer bee's on a bike ride and they hauled ass away from me trying to call 911 because of the way I was flailing my arms and screaming.

  14. #14
    Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Viva Las Espuelas's Avatar
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    I am not trying to be funny, so if it's not funny, that's what I intended.

    I was eating at a local restaurant today an
    dude, that's hilarious.



    But seriously, I know someone that is deathly afraid of all little people. Male and female. Her reason is because "they drool and scratch" <shrugs>

  15. #15
    Veteran blizz's Avatar
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    in hate crickets

  16. #16
    Got Woke? DMC's Avatar
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    dude, that's hilarious.



    But seriously, I know someone that is deathly afraid of all little people. Male and female. Her reason is because "they drool and scratch" <shrugs>
    Drool and scratch?


    I told my wife about it. She says I am just a careless bas .

  17. #17
    Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Viva Las Espuelas's Avatar
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    Drool and scratch?
    I'm serious. Everytime it came up, she gave the same response. She also thought bare feet was the most disgusting thing ever. We teased her once that we were goin to hire a midget for her birthday to come in and dance on her desk barefoot. She about died and hyperventilated in front of us. She was a odd broad.

  18. #18
    Mr. John Wayne CosmicCowboy's Avatar
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    I am not trying to be funny, so if it's not funny, that's what I intended.

    I was eating at a local restaurant today and suddenly this midget waitress comes strolling by. She was really tiny, but had a huge head. I lost my appe e just like that and the more I thought about it, the more I just needed to go. I hadn't even touched my food but for some reason the thought of this tiny woman with the super sized melon was making me nauseous.

    I didn't realize until then that I had a totally irrational fear of midget women. I was sweating it out, hoping like she didn't come ask me how my food was, because I don't think I could have answered. She had this really high munchkin voice and was talking to an elderly couple who were entertaining her.

    Finally my waitress comes over and asks me if I needed anything, and I was that close to saying "yes, keep this ing midget away from me" but I just asked for a to go box.

    I later felt bad about it. It's not her fault, and I have never felt that kind of anxiety to get the out of a place since someone asked me if I wanted to get saved.

    I still feel the effects of it actually (the midget, not the psycho who wanted to save me).
    You need to go a couple rounds with her to get over your fear..

    *NSFW warning*

    http://www.sexyescortads.com/escort-90-126048/
    Last edited by CosmicCowboy; 04-22-2011 at 10:09 AM.

  19. #19
    Master of Information Dr. Gonzo's Avatar
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    I'm scared of people with AIDS.

  20. #20
    Pop took his brain back. xellos88330's Avatar
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    I am not trying to be funny, so if it's not funny, that's what I intended.

    I was eating at a local restaurant today and suddenly this midget waitress comes strolling by. She was really tiny, but had a huge head. I lost my appe e just like that and the more I thought about it, the more I just needed to go. I hadn't even touched my food but for some reason the thought of this tiny woman with the super sized melon was making me nauseous.

    I didn't realize until then that I had a totally irrational fear of midget women. I was sweating it out, hoping like she didn't come ask me how my food was, because I don't think I could have answered. She had this really high munchkin voice and was talking to an elderly couple who were entertaining her.

    Finally my waitress comes over and asks me if I needed anything, and I was that close to saying "yes, keep this ing midget away from me" but I just asked for a to go box.

    I later felt bad about it. It's not her fault, and I have never felt that kind of anxiety to get the out of a place since someone asked me if I wanted to get saved.

    I still feel the effects of it actually (the midget, not the psycho who wanted to save me).
    Just think of her running. I know it is pretty bad, but when little people run, I find it hilarious with their tiny bow legged legs moving so fast, but them hardly getting anywhere. It is cartoonish.

  21. #21
    Got Woke? DMC's Avatar
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    Just think of her running. I know it is pretty bad, but when little people run, I find it hilarious with their tiny bow legged legs moving so fast, but them hardly getting anywhere. It is cartoonish.
    She wasn't like that little cigar fingered . She was bent and skinny, her ass was up around her shoulders and she looked like that from The Ring, long ass hair (not ass hair, just head hair) and a normal sized head. It looked like a really bad photoshop came to life.

  22. #22
    Got Woke? DMC's Avatar
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    I'm scared of people with AIDS.
    Me too. It took me forever to get rid of that the first time.

  23. #23
    Got Woke? DMC's Avatar
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    You need to go a couple rounds with her to get over your fear..

    *NSFW warning*

    http://www.sexyescortads.com/escort-90-126048/
    There aint no ing way. I would need Popsicle sticks and duct tape to keep it up. That would be disgusting, you could hold her legs over her head with two fingers on one hand. It would be like ing a brisket.

  24. #24
    Got Woke? DMC's Avatar
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    I'm serious. Everytime it came up, she gave the same response. She also thought bare feet was the most disgusting thing ever. We teased her once that we were goin to hire a midget for her birthday to come in and dance on her desk barefoot. She about died and hyperventilated in front of us. She was a odd broad.
    Bare feet are sexy on a sexy person. On a midget, they are pods.

  25. #25
    Each Day Offers Potential Darrin's Avatar
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    I have a fear of batteries. Don't like to touch them.

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