What's a cluster b?
Just encountered a Cluster B out in the wild. First date went really well. Second date - kind of meh. She's 32 and on the second encounter it became apparent she's a bit of a lush, and our lifestyles just really weren't compatible. Wouldn't have even bothered to call/text her after that except at sundown on our date, I (stupidly) asked her to hold on to my Ray Bans in her purse and at the end of the night forgot to get them back.
So I texted her a few days afterwards, just a generic how's it going message. No reply, so an hour later, I text again "Hey, I think I left my sunglasses in your purse. I was hoping to pick them up this week. (She lives 30 miles away from me). I can come up to your neck of the woods and I'll buy you a beer or a cup of coffee." She texts back immediately, makes a joke about how she sold my glasses to an international arms dealer, we text back and forth and make jokes and friendly banter, and tentatively made plans to meet up for coffee two days later where she'd bring me my glasses. I didn't say anything remotely in the area of "I only want my glasses back, I'm not interested in you." She even sent me a picture text of a "ransom note" from the glasses, saying if I ever want to see them again I'd better buy her a case of Blue Moon. Cute, funny stuff. The witty banter actually had me reconsidering being so dismissive of her after the second date. Girls with a sense of humor are hard to find, so I was actually looking forward to coffee and thinking that maybe I should keep an open mind towards continuing getting to know her.
At bedtime I hadn't heard from her, so I texted her again last night to firm up details about when/where to meet. She texts me back, and then tells me this long story about a kind, elderly man that she met a couple of weeks ago, and about how last night he gave her like a guitar and some very other expensive items as gifts. Then she says "I want to pay him back for his kindness and I'm gathering up used books since he's putting together a library. Do you have any old books you could donate?"
Not wanting to piss her off and mess up my chances of getting back my glasses, I reply "Sure I have some books I could donate. Otherwise they'd just collect dust on my shelves, plus I could only get like $5 for them at Half Price."
She texts back "Nevermind. Sale them to Half Price. If you have a mailing address, I'll ship you the sunglasses. Enjoy your $5 book." At this point I'm like WTF? but I don't want to piss this girl off and antagonize her, so I figure my best strategy at this point to get my glasses was to be beta, so I texted back "I'm really sorry if I said something to upset or offend you. I've enjoyed getting to know you and wish you well" blah blah blah. She replies "No worries. It's the fact that you don't understand that makes it clear."
I really wanted to say "You're right. I really don't understand, nor do I want to understand and you're a stupid " but again, I'm trying to retrieve my nice Ray Bans. I don't get why she felt the need to insult me. How long should I wait before contacting her again if she hasn't mailed them to me? Would the police help me at all if I filed a police report? I have her name, phone #, and a series of texts in which she acknowledges she has my property and promises to return it, plus pictorial evidence. And I would really prefer to just text her and tell her I prefer to meet in public to get my glasses back than risk them getting lost or damaged in the mail.
What's a cluster b?
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Buy some new sunglasses. She sounds like a fruitcake.
No offense, but you really are a magnet for psycho hose beasts. Just give her your mailing address. Preferably a PO box.
Also, what is a lush? According to google it's either a heavy drinker (lol) or sexually attractive, but in your post you don't seem to mean either of those.
Anyway, maybe she's kind of weird, but I think you didn't show respect for the books. Maybe she really liked that old guy and really wanted to help him but it seemed pretty irrelevant to you. Or, she just made the whole thing up and you didn't realize it and hence she thought you were a complete idiot.
As for sunglasses, my bet is you won't get your sun glasses back. How much time has past since she told she'll mail them to you?
On the other hand, that's a nice strategy to get a second date.
send the ransom photo to homeland security - don't negotiate with terrorists
I'd text her with Bateman's line tbh
Stop with the beta , tell the you're gonna be picking up YOUR sunglasses in X hours, go and pick up the sunglasses.
That would be an option if I knew where she lived or worked.
I thought you said she lives 30 miles from you. Oh well, I thought you knew where to find her.
She lives in Denton, I live in Dallas.
Ask her if she's gonna be someplace tomorrow and go there and get the sunglasses.
^this
If she doesn't give them back call her a stupid fat and buy a new pair of sun glasses.
That's what I was referring to.
I don't see how I said anything offensive, stupid or obtuse. I "get" that she is doing something out of the kindness of her heart for the elderly guy and she would consider it crass to only do good deeds for money or if a person can only get something material in return, but I don't see how I even remotely said anything like that. Or that you would hold on tight to such an extreme misunderstanding over text/email, where it's not always easy to ferret out context or tone, and after I followed up to say that. I'm guessing either she didn't want to see me anymore romantically, which is fine, but you can be a mature adult about it instead of initiating a nasty exchange and pretending to "take offense" over something contrived and manufactured, or she is a Cluster B wackjob.Anyway, maybe she's kind of weird, but I think you didn't show respect for the books. Maybe she really liked that old guy and really wanted to help him but it seemed pretty irrelevant to you. Or, she just made the whole thing up and you didn't realize it and hence she thought you were a complete idiot.
As for sunglasses, my bet is you won't get your sun glasses back. How much time has past since she told she'll mail them to you?
This exchange happened last night and I texted her back a mailing address. I'm wondering how long I should wait until politely following up if they don't show up. I accept that they're probably gone at this point.
I like the idea of texting her and saying that I don't want to risk my glasses getting lost or damaged in the mail and I would prefer to meet briefly in a public location to do the exchange and I'm willing to meet her somewhere in Denton, and that I don't want to take up any more of her time and I just want to get this piece of business over with.
I feel like the whole tack of going beta is akin to Jesse having that sawed-off pointed in his face when he tries to retrieve the meth from that house. I'm dealing with crazy here and I'm trying to save myself $150 to replace them. She would already have been called a by now if she didn't have the Ray Bans.
Txt her a pic of your and say if you want any more of this in your mouth you're going to stop playing these ing games.
and then add an emoticon girls love those
If you deal with crazy you're going to continue to get crazy. Quit entertaining her and either talk about just getting the glasses or take your lumps and get a new pair. This "old man" that she's trying to help that just "gave" her things wouldve been a pretty big red flag to me. Why prolong it by making her feel "special" by wasting your time with her?????? Give and take, man.
Just ask her where to meet up so you can pick up your glasses. That's it, that's all. Stop tiptoeing the situation and go get your sunglasses back.
Beta was your mistake, this wants you to come get em
the books/elderly man story is a bunch of bull , too
BTW, have you talked to Wild Cobra about finding this out?
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