Are Ya Ready Kids?????????

[1369]

My two year old is soooooo ready for this movie....

What on Earth was I doing sitting in a theater watching SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS: THE MOVIE?

It all began at 7:45am - Saturday morning. My nephew was spending the night at Geek Headquarters. When I came in the night before, Father Geek and he had been watching Roger Corman's FRANKENSTEIN UNBOUND and talking about the Frankenstein monster - Karloff, Lugosi, Glenn Strange, Lon Chaney Jr, Christopher Lee, David Prowse, and the Frankenstein they just watched. They were talking about why the villagers were tormenting "the monster" - who ultimately just wanted to be left alone... good...

Anyway - it was 7:45am. Now, being the monkey that I was, I'd been up most of the night watching Gil Gerard and Erin Gray in the pilot and 1st episode of that glorious BUCK ROGERS TV series. Ah... Heaven. "I've been doing this since long before you were born" Hehehehehe...

Like I said, it was 7:45am. I'd only been asleep 2 hours - and this fireball of energy came bounding into my room. "WAKE UP HAWE, WAKE UP! SPONGEBOB HAWE, GOTTA SEE SPONGEBOB!" I opened my eyes and saw the time - looked at his beady X-mas morning face gleaming with the dream of a SPONGEBOB movie in his little monkey brain. In his short 4 year life - I'd never been woken up by this urchin with this degree of dream-fed mania. How'd I know it was dreamfed... At one point during my Buck-a-thon, I went to the bathroom and went to check on his log-sawing cadaver, only to find him nestled with MY Miyazaki CATBUS which he had stole from my room... and clutched in his miniature meaty paw... a press pass to SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS: THE MOVIE.

I know next to nothing about this show. I know there's a snail that meows. I know Spongebob is apparently... a sentient sponge. Otherwise - I know nothing of the show.

Now - this kid had only been asleep for a maximum of about 5 and a half hours - yet he was so awake, so charged, so jazzed that he was vibrating through solid objects like Barry Allen on JOLT. This kid was WIRED for this movie.

So, being the Uncle I am... I rolled away from his eyes to face my wall... pulled up the covers and mumbled something about, "leavemealonesleepimportantmumblemumble."

Next thing I know, the great Uncle Mountain had an expedition by a dwarf to plant a flag atop its peak. This kid was bound and determined to awake me. Stumbling out of bed in my best impersonation of Shaun, I was yawny-faced and bleary-eyed. The shower changed that.

While in the shower, the demonchild began banging on the door to the bathroom, "SPONGEBOB HAWEEEEE! SPONGEBOB!"

This was crazy - it's just a lame for infants only toon. This can not possibly be worth my time.

Getting out and getting dressed was interrupted by more door pounding. When I get out - He attacks me. "SPONGEBOB HAWEEEEE!!!"

I look at Fathergeek - and he has the same strange obsessed mania upon his face. "SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS," he sings while doing a crazy eye-crossed goofy face. DEAR LORD, SHOOT ME!

Yes, Father Geek is a SpongeBob Freak. He's been watching it with Giovanni for quite some time now. He claims it is cool. That it isn't worthless. But he's never convinced me with his insane codespeak he shares with Giovanni regarding it all. They launch into a song - I am awaiting the Jet Engine to end it all.

I get in the car, we're entirely too early for this screening. The film begins at 10am, it it 8:20am. Nobody cares about SPONGEBOB.

We arrive at the theater, there's about 50 cars there. Oh God, they do move in herds...

At this point - I've got this Missouri look upon my brow... Show me this Spongebob nonsense Prove it to me.

They hand little mini posters and SpongeBob buying catalogues to the kids. Giovanni looks at the poster and declares it cute. "Granpa" goes for popcorn and a drink for the squirt - and Gio's doing the "Whentheystartdamobie?" chant. I feel... I don't know what I think of this. He's hypercharged for this movie. I have no doubt - he's going to love it. I doubt seriously it will mean "jack" and " " to me.

The film begins.

It's live-action avast me maties pirates. A pirate in a dingy is bringing back what looks like a treasure chest. "What the is this?," I'm thinking. They get the chest aboard their mighty vessel - blast open the chest... an PULP FICTION - KISS ME DEADLY glow escapes the container.. The one-eyed parrot toting pirate retrieves... Tickets to the SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS movie. -- Then - in their best "Yo Ho, Pirates Life For Me" like demeanor - this salty group of scalawags begin singing the opening le song for SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS.

I have a stunned, goofy expression on my face. I like pirates - singing happy pirates are even cooler. You would have to be the most soulless sod on the bottom of the most stagnant dreary pool of sewer deposited shi er springs to not love this movie.

It is simply - one of the most gosh gee-whiz fun flicks I've seen in a long time. It's funny, weird, oddly subversive and just LOVE-ME lovable. Everything about it was new to me.

The re ed starfish character, Spongebob and his prozac-eyed manic-effervescence. This annoyed squid manager fella. This evil slug looking thing. Crab-patties, the chum bucket, a sea-diving squirrel thing. What the is this?

Then there's Jeffrey Tambor's NEPTUNE - which looks like an underground comix version of a Silly Symphonies Neptune from the 30's. But his daughter, voiced by Scarlett - pant pant drool drool - Johansson, looks like a Daniel Clowes freak show character from GHOST WORLD. Then - the best work Alec Baldwin has done in years as DENNIS a hitman sent to exterminate SpongeBob and his cohort. Then... well then of course there is the mad genius of David Hasselhoff.

Ya know - MTV needs to add "BEST CAMEO ACTOR OF THE YEAR" and give it to Michael Knight. When Hasselhoff pinched off a load of in an Airplane in John Waters' A DIRTY SHAME - I thought that there was no way that Hasselhoff could top himself. Well, David is a God in SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS. One could not possibl ruin the gags involving David. They are truly genius. But later - SpongeBob's personal exclamation about Hasselhoff - well, like the Dude's rug, it really ties it all together.

Now - I love David's sequence in the film. But SpongeBob and his Starfish buddy OD-ing at the GOOFY GOOBER club killed me. The Badass Biker Club callback to Goofy Goober was better. The "We Are Men" sequence through the trench of Big Daddy Roth inspired Monsters of the Deep scene is just - modern MINNIE THE MOOCHER fun.

I don't remember looking at my nephew once during this film. Not once. I was that entranced by it. I could not believe what I was watching. In the days since my exposure to this insanity, I find myself singing the Goofy Goober song... over... and over... and over again. So much, that Giovanni has begun to say, "Uncle Hawe Stop!"

Yes - Beware of this film - It's too much fun for Adults - It's only for those with inner goofy goobers, like me.

[Shelly]

I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!

[Samurai Jane]

That's hilarious.. I was one of those that absolutely hated Spongebob, kinda like the anti-Barney crowd, but now, I love that stupid funny show!

P.S. Is it okay to wear the Spongebob watch I got out of the cereal box this morning to the movie??

[Shelly]

We have two of those watches!

SpongeBob rules. My favorite episode is when he's dancing with the jellyfish.

However, my youngest has gotten me to do that stupid laugh from Ed, Edd, and Eddy.

[1369]

My daughter has gotten me hooked on Sponge Bob. I love the one when he gets the "Suds".

However, today I have a song from "Oobi" bouncing around in my head and I can't get it out.

Normally it is "One of these things is not like the other..." from Sesame Street.

[Samurai Jane]

I like the one where Squidward is trying to sell his house.. Spongebob and Patrick acting like Squidward cracks me up...

[travis2]

I have two teenagers who watch "Spongebob"...

[Shelly]

SpongeBob is all about laughs

Web Posted: 11/17/2004 12:00 AM CST

Larry Ratliff
Express-News Film Critic

HOLLYWOOD — Why do makers of animated films make the movies they do? Are they merely out to create franchise cash cows, or are they drawn more toward pleasing themselves and hoping moviegoers will hop on for the ride?

A common thread connects this holiday season's vastly different animated features: "The Incredibles," "The Polar Express" and "The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie" are all auteur-driven.

"Most animated films are not made that way that we've seen," said Julia Pistor, "SpongeBob" producer and senior vice president of Nickelodeon Movies.

Brad Bird ("The Incredibles"), for instance, loves to mingle people and mechanical gadgets. Robert Zemeckis, nudged into firing up "The Polar Express" by eventual star Tom Hanks, can't resist pushing the technology envelope.

For Stephen Hillenburg, creator, director and screenwriter of "SpongeBob SquarePants," it's all about creating animation that makes him laugh.

"All of us that write the show and work on the show, we love cartoons. We write the show to make it funny to ourselves," Hillenburg said. "Hopefully, other adults agree with our sense of humor or at least find it amusing. Also, we deliberately exclude a lot of topical humor from the series."

"SpongeBob SquarePants," a series of 11-minute hand-drawn 2-D animation shorts on the Nickelodeon cable channel, makes its dripping debut on the big screen Friday.

Hillenburg was working as creative director on Nickelodeon's "Rocko's Modern Life" (now off the air) when he pitched the idea for an animated series revolving around a lovable, if frenetic, sponge who lives in an undersea place called Bikini Bottom.

Good thing, too. Hillenburg said a guy pitching a series armed with characters in an aquarium and a theme song featuring a guy playing a ukulele (Hillenburg) might not be allowed in the building, much less be seriously considered.

In its fourth season, "SpongeBob SquarePants" has evolved into one of the most watched kids' shows in television history. And the appeal doesn't end with children. Thirty percent of the "SpongeBob" audience is adult.

"No one in their right mind would think that a story about a sponge would reach the height of popularity," Hillenburg said.

"I started off wanting to do a show starring this little invertebrate optimist kind of based on classic forms of comedy like Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy, that sort of classic innocence against the world."

For those unfamiliar with the inhabitants of Bikini Bottom, SpongeBob (voiced by Tom Kenny) is a childlike yellow sponge with square, cardboard box pants. He loves his job flipping Krabby Patties down at the Krusty Krab.

His best pal is a dumb-lug starfish named Patrick (Bill erbakke). In the big screen adventure, SpongeBob and Patrick risk great danger on a quest to retrieve King Neptune's golden crown, which may be in a far-off land called S City.

Guest voices for the movie include Alec Baldwin as Dennis, a motorcycle driving hit man, Scarlett Johansson as Mindy the mermaid and Jeffrey Tambor as King Neptune. David Hasselhoff shows up in the lifeguard flesh and figures in the plot finale.

On big screen or little, Hillenburg said it's all about the innocence at the core of SpongeBob.

"This story is about the two kids who are the only hope for the town. And they save the town in their inadvertent way," he said.

"SpongeBob, the naïve innocent, and Patrick, who's the idiot, help each other get into trouble. Together, they make an interesting combination of fire and gas."

It's a volatile combination that has crossed over into tremendous appeal to adults as well. Pistor knows why.

"The characters are blissfully unaware," she said. "They are underdogs that are not geeks and not perceived as geeks. I think the world of Bikini Bottom is a world that's good and optimistic.

"It's a great place to go. Our world is not Bikini Bottom. There's war and elections and tensions on the highway. When I say blissfully unaware, it's not that 'SpongeBob' is even escapism. It's just really funny and really good and really pure. I think it represents the goofy in all of us. And it's smart."

It's also downright edgy at times. In the big screen adventure, Patrick shows up in ladies' fishnet stockings. SpongeBob, depressed because he didn't get promoted to manager at Krusty Krab, goes on an ice cream sundae eating binge that comes across as an alcoholic bender.

Pistor said Nickelodeon supports Hillenburg's vision, although they asked him not to include a couple of things she preferred not to mention.

"We said, 'Please don't do that.' He said, 'Fine.'"

The fishnet-stocking scene remains, although Pistor said it might alienate some people in "the red states."

"My first reaction was, 'That's funny,'" she said. "Second reaction was, 'OK, I'm a producer. I'm also an executive. I'm also a mother. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?' Then I said, 'It's a good thing.' Ultimately, it's funny."

And the ice cream sundae bender?

"I didn't worry about that too much. It goes on at my house."

[SpursWoman]

I'm surprised mine haven't worn out the game, yet.

[Shelly]

Oh, and SJ, I always buy SpongeBob paper towels!

[Useruser666]

I like the way Sponge Bob cleans up kitchen spills.

[Samurai Jane]

Oh, and SJ, I always buy SpongeBob paper towels!

What brand is that????

Shh... I also have Spongebob socks and undies.. don't tell anybody...

[Shelly]

What brand is that????

Shh... I also have Spongebob socks and undies.. don't tell anybody...

Bounty! Plus I have a SpongeBob tissue Box (I think it's Puffs brand) and you can write your own sayings on it. My youngest son took care of that.

[gophergeorge]

I've always enjoyed "opposite day" as well....

Or when Mr. Crabs is dating Ms Puff....

[CosmicCowboy]

The Hollywood elite must be ready to jump...not only did Bush win the election but the top two grossing movies last weekend were animated flicks and Sponge Bob could make it 1,2,3 after it gets released...

could these vacuous hollywood liberal plastic people actuallly become irrelevant?

[jcrod]

I also didn't like Sponge Bob. My wife and daugther loved the show and didn't like the fact I didn't. They even bought me Sponge Bob boxers. Recently I started helping her get ready for school. And when we sit and do her hair, its on, and now I think it's the funniest cartoon. Look at my avatar.

She has the Sponge Bob radio and TV with the five dvd box set. We also have the tissue boxes around the house.

Yesterday the one with the pizza delivery was on, Oh man, the pizza song was cracking me up.

[Useruser666]

The Spongebob brain washing has struck again!

[Samurai Jane]

Aw man.. I gotta get some of these..

[Shelly]

SJ, you can wear them with the pajama bottoms when you go to the movie!

[MannyIsGod]

Are ya'll serious? Man, I don't know. There's too much hype. I have the DVD box set at home, maybe I'll watch them.

[hooperflash]

BUMP

[Creepn]

Back when women posted in the Club.

[The Reckoning]

Back when women posted in the Club.

before certain someones ran them off tbh.

[Creepn]

before certain someones ran them off tbh.

Who?

[TDMVPDPOY]

spongebob never got into that

same with ren and stimpy..