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Wow.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/...s=guest-voices
She was smart, funny, interesting, successful, attractive, kind, in her 40s, and still single.
After my wife Grace and I spent some time with the woman from our church, we could not fathom why no one had married her.
And, she’s not alone. For the first time in the America’s history there are more single adults than married. Statistically, the women are more likely than the men to attend college, be working a career track job, and attend church.
What are the guys doing? Often, they’re acting like boys who can shave, getting drunk, watching porn, attending sporting events, and treating responsibility like Superman does green kryptonite.
So, many women are waiting longer to marry. Eventually, some get tired of the fools parade and settle for some guy who is more likely to act like a baby than help raise a baby. These guys make the worst husbands: gambling away the money, out late with the boys a lot, unfaithful, can’t seem to fit a full-time job in around his hobbies, and eventually trading in their 40-year-old wife for two 20-year-old girlfriends.
Seeing this dismal fate and unwilling to settle or suffer, other young women just give up hope and decide it’s better to be single than sorry.
Rather than some public outrage against irresponsible addictive selfish boys who can shave, what do we have? Comedies. From inane television shows like “The Big Bang Theory” to “How I Met Your Mother” to bromance movies and pull-my-finger comedies from Seth Rogen, Andy Samberg, Zach Galifianakis and the like, we just laugh. Many men are not funny, but they are a joke.
The Atlantic (here and here), The New York Times, and The Wall Street Journal have run major stories on the changing landscape of gender in our culture. This shift is the root of many marital problems today. One of the reasons Grace and I wrote “Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together,” was to share God’s plan for men and women in the Bible regarding gender and marriage in hopes of seeing healthy marriages.
I’m a pastor, and I know this will seem crazy, but let’s put down the remote, set aside the porno, and see if maybe the Bible has any wisdom since what we are doing isn’t working.
The biblical basis for marriage starts in Genesis, when says, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (2:18). Before sin even entered the world and the feces and fan interfaced, and everything was in God’s words “very good,” (1:31) one thing was not good—a dude to be alone.
The Bible goes on to say, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
Men are like trucks: they drive straighter with a weighted load. Young men are supposed to load themselves up first by being responsible for themselves and not expecting their mom to fill up their sippy cup with beer and push them in a stroller to the unemployment line. Young men who take responsibility for themselves are then ready to marry and take responsibility for the life and joy of their wife. And, as they grow in that responsibility they are then ready to take on the additional responsibility of being a father, invested in and devoted to their child or children.
To be sure, there are some terrible women in the world. But, if you believe the statistics, men have been on the losing end of this cultural ‘evolution.’
Ladies, are you part of the problem? Are you the mom or girlfriend letting a boy who can shave live at your house eating your food and mooching off your hard work? Are you enabling some guy who is using you to live foolishly without having to suffer painfully?
Are you the girlfriend who has allowed one of these guys to be with you although there is no clarity regarding what your relationship is or direction for where it’s going?
And I would ask the men, do you want to leave a good time or a good legacy? Do you want to one day be the dirty old man alone in the strip club on Christmas, or the grandpa who loves his wife and has their children and grandchildren to their home to share in their joy? Do you have a plan to get there, or are you expecting the life fairy to take care of that for you? Would you want your sons to be like you? Would you want your daughters to marry someone like you?
Are you a fool? Was your father a fool? When will the folly stop?
Wow.
I like the dichotomy that men are either church-going family men of good morals or degenerate strip club patrons.
that chick is whiny. no wonder she can't land a dude
Hence the "Wow". Was this just for entertainment purposes or.......
lol men needing marriage. Men have never needed marriage and want it less than ever. One dude could impregnate 10 women on any given night if he was horny enough and walk away like nothing ever happened, a giant smile like a crescent on his face. That's just the facts of life, kiddos. Men will always be close to feces throwing apes in many ways because the allows it.
I like how the bible is why more men should marry. If you really wanna follow the bible, then after you marry, make sure you have several slaves who you beat if they don't obey you.
Pheeeew
Thanks God I have a penis
i ain't gettin married i'm a bad person
What the did I just read?
That 40 year-old was probably a religious nut who would vote for Santorum, so no surprise no one gave her a ring tbh.
She probably thinks Genesis told her not to suck too.
he also mentions attractive as the 5th trait (as in she's not really attractive but he felt like squeezing it in there). Methinks she has a similar physique to the god warrior from trading spouses. I also didn't read that she had a job or was financially stable at all, if you're gonna marry a gold digger you might as well find one in her 20s.
Besides, at 40 she can only have re kids like Palin.
This is the typical obnoxious, extreme black and white view that makes many Christians unbearable. This is exactly why I don't go to mainstream churches or associate with mainstream Christians.
Twas written by a man.
Proverbs 21:19
"Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife."
Proverbs 19:13
"A foolish child is a father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof."
Proverbs 25:24
"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife."
Proverbs 6:26
"For a pros ute can be had for a loaf of bread, but another man’s wife preys on your very life."
I think men benefit more from marriage than women do. Studies bear that out. It's better for a man to be married or a life-long bachelor than get divorced. Married men live longer than divorced men or life-long bachelors. I think most men would at some point rather have a family than "be alone in the strip club on Christmas Day" but if somebody wants to do the latter, it doesn't necessarily make them a bad or irresponsible person. But Driscoll conveniently forgets to mention the fact that we have a divorce rate in this country of 45-50 percent for first marriages and women initiate two-thirds of all breakups and divorces. Family courts are weighted in favor of mothers. Men have more to gain and also way more to lose by getting married. It is a huge opportunity but also a huge risk. Women, on the other hand, can simply walk away knowing that they're gonna get half of his paycheck and primary custody rights unless they have substance abuse issues or something else similar, etc....With the way things are set up now, a man needs to qualify a woman very carefully before getting married. And no matter how much qualifying you do, you never know for sure how your marriage is going to turn out. My mom probably in a million years would never have guessed that the smart, funny, good-natured guy she was marrying would 35 years later be a degenerate alcoholic. My cousin got the shock and heartbreak of his life when he discovered last summer that his wife had been carrying on an affair for a year with another man and got pregnant by him. Marrying the wrong person can end up ruining your life!!
Also, I think women as a rule are equally to blame for the decline in marriage rates and the trend of getting married later in life. Both genders are in a state of arrested development. There's a lot of reasons for that, one of the big ones being we're an affluent first-world society that makes it easier for people to delay adult responsibilities. It is unfair to only single out men. He cites the Kate Bollick article in the Atlantic to support his thesis that men are failing in their responsibilities to grow up and be adults, but my takeaway from that article is that Ms Bollick has only herself to blame for being 39 years old and a bachelorette. Yeah, there are a lot of idiot guys out there, so if you are a marriage-minded woman, that means you don't get to be too picky when a good guy comes along that wants the same things as you do. Ms Bollick FOREVER gave up her right to complain about men when she ditched the Alan guy in her article. I've been Alan myself before and I just don't have any sympathy at all for her dilemma and others like her:
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/...e-ladies/8654/
And as for Driscoll's astonishment that the woman in his church had never been married despite being attractive and a good person with lots of desirable qualities to offer a man...if that is indeed the case, then she has undoubtedly had no shortage of suitors in her life and opportunities to marry. And not all of them would have been boys in adult bodies. She's either too picky or has some sort of commitment phobia if she's smart, attractive, professional successful, and generally has her together. Otherwise there is something missing in his description of her. A woman who is not hideously ugly or obese and has basic interpersonal skills can get married if she wants to.
those were the days
that's even worse
women today suck, i can't imagine why anyone would sign their financial livelihood away to be backstabbed
don't love em, don't cuff em, don't trust em, just em
Yeah the author neglects to mention that women cheat as much as men do. Marriage in general just isn't a sacred or meaningful thing anymore, people who still think it is are living in the past.
Damn, Fin! That's brutal.
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