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Quick! Tape them to your lawnmower!
After a lot of experimentation, I was able finally upload a group of illegal aliens to my hard drive. I think they were illegal anyway. But when I tried to email them back to Mexico, they somehow ended being diverted and began popping out of my printer. So before I can turn off the printer, about 17 Mexicans had shoosted out of it. So now, they’re just standing around confused as . I’m scared to try to upload them again because they may end up going through the copier and multiplying. But I’m also scared they are going to begin asking questions that I can’t answer. Hopefully, I can occupy them long enough so the maid can get here and maybe she can vacuum them up and take them home. I don’t know. I’m really worried.
Quick! Tape them to your lawnmower!
First thing that I would do is look to see if there is anything laying around that might be useful. If you happen to find a stick you should begin to shapren it with your survival knife. Once you have sufficiently sharpened your stick you can begin to stab at them and skewer them. You will need more sticks because I believe only about 5 Mexicans will fit per 2 foot stick. Then once you have collected them all use your knife to shave their heads. Their hair is excellent tinder for starting a fire. Collect all the hair and with a single match you should be able to get a fire going. Be sure to use whatever you can around you to keep it going because the Mexicans will take at least 30 minutes per skewer to cook. You'll know they are done once their skin begins to crack and get crispy. No need to gut them as their insides are usually filled with beans, corn, jalapenos, etc. and that gives them a nice flavor.
Be sure to invite friends but remember that it will take at least 2 Mexicans to satisfy a person's appe e. It doesn't hurt to have a harmonica on hand either.
I forgot to mention though to be careful if you happen to find some females because usually they are carrying a litter. You don't want to overcook the young because then you just waste a true delicacy.
Thanks but I'm at ing work...no knife and no sticks laying around. But I am going to try to start a fire with some old toner and some of those "sign here" stickers. I'm going to then try to get them all into a FedEx box by shriking them down. If I'm thinking this through correctly, once I put the FedEx box on the fire, they will end up on a flash drive that's in the server. I'll reconstruct the burnt FedEx box, drop the flash drive in, and ship them to Kinkos and instruct them to email the illegals to Monterey.
Well sorry then, I can't help you. Unless it's one of my cameras, I'm just no use when it comes to technology. Best of luck to you though.
I understand. Thanks for the effort Les Stroud.
can we make this illegals do my programming jobs inside my computer?
Interesting idea. I think they would first have to be emailed to tech school for training. What's your home address and I'll ship the flash drive to you. Thanks in advance!
well I have this business idea to have a web storefront and illegals can be hired to do odd jobs. For example, cleaning up a Recycle Bin, wiping a Spam Folder, sweeping a Junk Mailbox or even polishing my various icons, you know make them sparkling shiny.
I don't know. It's very ambitious and has merit. But they've really ed up Spurstalk. So...there's that...
I'll tell you what. See if Kori will set up a message board where we can all exchange illegal aliens that we've uploaded. We can also make comments about which ones can do what. Kind of like a virtual Angie's List. I think I've already ruined this box but I'll try to get some more. I'm also going to disconnect all the peripherals to avoid the embarrasing situation I had earlier.
You're going to have to do most of the work since it's your vision. But I'll be glad to lend support when I can.
Is the evidence the dried semen in your stool?
you'll be a great accountant I'm sure. good luck
There's no accounting... for bad taste.
Then get on with it and quit talking about it. Years from now when you're serving their kids Happy Meals, we'll all have a laugh at the irony.
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Want to hear an accountant joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I'm 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I'm an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, 225 pounds, and he's an accountant. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "No, I don't want to have to explain it two times."
So how many s have you counted?
An accountant walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks what he wants to drink. The parrot squawks, "gin and tonic". The bartender, in awe, says, "That's great. Where did you find him." The parrot says, "Some ni##ers sold him to me for a quarter."
maybe they will listen after you get your accounting degree. If you become valedictorian, you could incorporate your immigrant story in the speech. Maybe someone will listen then.
Hey guey, what did the constipated accountant do? The pendejo worked it out with a pencil. AYE GUEY!
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