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  1. #1
    NostraSpurMus phxspurfan's Avatar
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    I just learned this from Facebook. We all saw the signs over a year ago. She stopped talking to us and showing up at events. She left a great job mysteriously. She gained weight inexplicably. Now this.

    A completely avoidable and unnecessary tragedy just happened. My friends and I were all partially to blame if you ask me. If you see a friend that is obviously depressed or in need, reach out to them. A simple call can save a life. Damn, I'm sorry.


    If you know someone who is hurting or depressed, reach out to them now before it's too late. There's too much random bad stuff that can happen in this world to let dear friends go for no good reason.

  2. #2
    Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Viva Las Espuelas's Avatar
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    Sorry for your loss, Phx. I can't imagine how I'd be if a close friend did that.

  3. #3
    Master of Information Dr. Gonzo's Avatar
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    that sucks

  4. #4
    Master of Information Dr. Gonzo's Avatar
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    You can't blame yourself though. She obviously needed more help than any family or friends would have been able to give.

  5. #5
    I heart 2Blonde PakiDan's Avatar
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    a house.
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    Sorry for your loss...

  6. #6
    NostraSpurMus phxspurfan's Avatar
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    Thanks. She wasn't a close friend, but a friend nonetheless. I'm just sad that this lesson for me personally had to come at such a price.

    Kind of like a post I saw on thsi board last year about somebody who lost relative to illness, and asked everyone to make sure they treat their loved ones like they may not see them again someday. I really took that post to heart and am glad I spent a ton of time with my family last year (who are all living and well). But I definitely needed a kick in the rear to pick up the phone / travel out there and do it.

    Be it reaching out to a friend or family member, do it now. You won't regret it.

  7. #7
    Goodwill Ambassador spurs_fan_in_exile's Avatar
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    Sorry for your loss, phxspurfan. As was said above you really shouldn't blame yourself. I nearly killed myself years ago and in dealing with the aftermath (and talking with others who had been there too) one of the toughest things to see was how much the people around me blamed themselves for not seeing it coming. A big part of the downward spiral is how hard a depressed person busts their ass to keep those around them from thinking anything is wrong. Looking back if I had just put half as much energy into solving my problems as I put into convincing everyone around me that I was fine who knows how much easier it all might have been. It's exhausting and that exhaustion just pushes you deeper down.

    I can't pretend to know exactly what your friend was going through, but as DG said above they might have been well beyond your help for a while by the time it happened. You advice is a great truth and I hope everyone takes it to heart: if you ever think someone might be hurting then reaching out to them is always the right thing to do.

  8. #8
    Banned CubanSucks's Avatar
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    why the are you posting this? So everyone tells you how it's not your fault? Lame. If someone close to me died, and especially suicide, the LAST place I'd go for comfort is a ing website.

  9. #9
    Banned
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    why the are you posting this? So everyone tells you how it's not your fault? Lame. If someone close to me died, and especially suicide, the LAST place I'd go for comfort is a ing website.
    Keep mopping up , got.

  10. #10
    A neverending cycle Trainwreck2100's Avatar
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    where did she put it?
    women rarely shoot themselves

  11. #11
    #FreeGiuseppe BlackSwordsMan's Avatar
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    how'd she do it?

  12. #12
    A neverending cycle Trainwreck2100's Avatar
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    if i had to guess i'd say pills or slicey dicey

  13. #13
    Banned CubanSucks's Avatar
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    car running in the garage

    trying to stay a little original

  14. #14
    <><><><><><> ALVAREZ6's Avatar
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    I can't pretend to know exactly what your friend was going through, but as DG said above they might have been well beyond your help for a while by the time it happened. You advice is a great truth and I hope everyone takes it to heart: if you ever think someone might be hurting then reaching out to them is always the right thing to do.
    why the are you posting this? So everyone tells you how it's not your fault? Lame. If someone close to me died, and especially suicide, the LAST place I'd go for comfort is a ing website.
    Seems quite contradictory of me, but I agree with both of these posts tbh. You shouldn't blame yourself, and reaching out even when in doubt is never a bad idea. But I would never post on a message board about the loss of someone close to me.

  15. #15
    5 Bill_Brasky's Avatar
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    Did she drop any good loot?
    Last edited by Bill_Brasky; 01-28-2012 at 12:12 AM.

  16. #16
    A neverending cycle Trainwreck2100's Avatar
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    car running in the garage

    trying to stay a little original
    only if her car didn't have a cad converter

  17. #17
    All Hail the Legatron The Reckoning's Avatar
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    Did she drop any good loot?

  18. #18
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
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    I just learned this from Facebook. We all saw the signs over a year ago. She stopped talking to us and showing up at events. She left a great job mysteriously. She gained weight inexplicably. Now this.

    A completely avoidable and unnecessary tragedy just happened. My friends and I were all partially to blame if you ask me. If you see a friend that is obviously depressed or in need, reach out to them. A simple call can save a life. Damn, I'm sorry.


    If you know someone who is hurting or depressed, reach out to them now before it's too late. There's too much random bad stuff that can happen in this world to let dear friends go for no good reason.
    Sorry to hear it...I found out around this past X-mas that one of my ex girlfriends killed herself...she was married and apparently was having issues with her husband...Her mom sent me an FB message letting me know. It was sad because I think her mom is partially to blame because she opposed her daughter seeing me because I'm black..we eventually ended the relationship because she couldn't deal with the non support of her family...I didn't trip about it too long...but ironically she gets with this white guy and now she's dead...Had she stayed with me she WOULD still be alive..her mom apologized to me because deep inside she knows it..she killed her own kid imo...a sad lesson to be learned because of her own racial bias...what a waste of a beautiful woman...

  19. #19
    Banned
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    No one would date your dumb ###### ass.

  20. #20
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
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    No one would date your dumb ###### ass.
    i thought so too

  21. #21
    Veteran Proxy's Avatar
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    If someone is depressed enough to override their evolutionary instinct and human sense to keep living, then they are too deep for you to do anything. You can't give someone happiness if they aren't happy with themselves. You can only find it within yourself to be truly happy. Happiness from dependence is a facade. They only thing you could've possible done, was to make her see that.

  22. #22
    I cannot grok its fullnes leemajors's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear it...I found out around this past X-mas that one of my ex girlfriends killed herself...she was married and apparently was having issues with her husband...Her mom sent me an FB message letting me know. It was sad because I think her mom is partially to blame because she opposed her daughter seeing me because I'm black..we eventually ended the relationship because she couldn't deal with the non support of her family...I didn't trip about it too long...but ironically she gets with this white guy and now she's dead...Had she stayed with me she WOULD still be alive..her mom apologized to me because deep inside she knows it..she killed her own kid imo...a sad lesson to be learned because of her own racial bias...what a waste of a beautiful woman...
    i like how you made this about you.

  23. #23
    Knowledge Is Hassle Fpoonsie's Avatar
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    Did she drop any good loot?

  24. #24
    The Timeless One Leetonidas's Avatar
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    How can anyone be talking to this guy? A friend of his offed themselves, show some respect guys. Koolaids is a but I don't want the guy to kill himself, 's not a joke.

    My best friend shot himself in the face with a shotgun two years ago on 2/22. It's hard to cope but it's true what they say, time heals all wounds. Instead of focusing on what I could've done or blaming myself I just think back on all the awesome times we had and try to focus and always dwell on the good, not the bad. Because no amount of beating yourself up is gonna change it, it just takes time.

  25. #25
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
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    How can anyone be talking to this guy? A friend of his offed themselves, show some respect guys. Koolaids is a but I don't want the guy to kill himself, 's not a joke.

    My best friend shot himself in the face with a shotgun two years ago on 2/22. It's hard to cope but it's true what they say, time heals all wounds. Instead of focusing on what I could've done or blaming myself I just think back on all the awesome times we had and try to focus and always dwell on the good, not the bad. Because no amount of beating yourself up is gonna change it, it just takes time.
    you know Leets calling me a pushes me closer to the edge..you don't want that on your conscience do you...

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