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Conspiracy!
Government won't boost economy building spacecraft to blow up planets
(CNN) -
It took no advice from the Imperial Senate to reach this conclusion: the U.S. government won't be building a Death Star.
A White House official responded Friday to an online pe ion on its website proposing the government turn what is "Star Wars" fiction into reality -- you know, to boost the economy.
"By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense," the pe ion read.
The White House response to the out-of-this-world proposal was grounded.
"The administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon," wrote Paul Shawcross, chief of the Office of Management and Budget's Science and Space Branch.
And plus, he wrote, there is "something already floating in the sky."
"Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that's helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations," he wrote. "Even though the United States doesn't have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we've got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we're building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun."
The spherical Death Star space station was the domain of the Galactic Empire and featured a super laser with sufficient power to destroy planets.
The pe ion picked up over 34,400 signatures since it was posted on November 14. The White House says it responds to all pe ions on its "We the People" website which reach at least 25,000 virtual signatures.
The Office of Management and Budget prepares the president's annual budget proposal and scores the costs and deficit impact of executive branch proposals. True to form, the Death Star reply included a score, or cost projection, of the project.
"The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it," Shawcross wrote, citing a calculation performed by students at Lehigh University's College of Business and Economics.
Also, Shawcross noted, "The administration does not support blowing up planets."
Conspiracy!
The sucking president should start small, e.g., get the Webb funded and get a replacement for the Space Shuttle. The way our technology has gone to in this country is just sickening. We don't have a manned space travel vehicle anymore, we don't make high speed trains, we don't make the best solar panels, we didn't find the Higgs boson, I mean the future is just passing this country by.
if you think they are so much better than why don't you just move there?
Can I bring my guns?
The actual white house response is better than any of the stories.
This Isn't the Pe ion Response You're Looking For
By Paul Shawcross
The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:
The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?
However, look carefully (here's how) and you'll notice something already floating in the sky -- that's no Moon, it's a Space Station! Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that's helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations. The Space Station has six astronauts -- American, Russian, and Canadian -- living in it right now, conducting research, learning how to live and work in space over long periods of time, routinely welcoming visiting spacecraft and repairing onboard garbage mashers, etc. We've also got two robot science labs -- one wielding a laser -- roving around Mars, looking at whether life ever existed on the Red Planet.
Keep in mind, space is no longer just government-only. Private American companies, through NASA's Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office (C3PO), are ferrying cargo -- and soon, crew -- to space for NASA, and are pursuing human missions to the Moon this decade.
Even though the United States doesn't have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we've got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we're building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun. We are discovering hundreds of new planets in other star systems and building a much more powerful successor to the Hubble Space Telescope that will see back to the early days of the universe.
We don't have a Death Star, but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke's arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.
We are living in the future! Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field. The President has held the first-ever White House science fairs and Astronomy Night on the South Lawn because he knows these domains are critical to our country's future, and to ensuring the United States continues leading the world in doing big things.
If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.
Paul Shawcross is Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget
The emperor will not be pleased.
Yeah, but no one cares about cheney anymore.
that the "lets build the death star to increase gdp and default by blowing up the earth" was a giant sarcastic joke was lost on everybody I guess. sort of like how the trillion dollar coin was supposed to save us from debt
Reagan would be all over that ....
ing right. These pussy liberals dont see the virtue in selling the idea of building a Death Star as a means to bankrupt China.
Reagan would be all over that ....
Privatization is the future my friends. This is going to happen, but it's going to be Walt's reanimated corpse with his finger on the button.
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