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I want the Folgers can + ocean + windy day option.
I want the Folgers can + ocean + windy day option.
I want to put fun back in funerals.
And I'd wake up from my death to slap you with your stupid hair, then bury it in your under area, and tape your man boob over it!
either shoot my body off into space to be worked on by aliens
or cremate me and send me off into the ocean as fish food.
depends how much $ i can fish out of hemann's pockets.
Last edited by The Reckoning; 02-20-2012 at 01:08 AM.
Just because I have (unfortunately) had some recent experience with this subject....
My father passed away less than a month ago. He was terminally ill with cancer, and specifically requested to be cremated. He also made it known that he didn't want a whole lot of doom and gloom about his death; he didn't want people people grieving and mourning over him. He was a very humble man.
We had a nice service for him at a funeral home, which mostly consisted of a pastor speaking (my Dad wasn't greatly religious, but he was a Christian man), a slideshow of pictures that I put together, a few speakers (one of his colleagues, my brother, and myself), and after a few more words from the pastor, it ended with one of his favorite songs. My Dad always wore Hawaiian shirts, so that's what we all wore in remembrance of him instead of going the whole all black route. It was short, bittersweet, and comforting for all in attendance. After the service, we all went back to my parents house and had one last party in his honor...a celebration of his life, instead of a mourning of his death, as he would've wanted.
Personally, I was cursed with the knowledge that my father would be dying for the past year and a half. In my mind, the one thing that kept haunting me was thinking of him, all made up and laying in a casket. I had to force myself not to think about it. I just couldn't bare to see him like that. I was unaware that he had requested cremation, but I am grateful that I never had to face that moment. That day, and its memory, was much easier to get through when all I had to see were pictures of my dad smiling and laughing, how I remember him and prefer to always remember him. Plus I was able to get a keepsake with his ashes, which I can take with me forever, instead of having some grave somewhere that I would always feel the need to come and visit and care for. For that reason alone, I will go the same route. I don't want my loved ones, my kids, etc...to one day have to sit and stare upon my corpse.
On another note, being cremated also saved my mother a lot of money. His entire service was about $3500, which was less than my grandmother's casket cost alone. If you do the standard burial, after you pay for the casket, the lot, the burial, the service...you are easily looking at over 10 grand just to put you in the ground. Not a burden I would want to leave on my family, and even if you've got life insurance to cover it, I'm sure that money could be applied to much better means. In the eternal words of Walter, "just because we're bereaved doesn't make us saps!"
Last edited by Dex; 02-20-2012 at 02:20 AM.
Sorry about your father. Sounds like a wonderful service you had for him.
I bet there were black surgeons there too!
What does black have to do with it?
Last words:::
- "Let me die in my old uniform. God forgive me for ever having put on another."
- Benedict Arnold
------
- "I must go in, the fog is rising."
- Emily inson
------
- "Thomas Jefferson still survives."
- John Adams - U.S. President
Shut the up, Dale.
I am very sorry for your loss and am glad that you were able to fulfill your father's wishes.
Do you mind my asking how you might have felt had his request been the opposite? What if the person wants a large church service and a big funeral procession?
In big Catholic family tradition, we sort of have both. There is always a church service with a vigil, the Mass, and the graveside service... But then there is always afterward a large gathering that turns into laughter and celebration.
lame trolling on this forum is lame
I'm gonna be cremated.
Yep, that's how we do it. Burying my mother was the hardest thing to do, I didn't think I would ever get through it. But it's true what they say, family and friends get you through the rough moments in your life. That, and time.
On a totally different related note, aren't people suppose to bring US food when someone passes away? It's a good thing we catered, otherwise we wouldn't have eaten.
You need new friends, JudyYep, that's how we do it. Burying my mother was the hardest thing to do, I didn't think I would ever get through it. But it's true what they say, family and friends get you through the rough moments in your life. That, and time.
On a totally different related note, aren't people suppose to bring US food when someone passes away? It's a good thing we catered, otherwise we wouldn't have eaten.
Don't get me wrong, a "few" people brought dishes, but by the time we got back to my mom's house, almost all the food was gone. The ?You need new friends, Judy
Oh well, it was all for my mom.
Shame on your mom's friendsDon't get me wrong, a "few" people brought dishes, but by the time we got back to my mom's house, almost all the food was gone. The ?
Oh well, it was all for my mom.
Yeah, we always chow down after a funeral.
For my mom's services in October, we did the traditional Catholic thing too, because that is what my father wanted. My parents had burial insurance, but hadn't made any actual plans, so it all came about at the most difficult time, the day after her death. My brother and I would have probably opted for something a bit simpler but we honored my dad's wishes and it was pretty heavy on the rituals. As far as cost went, I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised; my dad went what I would call "upscale" and after his insurance ($5000) he paid about $1500 out of pocket---I know it's all relative to each family, but it's what he wanted and afforded it easily, I never felt that we were being gouged or steered out of our range.
I was worried that the rituals would be a bit much, but again, it was what Dad wanted (or I should say "needed"). The open casket was not an issue for me---I don't know about others, but I was never "forced" to stare at a corpse, and if anyone else felt that way, it was of their own mind because we certainly didn't expect it of anyone.
And as Judy said, its the friends and family that gets you thru. I am still overcome with warmth and emotion when I think of the family and friends who dropped $1000 each to fly in that week or those who drove all night to be there with us, neighbors who fed us for the entire week, and my brother's old high school friends who cleaned the house for us and got ready for guests, and the TONS (Judy) of food and drinks that were provided for the weekend long get together that we ended up having.
The hardest part is that without prior arrangements it's really tough to have to plan things like that at such a rotten time----pre planning is definitely a gift to your family. The tributes from friends added so much, we ended up with a musical tribute, a video tribute, poetry readings, a bagpipe (Amazing Grace) tribute, release of a flock of doves, and even high school football game dedicated to her memory with all the players wearing my Mom's initials on their helmets----all things that were lovely but we would have never thought of on our own under those cir stances but that thoughtful individuals were motivated to contribute and for which I am eternally greatful.
i wanna be buried in the political forum.
When my sister died she was immediately cremated. Then we set a date about a month later for the "service". This allowed out of town guests (she had friends all across the country) to get reasonably priced airfare. I rented a church (right across the street from my house) including their parking lot, sanctuary, party/wedding room, etc. for the day.
We had about 150 people there...we did a non-religious "celebration of Liz" day, I MC'd it...all we talked about was good things and funny memories...had several of her friends speak about their memories with her...took about 30 minutes "upstairs"
Then went "downstairs"...I had done a bunch of BBQ (smoked beef tenderloin, smoked lamb, and BBQ chicken) and the rest of the meal was catered...had a slide show set to music of pictures of her over her life running while everyone ate...
Then let the old folks leave and moved the party with her friends and my sisters etc. to my house where I had tables set up under the oak trees (it was spring) and had a bar, beer, cases of wine, etc. ready...let the caterer/cleaning people i had hired clean up and pack up at the church...
I had done some really nice "photo books" of some of my sisters photography (she was an amateur photographer and had done several photo safaris/world trips) and gave those out to her friends...
A lot of wine and good memories were shared and everyone gradually drifted off as it got dark...
I thought it was by far the coolest "funeral" i'd ever been to...
i'm gonna have cc take care of my arrangements.
We would've honored my father's wishes, whatever they might have been, regardless of cost or our own personal opinions about them.
Personally, I would've made it through, but I feel like I would've had a lot harder time doing so. I've never been a big fan of open casket affairs, and I think that seeing my father lying there like that would've been a bit overwhelming. It's a sight that I'm glad I won't have burned in my memory going forward...seeing him deteriorate over the past few months and watching him pass in the hospital was quite enough. He was the type of guy where I don't think he wanted people sitting and looking at him in that state either.
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