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But if Stern would have given us CP3, we could crack .500
They all have a small TMII love how anyone on there who doesn't suck off Kobe is referred to as a "Clipper bandwagoner"... insecure much?
These people need to get lives...
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spflakers
Star Player
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Posts: 3450
Location: New York, NY
Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 3:08 pm Post subject: A day in the life of an LG poster
7 a.m. Wake up, turn off alarm clock that, instead of buzzing or ringing, uses the rhythmic clapping used by fans in The Forum before the Lakers introductions of Game 7 of the 1988 NBA Finals.
7:10 a.m. Shower. Wash off the stench from previous night's 104-98 loss to Charlotte, which had poster simultaneously contemplating suicide, emigration or starting a thread on LG stating that after 28 years of Lakers fandom, he just can't do this crap anymore.
8 a.m. Watch a Today show feature about a charity auction involving Michael Jordan that will benefit blind orphans from Rwanda, fly into blind rage that the piece fails to mention everything Kobe has done for blind orphans from Haiti.
8:30 a.m. Drop kids off at school; daydream about what it'd be like to have relations -- in the Biblical sense -- with that cute 3rd grade teacher. Worry that she'd find it odd and/or criminal that he can only make love if Lawrence Tanter's voice introducing the 1987 Lakers plays on the bedroom's speakers.
9 a.m. Look up old YouTube clips of Marcus Banks, dream about what might have been. Man, oh man. That quickness, teamed up with Kobe? Forget about it. 73-9. Stupid Mitch.
9:30 a.m. Nap.
11 a.m. Log on to LG. See story about foot injury suffered by Kobe. Tell 500-word story about that time in the summer of '98 when the poster suffered a similar injury while hiking up Everest. Explain that the injury kept him out of the YMCA league for 22 months and it is ABSURD and laughable for anyone to think Kobe will be back in a week. "And even if he does come back, his pull-up jumper won't be the same. Mine wasn't."
11:15 a.m. Post interview with Dr. Klapper, who says in his experience, if - if -- Kobe has suffered a stress fracture, the only course is euthanasia, which used to be performed by trained medical personnel but because of Jim Buss' stingy ways, is now done by a recently rehired Rudy Garciduenas. But, Klapper says, if it's just a bone bruise, Kobe should be back in 7-10 days.
Noon. See thread about Dwight Howard's torn labrum. Write 1,000 words about how an ex-girlfriend suffered a similar injury and can no longer have children so it's ridiculous to expect Dwight to bounce back in 7 days, or reproduce.
12:05 p.m. Offer mea culpa after consulting Web MD.
12:25 p.m. Tell 3,500-word story about the time poster suffered torn rotator cuff after throwing 345 pitches in a little league game. Not only was the coach arrested for child abuse, but the poster never threw again until the Rentonville County Fair 10 years later, when he won a doll for his girl while knocking down three bowling pins. "There is ZERO chance Howard is back this month."
1 p.m. Lunch. Get into a bar brawl with fellow patron who says Chick Hearn's best film work came in "The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan's Island" and not "Fletch."
3 p.m. Do research into cyborg technology, in an attempt to prove Bobby/32 is not actually human, since no human could possibly see news as quickly as he does and post it .3 seconds after it first appears on TV or social media.
4 p.m. Construct 250-word argument about idea that if you think about it, Lakers might have been better off keeping Kwame and never acquiring Gasol. "We could really use that interior defense now."
4:15 p.m. Post in "Who's Better: Jordan or Kobe" thread.
4:25 p.m. Post in "Whose season was more dominant: Kobe's 2006 season or Magic's 1987 season?"
4:30 p.m. Write email to A.C. Green telling him how much he admired his stance on chas y and staying true to his beliefs. As a P.S., jokingly say he might not have missed so many layups off of Magic's passes if he wasn't so backed up.
5 p.m. Contemplate going back to college. Debate whether he wants to go to Yale, Harvard, Columbia or Stanford.
5:30 p.m. Start a thread that suggests a trade involving "Dwight, Ebanks and Jamison for LeBron. Not sure how Heat pass this up, since you know they're losing LeBron for nothing in 2014."
6 p.m. Help children with homework, all while talking in a creepy Stu Lantz voice. "Now, Sarah says, 'Daddy, what were the reasons behind the Civil War?' And Daddy says, 'Girl, you'll hear a lot of nonsense about state's rights, but just know this: It was slavery.' Girl says, 'Thanks, daddy.' Daddy says, 'That's what we do on the Father's Championship Network.'"
6:30 p.m. Retweet Bleacher Report slidehow: Top 50 Lakers Girls of all-time.
6:45 p.m. Email T.J. Simers, questioning his upbringing, education, morals.
7:30 p.m. Turn on game. Watch Lakers fall behind 2-1, post in game thread about how he is SICK AND TIRED of Jim Buss's failures.
7:36 p.m. Watch Lakers go ahead 5-4 on an Ebanks three-pointer. Post in game thread, "Telling you, this guy is Ariza Jr. Gotta give him some burn!"
7:42 p.m. Watch Ebanks commit two straight turnovers, post in game thread, "Can Dumbtoni figure out that METTA HAS TO START!!! GET EBANKS OUT OF THERE!"
8 p.m. Eat the free taco his brother earned while attending a Lakers-Nets game during the Mike Brown era, you know, back when they played defense. NEVER SHOULD HAVE FIRED HIM! AND WHY WON'T DANTONI HIRE A DEFENSIVE ASSISTANT. JOHN BACH IS STILL JUST SITTING OUT THERE WAITING!
8:30 p.m. Post in thread: "Who had worst teammates: Jordan in 1986 or Kobe in 2013." Passionately argue that "I would take that Dave Corzine over this Dwight Howard. And don't even get me started on Orlando Woolridge. Who do these Lakers have who compares?"
8:45 p.m. After watching Kobe miss six straight jumpers, each more difficult than the last, post in game thread how you are "sick and tired of this act by Kobe. It's been 17 years. Dude is never gonna learn. Time to tank and rebuild."
9 p.m. Call dad, rant about why in the world Riley put the Lakers through those hard practices before the 1989 Finals. SO STUPID!
9:30 p.m. With Lakers trailing Pacers by 11 with 2 minutes to go, weep. Put in old videotape from Game 4 of 2000 NBA Finals, laugh at Rik Smits, pen hate mail to Dutch embassy.
10 p.m. Sign online pe ion demanding the Buss family fire D'Antoni and then sell the team to Jack Kent Cooke's heirs.
11 p.m. Go to bed in Lakers onesie. Or nude, because Kareem said that's how he sleeps in Giant Steps.
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spflakers
Star Player
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Posts: 3450
Location: New York, NY
Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 3:08 pm Post subject: A day in the life of an LG poster
7 a.m. Wake up, turn off alarm clock that, instead of buzzing or ringing, uses the rhythmic clapping used by fans in The Forum before the Lakers introductions of Game 7 of the 1988 NBA Finals.
7:10 a.m. Shower. Wash off the stench from previous night's 104-98 loss to Charlotte, which had poster simultaneously contemplating suicide, emigration or starting a thread on LG stating that after 28 years of Lakers fandom, he just can't do this crap anymore.
8 a.m. Watch a Today show feature about a charity auction involving Michael Jordan that will benefit blind orphans from Rwanda, fly into blind rage that the piece fails to mention everything Kobe has done for blind orphans from Haiti.
8:30 a.m. Drop kids off at school; daydream about what it'd be like to have relations -- in the Biblical sense -- with that cute 3rd grade teacher. Worry that she'd find it odd and/or criminal that he can only make love if Lawrence Tanter's voice introducing the 1987 Lakers plays on the bedroom's speakers.
9 a.m. Look up old YouTube clips of Marcus Banks, dream about what might have been. Man, oh man. That quickness, teamed up with Kobe? Forget about it. 73-9. Stupid Mitch.
9:30 a.m. Nap.
11 a.m. Log on to LG. See story about foot injury suffered by Kobe. Tell 500-word story about that time in the summer of '98 when the poster suffered a similar injury while hiking up Everest. Explain that the injury kept him out of the YMCA league for 22 months and it is ABSURD and laughable for anyone to think Kobe will be back in a week. "And even if he does come back, his pull-up jumper won't be the same. Mine wasn't."
11:15 a.m. Post interview with Dr. Klapper, who says in his experience, if - if -- Kobe has suffered a stress fracture, the only course is euthanasia, which used to be performed by trained medical personnel but because of Jim Buss' stingy ways, is now done by a recently rehired Rudy Garciduenas. But, Klapper says, if it's just a bone bruise, Kobe should be back in 7-10 days.
Noon. See thread about Dwight Howard's torn labrum. Write 1,000 words about how an ex-girlfriend suffered a similar injury and can no longer have children so it's ridiculous to expect Dwight to bounce back in 7 days, or reproduce.
12:05 p.m. Offer mea culpa after consulting Web MD.
12:25 p.m. Tell 3,500-word story about the time poster suffered torn rotator cuff after throwing 345 pitches in a little league game. Not only was the coach arrested for child abuse, but the poster never threw again until the Rentonville County Fair 10 years later, when he won a doll for his girl while knocking down three bowling pins. "There is ZERO chance Howard is back this month."
1 p.m. Lunch. Get into a bar brawl with fellow patron who says Chick Hearn's best film work came in "The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan's Island" and not "Fletch."
3 p.m. Do research into cyborg technology, in an attempt to prove Bobby/32 is not actually human, since no human could possibly see news as quickly as he does and post it .3 seconds after it first appears on TV or social media.
4 p.m. Construct 250-word argument about idea that if you think about it, Lakers might have been better off keeping Kwame and never acquiring Gasol. "We could really use that interior defense now."
4:15 p.m. Post in "Who's Better: Jordan or Kobe" thread.
4:25 p.m. Post in "Whose season was more dominant: Kobe's 2006 season or Magic's 1987 season?"
4:30 p.m. Write email to A.C. Green telling him how much he admired his stance on chas y and staying true to his beliefs. As a P.S., jokingly say he might not have missed so many layups off of Magic's passes if he wasn't so backed up.
5 p.m. Contemplate going back to college. Debate whether he wants to go to Yale, Harvard, Columbia or Stanford.
5:30 p.m. Start a thread that suggests a trade involving "Dwight, Ebanks and Jamison for LeBron. Not sure how Heat pass this up, since you know they're losing LeBron for nothing in 2014."
6 p.m. Help children with homework, all while talking in a creepy Stu Lantz voice. "Now, Sarah says, 'Daddy, what were the reasons behind the Civil War?' And Daddy says, 'Girl, you'll hear a lot of nonsense about state's rights, but just know this: It was slavery.' Girl says, 'Thanks, daddy.' Daddy says, 'That's what we do on the Father's Championship Network.'"
6:30 p.m. Retweet Bleacher Report slidehow: Top 50 Lakers Girls of all-time.
6:45 p.m. Email T.J. Simers, questioning his upbringing, education, morals.
7:30 p.m. Turn on game. Watch Lakers fall behind 2-1, post in game thread about how he is SICK AND TIRED of Jim Buss's failures.
7:36 p.m. Watch Lakers go ahead 5-4 on an Ebanks three-pointer. Post in game thread, "Telling you, this guy is Ariza Jr. Gotta give him some burn!"
7:42 p.m. Watch Ebanks commit two straight turnovers, post in game thread, "Can Dumbtoni figure out that METTA HAS TO START!!! GET EBANKS OUT OF THERE!"
8 p.m. Eat the free taco his brother earned while attending a Lakers-Nets game during the Mike Brown era, you know, back when they played defense. NEVER SHOULD HAVE FIRED HIM! AND WHY WON'T DANTONI HIRE A DEFENSIVE ASSISTANT. JOHN BACH IS STILL JUST SITTING OUT THERE WAITING!
8:30 p.m. Post in thread: "Who had worst teammates: Jordan in 1986 or Kobe in 2013." Passionately argue that "I would take that Dave Corzine over this Dwight Howard. And don't even get me started on Orlando Woolridge. Who do these Lakers have who compares?"
8:45 p.m. After watching Kobe miss six straight jumpers, each more difficult than the last, post in game thread how you are "sick and tired of this act by Kobe. It's been 17 years. Dude is never gonna learn. Time to tank and rebuild."
9 p.m. Call dad, rant about why in the world Riley put the Lakers through those hard practices before the 1989 Finals. SO STUPID!
9:30 p.m. With Lakers trailing Pacers by 11 with 2 minutes to go, weep. Put in old videotape from Game 4 of 2000 NBA Finals, laugh at Rik Smits, pen hate mail to Dutch embassy.
10 p.m. Sign online pe ion demanding the Buss family fire D'Antoni and then sell the team to Jack Kent Cooke's heirs.
11 p.m. Go to bed in Lakers onesie. Or nude, because Kareem said that's how he sleeps in Giant Steps.
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Very good. I'd add:
8:15 a.m. Steel yourself to go outside. Because “out there” is where the conspiracies all take place. And you never know when David Stern will be gunning for you. But after 15 minutes of meditation, you force yourself to do it, taking solace in the fact that Kobe fights 100 conspiracies against him 100 times a day.
1:30 p.m. Wonder what Lebron is doing at that moment. You don’t know, but you’re sure that whatever he’s doing it somehow insults Kobe and the media will give him an award for it. Stay angry for 30 minutes. Take solace in the notion that Lebron will lose his athleticism by age 29.
2:00 p.m. Make prank phone calls. To whoever answers, say, “You know how many MVPs Kobe has won – one! You know how many he should have won – ALL of them!” Hang up. Laugh uproariously until you collapse in tears. Cry for 30 minutes. Feel better.
Lakers fans actually think that Stern has it in for them.
Just imagine what the meltdown is going to be like when the purple and piss are mathematically eliminated from a playoff spot.
MisterXDTV
Sixth Man
Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Posts: 40
Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 1:49 pm Post subject:
In Texas Kobe Needs to shoot 50 times at this point, it's the only way to have a chance, he needs to score 60+
Last edited by MisterXDTV on Mon Jan 07, 2013 1:49 pm; edited 1 time in total
kobeground
the butthurt is still strong
why did I get banned... what kinda
Gosh them Kobestan are even more butthurt and hate stern more than gnsf
Lakersohyeah
Starting Rotation
Joined: 06 Feb 2008
Posts: 268
I don't want to say this but it is time for KOBE for LEBRON Back to top
Yes, clearly the national media hates the Lakers...
salvosation
Star Player
Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 2327
Kobe calls Magic's criticism against him ridiculous. He respectfully give Magic his due, but reminds everyone that he has been no slouch either.
Dwight responds about the made up stories about him and Kobe having beef, and indicate that there is an agenda against their team.
http://www.nba.com/lakers/video/130107BryantBack to top
While Kobe leads the scoring table it's been a great year for them.
And they can blame Gasol too.
MisterXDTV
Sixth Man
He couldnt have 60+ pts on only 50 shots. Too old for refs ball.
Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Posts: 40
In Texas Kobe Needs to shoot 50 times at this point, it's the only way to have a chance, he needs to score 60+
Last edited by MisterXDTV on Mon Jan 07, 2013 1:49 pm; edited 1 time in total
InstinctualGenius
Sixth Man
Joined: 05 Jan 2013
Posts: 58
The refs hate Metta.
This has been confirmed time and time again.
Parsons should be fined for that flop..Back to top
I guess they missed Kobe's ridiculous flop earlier in the game?
Commence meltdown
Brandon98
Franchise Player
Joined: 29 Dec 2007
Posts: 17807
Location: San Clemente
Bring on Jerry Sloan. Back to top
Yong
Star Player
Joined: 08 Oct 2009
Posts: 2959
really disgusted by mitch's performance this offseason.
signed 2 bums. released our best bench player (might actually be our best SF more so than Metta)
released sessions a young athletic upcoming point guard, and instead traded 2 lottery picks for steve nash who has 1 foot in the coffin.
not just that, traded for dwight who is a cancerous diva
but the worst has to be not trading pau for josh smithBack to top
Murdock
Star Player
Joined: 16 May 2001
Posts: 4980
Blow up the team, trade everyone but Kobe for youth and draft picks.. Make Kobe the Player-Coach and let him play out his time here.. Back to top
All right, fess up... who just posted this on LG?
KobesDeadBabiez
Rookie
Joined: 08 Jan 2013
Posts: 1
Does anyone else hope Kobe gets assassinated with a sniper? I hope Vanessa Bryant gets her pu$$y ripped. Back to top
2CSBROS
Starting Rotation
Joined: 22 Nov 2012
Posts: 308
Lakers pic is lottery protected for the UMTEETH time in the last two months. THE DRAFT PICK IS LOTTERY PROTECTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOTTERY PROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTECTED
LOTTERY PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOTECTED.
Can you hear that?!Back to top
NotFromAroundHere937
Starting Rotation
Joined: 13 Apr 2008
Posts: 883
Location: Charlotte, NC
In theory it was the best hire for the future of the Lakers. When Dwight pairs up with Lebron. Back to top
Too bad Dwight's going to Brooklyn/Atlanta/Dallas and LeBron's coming to the Clippers...
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