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Tarps!
http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...uars-909081897Some people are fans of the Jacksonville Jaguars. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Jacksonville Jaguars. This 2013 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group.
Why your team sucks: When it comes to writing up these previews, I always make sure to save the most popular, most interesting teams for the end of the preseason. This is why the Jags get to go first. They should have been the London Rippers by now. Instead, until at least 2030, they will remain one of the NFL's filler teams. Without revenue sharing, this franchise would be worth $3, and that's being generous. They have no quarterback; they have no pass rush; their best player (Justin Blackmon) is already under suspension; and worst of all, they have no reason for being. Interest in the Jaguars is wholly subsidized by the existence of fantasy football. They're like corn, only corn is occasionally useful.
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Frankly, they should have a player kill someone. Why let the Patriots hog all the murderous players when you could draft them all yourself and make a real BRAND out of it? Then you could have Jason Whitlock be like, "Those Jags are nothing but common thugs!" and then your team would be worth paying attention to. Then you'd have some MOXIE, by God! Anyway, they're doomed. Remember, this is a team that's considering putting the Red Zone Channel on their video board to get people to come to the stadium. They might as well show a white flag rippling in the wind for three straight hours instead.
Why your team doesn't suck: New uniforms! SO VERY TIGHT.
In Seattle, Bradley helped build one of the more imposing secondaries in football, which became the rock of the league's No. 3 overall defense in 2012. He doesn't have anywhere near that level of talent in Jacksonville. But hey, you might as well give him time. It's not like you northern Floridians have anything to do for the next 17 years anyway. Just go out, do some meth, get caught trying to bang your neighbor's ferret, go to prison, and come back in a couple years to see if Bradley's made any progress. At the very least, Gabbert will have been euthanized by then.
Tarps!
The seven worst Jaguars ever:
1. Matt Jones. Please note that no team will ever draft a mobile white QB, convert him into a wideout, and have it work. Ever. Stop dreaming about it happening, white fanboys.
2. Gabbert
3. Reggie Williams
4. Gene Smith. Gave $14 million guaranteed to Laurent Robinson. Jesus.
5. R. Jay Soward. You guys should really stop drafting receivers. Even Matt Millen thinks you suck at drafting wideouts.
6. Marcedes Lewis
7. S-TypeAt least the S-Type starts, runs and occasionally can pass, all while hauling around a spare tire. Yesterday 4:22pm
What's sad is that even with the tarps, the Jags outdrew 12 teams last year, including the Bears, Bengals, Steelers, Chargers, and Raiders
Who's the got resident jags fan on here? Get in here andthis
This can't be right...does it just have to do with the size of the stadium?What's sad is that even with the tarps, the Jags outdrew 12 teams last year, including the Bears, Bengals, Steelers, Chargers, and Raiders
Lewis is atleast a half decent player...Derrick Harvey should replace him on that list.
Thanks for being in Houston's division. Guaranteed wins ftw.
The ans one is even better.
Your quarterback: Jake Locker. FUN FACT: By the time you're finished reading this sentence, poor Jake will have already partially torn the cartilage in his throwing shoulder. He'll be out three weeks. And by three, I mean six. It's a shame because I was looking forward to watching Jake barely complete half his passes. He's like Vince Young, only not as much fun and far less willing to take his shirt off.http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...tans-922229762Why your team sucks: Let's talk about Bud Adams for a moment, because Bud Adams doesn't get nearly enough credit for being a horrible, ty old man.
At least Leon Hess had the courtesy to die. ans fans get no such comfort. Dan Snyder and Jerry Jones have hogged the "meddlesome owner" spotlight for so long that it's easy to overlook ol' Bud, who interferes in far more of his team's business than a living cadaver ought to. You never want to see your team run by a dude who looks like a 15-term senator who bangs the help. Bud forced Vince Young on Jeff Fisher, then he fired Jeff Fisher, and now the ans are eons removed from their best years. Think about that: the Jeff Fisher years represent the APEX of this team's existence. They're never gonna get the chance to lose a Super Bowl by a single yard ever again. They are locked and loaded into 6-10 for the next two decades, especially with a defense this atrocious.
Lol Jags.
Should have snagged Teebus when they had the chance to at least get some attention
Stupid.
Who's the got resident jags fan on here? Get in here and
Come on lincoln dont cry girl! It's gone b alright girl. Your better then this Lincoln.
lol matt jones
lol dirk4mvp
tbh for forum newbies, a certain poster named dirk4mvp used to jerk it to Matt Jones regularly, claiming he would be a perennial 1000 yd receiver in the league. rofl what a dumbass.
I may make this thread my personal little fiefdom in order to on the Jags
ESPN.com will dedicate a blogger to each and every NFL team. Makes sense—fans can't get enough football. Well, most fans. From Poynter's story on the announcement:
ESPN.com Editor-in-Chief Patrick Stiegman looked at the site’s data for how much time users spent on the top 100 teams it covered. Of the 32 teams at the top of that list, 31 were NFL teams.
The Jacksonville Jaguars were the only NFL team that didn’t make that list, King said, but he said ESPN decided to cover all the teams anyway.
WashingtonForeskinsUBarry Petchesky131
L
Sadly, even 7% of the page views for the Jaguars are just the NSA checking in on Shad Khan.
The other 93% are Blaine Gabbert's mom checking in to see if everything is "ok."Today 1:43pm
I may make this thread my personal little fiefdom in order to on the Jags
LOL butthurt espn. Like it or not the true die hard Jag fans are growing and getting stronger. The fact that the Jags posted a number average of over 64,000 per game is very telling. You know what's even better and a great indicator of a strong fanbase growing. The fact that this average figure occurred in one of the most horrendous, grotesque excuses for a football team that went 2-14 and the fans still showed up. All they need is a decent QB because the young talent is getting better and better. The arrow is pointing up and soon the wins will follow. Then the numbers will be over the top. At that point espn can still suck a big hard ! First and foremost I'm a Spurs fan since '86. I'm used to espn ting on small market teams. This is truly amusing to me and doesn't even move the ing needle. As a matter of fact, keep it up. I welcome it. Were talking Jaguars football baby! As far as I'm concerned with the amount of time you have spent talking about them, dare I say they might be your AFC team? You know what it might very well be.
Your turn o...
http://espn.go.com/nfl/attendance/_/year/2012
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...ndance_figures
I may make this thread my personal little fiefdom in order to on the Jags
and..... I think we are going to make this the newest Jacksonville Jaguars forums!
By all means
i give this post 8 lols out of 10
Punk ass doesn't have to say. Exactly what I expected.
Rofl.
call your shot. How many games do the Jags win this year.
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