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  1. #1
    俺はまんこが大好きなんだよ baseline bum's Avatar
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    Kobe Bryant, after Lakers lose to Magic: ‘I’ll kick everybody’s ass in this locker room’ if we don’t fix things

    The Los Angeles Lakers' Jekyll and Hyde act continued apace over the weekend, with a Friday night blitzing (17 3-pointers, 54 percent shooting, a 28-and-20 performance by Dwight Howard and 122 points) of the Denver Nuggets giving way to a Sunday night stumble against an Orlando Magic team that entered Staples Center at 5-10, losers of three straight and five of its last seven. But in the two teams' first meeting following the four-team, 12-player offseason blockbuster that sent Howard from central Florida to Hollywood, the Magic hung with a Laker side that's experienced its share of turmoil this season, too, and pulled away with a 35-19 burst over the game's final seven minutes.

    The loss drops the Lakers to 8-9, a below-.500 mark that seems stunning given both the collection of talent on hand and the statistical note that L.A.'s got a top-five offense and a top-10 defense in terms of points scored and allowed per 100 possessions, according to NBA.com's stat tool. The win-loss-win-loss trading, the alternating progress and regression on display every night, has been somewhat understandable — after all, the team has had three different head coaches in the space of a month and has been without injured star point guard Steve Nash, expected to be the triggerman first for Mike Brown's new-look Princeton offense and now for the spread pick-and-roll system he ran under Mike D'Antoni for years in Phoenix, for all but 50 minutes this season. Still, explanations aside, this is hardly the way most figured the Lakers would look one-fifth of the way through the 2012-13 season.

    As the losses mount — the Lakers would have to go 65-0 to fulfill Metta World Peace's preseason wish, which seems unlikely — patience is wearing thin, not only within the Lakers' fan base (which, as we've seen, can be pretty intense) but also within the ultra-compe ive mind of L.A.'s top dog. From Joe McDonnell of FoxSports.com:

    Kobe Bryant had seen enough.

    Another humiliating loss to another bad team Sunday night had the Lakers co-captain ready to take on the whole team if his teammates don't start getting their games — and at udes — together.

    "I'll kick everybody's ass in this locker room if it doesn't happen," Bryant said after a 113-103 loss to the Orlando Magic at Staples Center. Yes, the 6-10 Orlando Magic. "It's the at ude you have to have. Metta is the same way. Dwight has it in him as well. Even though he smiles a lot, he cares a lot about this. Come or high water, this has to get done."

    This seems to be the general consensus around the Lakers — all hands on deck, we're surrounded, wins need to be strung together like popcorn for a Christmas tree and whatever must transpire for those wins to start coming needs to happen, like, yesterday.

    Lakers fans surely appreciate hearing those words from Bryant, but would probably much rather hear them from charity-averse center Howard (9 for 21 from the free-throw line against Orlando, including 7 for 14 during L.A.'s fourth-quarter collapse, a career-worst 46.5 percent on the season) or, even better, from out-of-sorts big man Pau Gasol (11 points on 4-for-11 shooting against the Magic, sadly stuffed at the rim by earthbound-and-down Orlando counterpart Glen Davis, playing the least productive basketball of his NBA life) than from a version of Kobe who's playing perhaps the most efficient ball of his career while serving as the Lakers' primary scorer and facilitator in Nash's absence.

    Pau Gasol, once again far from the flow of the game. (Getty Images)In his postgame comments, Bryant discussed the 32-year-old Spaniard's need to restructure his offensive game to better fit into both the twin-towers lineups in which he finds himself with Howard and the uptempo spread screen-and-roll system D'Antoni favors. And when I say "discussed," I mean "spit some venom." More from McDonnell:

    "Pau has to make some adjustments, obviously, to his game. He might not be posting up as much as he likes, but he just has to adjust.

    "The reality is, I've adjusted. I've never run this many screen-and-rolls in my entire life. But I've worked on it. I've worked on handling the ball; worked on coming off screens and making plays. I'm used to being in the post much, much more. You have to adjust; you have to master what it is we're trying to do here. Pau's talented enough and good enough to be able to do that." [...]

    "Put your big-boy pants on," Kobe said with a trace of disgust in his voice. "C'mon ... just adjust. You can't whine about it or complain about it. Heck, I'm 34 years old, and I'm running screen-and-rolls out there because Steve is out, and my ass is running up and down the court more than I ever have in my entire career. But you have to adjust to it."

    The "big-boy pants" will get the most attention, but the larger points — that, for one thing, if Bryant can alter his game, sacrifice shots (while Kobe's still leading the league in field-goal attempts, he's taking about 3 1/2 fewer per 36 minutes than he did last year, and firing less frequently than he has since the 2004-05 season) and roll with the punches, then everyone must, and for another, Bryant knows a Lakers team for which Gasol is an average-at-best offensive performer who's halfhearted and half-speed on the defensive end is a Lakers team not destined to go very far in a compe ive Western Conference — are the ones that actually matter. Whether Gasol will hear the message Bryant conveyed beneath the abrasive tone remains to be seen, but if he doesn't, and if he doesn't get up to par in a hurry, knee tendinitis or not, L.A.'s struggles seem poised to continue.

    The other, larger issue, though? That's the same as it was under Brown — the defense. They might own the league's ninth-best defensive efficiency this morning, but the Lakers allowed the Magic to score at rate of 111.9 points per 100 possessions on Sunday night. On the season, Orlando has been one of the NBA's three most offensively challenged teams; on Sunday, it scored at a clip that would make the New York Knicks, Miami Heat and Oklahoma City Thunder jealous.


    Nikola Vucevic dunks as Dwight Howard watches. This happened a lot in the fourth quarter. (Getty Images)

    This was especially true during a 40-point fourth quarter in which the Magic tandem of Davis and second-year center Nikola Vucevic regularly roasted the interior defense of Howard, Gasol and Antawn Jamison, hitting 8 of 10 shots and combining for 20 points and eight rebounds in the quarter. Things weren't much better on the perimeter, where the Lakers' guards could not handle the penetration and distribution of Jameer Nelson and J.J. Re , who combined for 12 assists and zero turnovers in the final frame; in all, the Magic shot 14 for 21 from the floor in the fourth, and 13 of those buckets came off dimes. Orlando just destroyed L.A. in that final quarter, and it had less to do with missed free throws or pouting about post-ups than a total inability to even get in the way of the opposition.

    Yes, more familiarity with D'Antoni's system should help. Yes, the return of Nash from injury (which we learned Sunday is still 10 days to two weeks away) will help the Lakers get closer to establishing a cohesive offensive iden y, ease Bryant's responsibilities a bit and (probably) help make both Howard and Gasol more dangerous and versatile offensive weapons. And yes, any roster move that reads, "Replace Darius Morris and Chris Duhon with Steve Nash and Steve Blake" is a pretty good move that will likely add more than a few wins over the coure of an 82-game schedule. But none of that solves the defensive problem, and that's what should concern Lakers fans most right now.

    With Nash a relative sieve on the ball defensively, Bryant a step slower and less equipped to handle speedy opponents than he was in the post, World Peace an all-world defender more in reputation than in fact at this point and players like Gasol and Jamison not near the top of anybody's list of defensive frontcourt stalwarts, the onus for shaping the Lakers into a defensive team capable of slowing opponents enough to outscore them was always going to fall in the lap of a recovering-from-back-surgery Howard; the plan was always for him to be able to protect the rim, dominate opposing post scorers, gobble up pick-and-rolls up top and recover in time to clean up everybody else's messes. Even with Howard clearly still not 100 percent, the plan has, at times, worked. But it also, more often than not, has not, as it didn't on Sunday night.

    Promises of locker-room ass-kickings, fun though they are, don't deter perimeter penetration or keep opposing big men from establishing post position and attacking the glass. In the absence of an alternative plan, until Howard starts moving like he did two years ago, it — and the Lakers writ large — will probably continue to be as hit-or-miss a proposition as they've been thus far. On the plus side, that'll offer plenty of opportunities for neat postgame quotes like this; on the minus side, it'll probably mean that we're having very similar conversations about the Lakers this time next month, too.

  2. #2
    Board Man Comes Home Clipper Nation's Avatar
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    Shirking responsibility the beta way, tbh....

  3. #3
    Got Woke? DMC's Avatar
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    So are the Lakers going to be fined for not playing their big 3?

  4. #4
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
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    So are the Lakers going to be fined for not playing their big 3?
    Kobe is such an ass hole...and I LOVE IT

    "I'll kick everybody's ass in this locker room if it doesn't happen," Bryant said after a 113-103 loss to the Orlando Magic at Staples Center. Yes, the 6-10 Orlando Magic. "It's the at ude you have to have. Metta is the same way. Dwight has it in him as well. Even though he smiles a lot, he cares a lot about this. Come or high water, this has to get done."

  5. #5
    Got Woke? DMC's Avatar
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    Kobe is such an ass hole...and I LOVE IT
    We love it too when your adopted troll team loses. Keep it up.

  6. #6
    Believe.
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    They switched coaches 7 games in and their PG play is *still* bad. It very well may be hubris because if they get their together, they do have a lot of talent. We beat Pringles but those WCF were more compe ive than the NBAF. Those NBAF were hotly contested as well which raises that bar. He has it in him to exploit talent.

    If Howard can make over 50% of his free throws then it shouldn't be effective because giving up 50% shooting sucks. It's more psychological than anything but giving up 50% shooting leading into crunch time is not going to win you a lot of games. 1 point a possession should be 1 point a possession.

  7. #7
    Allenhu Joshbar DeadlyDynasty's Avatar
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    This will work for some players. For others, like Pau, they only respond to positive reinforcement and coddling.

  8. #8
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
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    This will work for some players. For others, like Pau, they only respond to positive reinforcement and coddling.
    I fully expect Mitch to be sharpening his sword to build Pau up...I mean make a case to DANtoni to feature Pau as the #1 option...we'll then get good in LALALALA land only to sell that got out before the trade deadline....the is chess not checkers

  9. #9
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
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    we gonna somebody in the Pau trade so the other NBA teams might as well stand-in line and drop their britches...it's coming and we all know it

  10. #10
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
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    BOHICA...

    B
    end

    Over

    Here

    It

    Comes

    Again

  11. #11
    SeaGOAT midnightpulp's Avatar
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    we gonna somebody in the Pau trade so the other NBA teams might as well stand-in line and drop their britches...it's coming and we all know it
    Spent 9 figures on payroll and still need to make trades

    Mitch is a daggum genius, I tell you what.

  12. #12
    Believe. Bruce Wayne's Avatar
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    Just stealing another page out of MJ's book. It's sad really how someone of Kobe's stature feels the need to be so pretentious.

  13. #13
    Bernoullin' niggas! BUMP's Avatar
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    saying he'll kick everyone's ass except for Dwight and Metta who "have it in them"

  14. #14
    Allenhu Joshbar DeadlyDynasty's Avatar
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    ^
    Cause he's a smart businessman. He needs Dwight to re-sign, and MWP is certifiably insane. The rest of his teammates are expendable.

  15. #15
    Veteran LkrFan's Avatar
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    The NBA Forum should be changed to the Laker Forum, tbh. I just counted 23 Laker-related, or Laker-inspired threads. This is just on the FIRST PAGE. Obsessed much Spur Fans?

    Back on topic though. Kobe is an Alpha Dog. Even when we kicked Denver's teeth in, he was talking about bringing them back to reality. Go back about 8 years when he decided that Shaq's LA lease was up. What does he do to the "MDE?" Exiled him. Then he went on to win another 2 rings without the MDE.

    It will be a sad day in Lakerdom when this dude finally hangs them up.

  16. #16
    Allenhu Joshbar DeadlyDynasty's Avatar
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    The NBA Forum should be changed to the Laker Forum, tbh. I just counted 23 Laker-related, or Laker-inspired threads. This is just on the FIRST PAGE. Obsessed much Spur Fans?

    Back on topic though. Kobe is an Alpha Dog. Even when we kicked Denver's teeth in, he was talking about bringing them back to reality. Go back about 8 years when he decided that Shaq's LA lease was up. What does he do to the "MDE?" Exiled him. Then he went on to win another 2 rings without the MDE.

    It will be a sad day in Lakerdom when this dude finally hangs them up.
    This place will turn into the Pistons Forum without him. It simply won't survive.

  17. #17
    Believe. Bruce Wayne's Avatar
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    The NBA Forum should be changed to the Laker Forum, tbh. I just counted 23 Laker-related, or Laker-inspired threads. This is just on the FIRST PAGE. Obsessed much Spur Fans?

    Back on topic though. Kobe is an Alpha Dog. Even when we kicked Denver's teeth in, he was talking about bringing them back to reality. Go back about 8 years when he decided that Shaq's LA lease was up. What does he do to the "MDE?" Exiled him. Then he went on to win another 2 rings without the MDE.

    It will be a sad day in Lakerdom when this dude finally hangs them up.
    Actually, instead of putting his big boy pants on, he cried to be traded like a baby back .

  18. #18
    Board Man Comes Home Clipper Nation's Avatar
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    The NBA Forum should be changed to the Laker Forum, tbh. I just counted 23 Laker-related, or Laker-inspired threads. This is just on the FIRST PAGE. Obsessed much Spur Fans?
    Tbh, it's just the natural backlash to the semen cloud that Lakerfans spent the entire summer forming over this forum, tbh....

  19. #19
    GOING FOR GOLD JRHernandez88's Avatar
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    Lol Kobe and his fake toughness.

  20. #20
    🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 ElNono's Avatar
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    This place will turn into the Pistons Forum without him. It simply won't survive.
    I call BS on this. We'll still laugh at Dwight (if he decides to stay)

  21. #21
    Veteran LkrFan's Avatar
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    I call BS on this. We'll still laugh at Dwight (if he decides to stay)

  22. #22
    All magic pass1st's Avatar
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    Chemistry has been pretty bad for most of the season so far. Kobe is just throwing wood in the fire with this

  23. #23
    🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 ElNono's Avatar
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    saying he'll kick everyone's ass except for Dwight and Metta who "have it in them"
    Metta would go Colorado on his ass in one millisecond

    then again, this is the faux tough guy that was beat up by Vanessa

  24. #24
    R.C. Deez Nuts. Mugen's Avatar
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    pretty sure even Mongoloid Blake could take Kobe in a fight tbh. Give him the Chris Childs 1-2 combo and hes running back to vanessa again.

  25. #25
    Lab Animal Capt Bringdown's Avatar
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    Any doubt Duncan could win a le with Gasol and Howard?
    Everyone knows what the problem is.

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