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This is something ducks would write.
This was a good read...
IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE SPURS, YOU’RE A WALL-EYED MORON.
There’s a stench on the San Antonio Spurs, a kind of ruffled-nose funk that usually follows a condo hallway full of Chinese food or two kids making out on the train. Mention watching Spurs basketball and people will make faces or leave the room; mention being a fan and they’ll do both. That San Antonio is the best team in the NBA right now, when they shouldn’t be, and reign as the finest sports franchise since the Canadiens of the 1970s, doesn’t count for . They’re the Spurs, the one unwatchable team in the NBA, the embodiment of athletic homework whose coach wears wide-wale corduroys and whose stars are a Frenchman, a flopper, and a nerd in league with metalhead database administrators. But all the arguments against the Spurs are wrong.
Let’s examine the two basic ones:
Their players are boring.
Everyone hates Tony Parker, Manu Ginobli, and Tim Duncan; everybody is also wrong. Let’s start with Duncan, oft criticized for being boring as both on and off the court and for having a Merlin tattoo. While he does indeed have said tattoo, and it looks like his sister cuts his hair once a month in the garage, calling him boring is missing the point. There’s the depressing fact that all NBA players are kind of dweebs; he just owns it. And there’s the incredibly impressive fact that a giant, outsized nerd also happens to be the best player of his generation and wears skeleton sneakers. People with Duncan’s interests—stamp collecting, Semaphore code, COBOL—are generally not elite athletes, and yet to call Duncan elite would be an understatement. He’s the best player to ever play his position, period. Yes, Duncan looks more bored than an IT guy and has a reputation for being a crybaby, but what do you expect? He started playing basketball because the only pool in his country was hit by lightning and he was afraid of sharks. He doesn’t want to be doing this. Like his T-shirt says, he’d rather be playing Diablo.
Duncan, of course, joins the rest of the NBA in not being nearly as cool as Parker. With all due respect to LeBron James and his entry-level J Crew wardrobe, or Kevin Garnett’s awe-inspiring sweater vest collection, or, reaching deeper, Nick Young’s swaggy style (American Eagle Outfitters in smedium, mostly), Tony Parker is the elite player, the athletic specimen, the snappier dresser and the cool mother er. He’s not as tall as most of the NBA, which helps, and he’s also a fast-as- champion, millionaire French playboy. Christ, what more do you want? Parker, lest we forget, was married to a TV star seven years older than him, and convinced her to move to South Texas(!), and yet he still found time to get nude with one of his teammates’ wives. As you read this, he’s wearing a Le Coq Sportif sweatsuit and eating a $400 hamburger with your sister. And if you think he’s not American enough, he lives in Texas. Where do you live, comrade?
As for the rest of the team, Matt Bonner is the best three-point shooter in the NBA and has red hair; Stephen Jackson’s backstory is as impressive as anyone in sports; Boris Diaw makes millions of dollars playing sports despite being ing fat.
I’m sick of the Spurs.
Wah, wah, I’m sick of hearing about a bank-shot shooting, corner-three making, transition-D, slow-ass team, you might say. To which I respond, better the Spurs than the Knicks or the Heat. Leaving aside the thorny issue of ESPN’s Heat Index—no one outside Dade County needs to read daily updates about Mike Miller—San Antonio is a team worth infinitely reading about. There are the cool dudes on the team (see above), there’s the team’s stretching success, and their incredible transition to uptempo basketball. What do the Knicks have? A history of failing incompetence so strong that a solitary playoff win is considered success. The NBA defensive player of the year who can’t even make first-team all defense; Carmelo Anthony in general. The Spurs, on the other hand, are somehow a young team with an insane offense, three old stars and a No. 1 seed, and have been in the championship conversation pretty much every year since the Monica Lewinsky scandal. The press has nothing to do with rooting allegiances; it’s just that the franchise is ing impressive.
Look, the Spurs aren’t as exciting on paper as the Thunder; I get that. Kevin Durant is a bad mother er and Russell Westbrook is shockingly getting to that level. Still, the Spurs don’t deserve their rough reputation among moron half-awake check-in basketball fans. They are the NBA’s model franchise, the most consistently winning team, and now its most impressively updated. While it’s a bit of a stretch to say if you don’t enjoy the Spurs, you don’t enjoy basketball, it’s totally true that if you don’t like the Spurs, you’re either from Houston, Dallas or a wall-eyed moron. In an age where few teams’ nuclei stay together and fewer remain great, San Antonio is doing something special. If you don’t appreciate that, you’re a little “special” yourself.
By Sam Reiss
http://www.vice.com/read/ -you-the-spurs-are-great
This is something ducks would write.
This is funny as .
Lmao at the headline.
this was awesome.
Not used to reading "published" articles with bad language. Don't feel it added to the piece tbh. I get this is for an adult audience, but I generally think the use of such words, except in exceptional cir stances, demonstrates a lack of vocabulary, lack of creativity, or lack of confidence (someone is trying to get street cred or whatever).
In any case, serious TP love, which so far this playoffs, is warranted. Manu has not figured as strongly in the production of the team so far, although to reach our "ceiling," we need Manu playing how he did pre-mid april.
Also, he is wrong that the only haters are in north texas; lots of haters here in Cally, i assure you. I am sure there are haters in every city that SA stomped during the playoffs over the last 13 years; Cleveland, NJ, Phoenix, Denver, Utah...the list goes on and on.
America.. yea.
By the way, I never really understood what "wally-eye(d)" meant ( le [sic] "wall-eyed")
Urban-dictionary: means lazy eye.
Meh. They're going for "edgy." With emphasis on putting "edgy" in quotes.
The goal is to go to people obsessed with how cool they are and convince them that they aren't cool unless they like the Spurs. Given that those are exactly the kind of trend-chasing jackasses who can't be bothered to watch the Spurs in tne first place, it seems like a good match, tbh.
Last edited by tesseractive; 05-26-2012 at 12:41 PM.
Y'all are taking this too seriously.
Isn't this some dude who posts/used to post here? Whoever it is, the article sucks, I agree the cursing takes away from the content, which isn't very good either. "Duncan plays basketball because the only pool in his country got struck by lightening and he's afraid of sharks"?ing dumb. I agree partially with a poster above, this is worse than an article that ducks would write. Just bad. I hop this guy isn't a strictly spurs writer/fan because if so, he makes spurs fans look bad. He also doesn't accomplish his goal of making the spurs a team that people should like, quite the opposite actually.
Good in job Sam
Oh come on ... it wasn't that bad! I think you're taking this a little too seriously.Isn't this some dude who posts/used to post here? Whoever it is, the article sucks, I agree the cursing takes away from the content, which isn't very good either. "Duncan plays basketball because the only pool in his country got struck by lightening and he's afraid of sharks"?
Good in job Sam
Last edited by howbouthemspurs; 05-26-2012 at 11:59 PM.
Taking what too seriously? I think it's a terrible article and makes the guy sound like a and he definitely doesn't help the "you should watch and like the spurs" argument.
Adande on watching and accepting the Spurs:
The problem is, they're a PBS do entary and we're a nation that's addicted to shows about the Kardashians.
So meet the Kardashians.
Pretty funny article for Spurs fans.
While the delivery isn't going to sway anyone's contrary opinions, the basic point is still sound. Anybody saying the Spurs are boring either don't watch them or are media zombies who don't formulate opinions of their own.
Spurs were called boring because they were a defensive team that funneled most of their offense through the post. In other words, they were very slow and the games were low scoring. It's the exact opposite now, and the Spurs playing the prettiest and most unstoppable offensive basketball. Boring doesn't apply anymore, yet that catchphrase is still spat out by haters (yeah I said it) because they have no legitimate argument against the team anymore. They just want to bemoan them and can't do so by saying they aren't successful or aren't good. So said haters continue to claim they're boring despite that not being the case anymore.
They simply have nothing else to say, so they fall back to their magical pony land comment that used to be their ace up the sleeve when the Spurs were winning. The fact that it doesn't apply anymore yet it's still be said let's us all know that society is collectively mad that the Spurs are still winning. So mad they can't think straight anymore.
Last edited by Kidd K; 05-26-2012 at 06:27 PM.
yeah this guy is pretty dumb
lol
That sucked.
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