right now i can't enjoy life at all, after what happened can't find peace with myself, i don't know how i'm going to carry on... to be on the verge of feeling on top of the world, to smell, almost hold the ultimate happiness that exists in life, getting close inside me to the biggest euphoria feeling, but then all disappear... i really needed that feeling to be complete, it would have change me as a person, would have made me a better, bigger, stronger person... it felt to me that all the past, all my life and all hard times and bad things i go through in life were for this moment to happened, moment that i found out was everything to me, but than the ferocious ending, it felt like the world betray me... now it so tough to carry on, it make me see every moment in life with grey colors and with uninterested mind...