Why Men Need Marriage

[Viva Las Espuelas]

tuxedo rental = $150.00

[Findog]

I see, but wasn't that a male bashing article? I just recall one paragraph where he called out women. <shrugs> I thought maybe something happened in your recent endeavors. I remember you made another thread a while back, I think, about dating someone.....

I know what you mean about is it bad if a person isn't married. I get that feeling a lot from aunts, uncles, cousins and some friends. I'm getting up there and ive seen many relationships/marriages in my life to know that its not all sunshine and lollipops, which makes me wonder why they give me that feeling in the first place.

Yeah, I was in a serious relationship that was on the cusp of an engagement and she basically got cold feet and called it off. Looking back, I really believed this was the person I was meant to be with and had been looking for my whole life. Now I understand that there is no such thing as relationship security and it can end at any time no matter how well things are going. It's like, if I can't trust what I had with her, can I ever trust again? At a certain point, I would have laughed in your face and scoffed if you told me how things were going to turn out with her. I just know that at a certain point I'm going to be in a relationship again with somebody I really dig, and things are going to be going great, but there will be a doubt that never existed before. Maybe that's a good thing. One thing I've taken away is that you have to be happy with yourself before you can be in a healthy, committed relationship. Maybe it's just a once bitten, twice shy kind of deal.

[DeadlyDynasty]

Do you think that it had to be all or nothing? It sucks if your extended family was putting pressure on you, but I'm just wondering if your relationship could have been salvaged, since as you said you did love her. It's a huge, life-altering decision and I agree it makes absolutely no sense to make a 40-yard dash to the altar. I just think it would be a shame to let outside influences such as aunts and uncles nagging you affect a good thing. You say you weren't ready, but is it something you could have been ready for in a year or two? What do you think needed to change for you to be ready? Is it something you want at all, like the closer you got the more you realized that you're not sure if marriage is something you can pull off? Or did you feel like it was intimidating to take on such adult responsibilities, but you want it down the road?

Fin...the funny (or sad) thing is out of all the people putting pressure on me (my family, her family, friends, etc), she was the one who did it the least. She was great, but I was scared of becoming "immobile" for lack of a better word. It's weird, but I'll try to explain.

My entire life I've had wanderlust, and I never stay in one place too long. Since last year I've been trying to land a contract medic/rn job overseas (middle east), b/c it pays amazingly well and it would afford me the opportunity to save, pay off student loans, and travel--which is what I've wanted more than anything else. I'll be out there sometime this year, but didn't foresee it taking THIS long.

I couldn't be in a relationship where I was overseas for 11/12 months (in Riyadh, or Iraq) and away from her. As it was my jobs here had me away for days already. It wouldn't be fair to her, and my own insecurity of thinking that she'd cheat would drive me insane. Remember that older women I told you I dated in Pittsburgh? I moved out of that city because of her--didn't want to see her when she broke it off.



Long story short, I got scared that I would get chained to one place and become bitter about passing up future opportunities to do the things I've always wanted to do. Totally selfish, but that's me.

[Findog]

Fin...the funny (or sad) thing is out of all the people putting pressure on me (my family, her family, friends, etc), she was the one who did it the least. She was great, but I was scared of becoming "immobile" for lack of a better word. It's weird, but I'll try to explain.

My entire life I've had wanderlust, and I never stay in one place too long. Since last year I've been trying to land a contract medic/rn job overseas (middle east), b/c it pays amazingly well and it would afford me the opportunity to save, pay off student loans, and travel--which is what I've wanted more than anything else. I'll be out there sometime this year, but didn't foresee it taking THIS long.

I couldn't be in a relationship where I was overseas for 11/12 months (in Riyadh, or Iraq) and away from her. As it was my jobs here had me away for days already. It wouldn't be fair to her, and my own insecurity of thinking that she'd cheat would drive me insane. Remember that older women I told you I dated in Pittsburgh? I moved out of that city because of her--didn't want to see her when she broke it off.



Long story short, I got scared that I would get chained to one place and become bitter about passing up future opportunities to do the things I've always wanted to do. Totally selfish, but that's me.

I think it's totally understandable if you're not going to be in the same city as your girlfriend/fiancee/wife for 11 out of 12 months in a given year that those cir stances would lead you to conclude that you were not in a place to "settle down" and have the kind of relationship that you feel both of you deserve.

[TE]

This is complete bull .

[Engineering Major]

oh cmon dude don't play the role of the guy who puts pussy on a pedestal. it isn't flattering at all.

Spoken like a kid.

[mrsmaalox]

Interesting.....

[ChuckD]

"God gave men two heads, but only enough blood supply to run one at a time"
-Robin Williams

Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.

[The Reckoning]

umm no men arent getting married because the feminist movement made it seem like ALL men are chauvinists, and quite frankly men were fed up with it.

now we have so many forms of entertainment that we dont need wives anymore, not the opposite.

lets go ahead and let women get an education and jobs...good for them! however, somethings got to give, and most often the case that is a working relationship, especially when modern education tends to demonize white males as naturally malicious.

it. we'll stay home without kids, entertain ourselves, work hard and not have to deal with the stress that comes with raising a family because for the first time in history, we dont have to.

[FkLA]

Some of yall sound just as bad as the bitter old woman in the article tbh. There are alot of worthless s out there but there are also some good women, you just have to take the time. Too many nlggas make the mistake of of rushing , I see too many people my age wanting to move in with their girl within months of dating or wanting to marry/have kids within a year or so. Most of these nlggas arent financially stable either. I think when you go about like that, then you cant really complain when a couple of years later youre divorced and paying child support.

$$$+5 yrs dating (minimum)=succesful marriage the majority of the time imo

[m>s]

marriage is a lopsided deal and if you are a guy and married, you must be a re . maybe there IS true love in the world, however if you still haven't found it in your early 30s the chance is your probably never gonna get any of it. just be a MF'N CELIBATE and enjoy your life findawg

don't like em dont trust em, just " " them all

[FkLA]

With all of you men out there who think that having a thousand different ladies is pretty cool, I have learned in my life I've found out that having one woman a thousand different times is much more satisfying.- Wilt the Stilt

not trying to be beta but wilt speaks the truth imo

[ChuckD]

With all of you men out there who think that having a thousand different ladies is pretty cool, I have learned in my life I've found out that having one woman a thousand different times is much more satisfying.- Wilt the Stilt

not trying to be beta but wilt speaks the truth imo

Is this the same Wilt that allegedly ed 10,000 women? Not a very good person to make your case for settling down.

[tp2021]

Is this the same Wilt that allegedly ed 10,000 women? Not a very good person to make your case for settling down.

I would argue the OPPOSITE since he's one man we can trust has actually seen both sides of the coin!

[spursfan09]

I think Marraige is just a commitment, and too many people just care about themselves and only themselves. There's nothing wrong with that IMO, but if you get married, you are responsible for the other person well being. So I think it's better to recognize that marriage isn't for you then to go through with one.

[Findog]

Damn, Fin! Now that's crazy. Two kids with two separate dudes and only one known dad would've had me out of there. I can't imagine how he felt when he found that diary. I'd have definitely seen red. I hope he didn't hang on to her much longer after that. I'd have gotten my kid then gotten out of it as soon as possible.

He immediately initiated divorce proceedings when he found out what she was up to. Turns out she has substance abuse issues, so he has primary physical custody. I'm not even sure she gets supervised visitation. You have to be one messed up to not get primary physical custody.

[Viva Las Espuelas]

He immediately initiated divorce proceedings when he found out what she was up to. Turns out she has substance abuse issues, so he has primary physical custody. I'm not even sure she gets supervised visitation. You have to be one messed up to not get primary physical custody.

He struck gold!