NBA: Let's Examine Some Pre-Requisites For Being The GOAT

[Koolaid_Man]

ok..enough of the bull- ...there are some basic minimum standards here...and it's high time we explored them...

for starters you cannot be getting dissed by white chics on Face Book after offering them a cheese burger and fries....
your mama cannot be sleeping with teammates and ing rappers
you cannot have a receding hairline that rivals Moses' parting of the red sea
you cannot literally have crab feet
you cannot be accused of being a butt pirate
you cannot be a CUCK PERIOD!!!
you cannot have your money given to illegal aliens to start a Taco stand masquerading as a gym
you cannot be letting your "best friends" live with you and you wife for 4 yrs and
you cannot purchase a Condo for your best friend after kicking him out after 4 yrs
you cannot be the recipient of a tongue ring and tramp stamp...
you cannot have magician tattoo's on your upper back
you cannot add to Kobe's legacy by handing over championships to your opponents
you must be accused of sleeping with at a minimum of 100 women
you cannot leave your team to join forces with your biggest rival
you cannot have won a le in a locked out or asterisk season

last but not least you must have at least 5 Championships

[spurraider21]

you can never quit on your team
you can never demand to be traded
you must not coattail for a majority of your wins
you must not be deemed uncoachable by the greatest coach of all time
you must bring more than average efficiency to the table
you cannot leave a girl without finishing then jerk it after she leaves
you cannot rat a teammate out when you're in trouble
you cannot be the all time leader in missed field goal attempts
you cannot make out with brian cook in the middle of the court, you just cant
you have to have more than a single mvp award, which just screams fluke
you must have finals mvp in a majority of your finals wins, indicating you aren't coattaling
you cannot have the greatest moment of your season come in an exhibition game
you cannot be responsible for your team's franchise player bolting for another team while leaving 30 million on the table
you cannot run your team's 3x finals mvp and best player out of town because you are insecure
you cannot take half of the salary cap for yourself and put your team in a financial hole

[Leetonidas]

tl;dr

[Koolaid_Man]

You cannot have embarrassed your country and brought home in SHAME a Bronze Medal
You cannot have quit on your country and then vowed never to play for the USA again
You cannot take pictures with women in the name of charity
You cannot be the best PF of your generation and yet the 2nd to come out the closet
You cannot go to 3 hr dinner's with your suspect teammate
You cannot be hugged up in picture after picture with teammates....

you cannot literally have rats running around your locker room

[spurraider21]

You cannot rape

[elmanutres]

this is nothing but bitterness over the sweep

[Rogue]

you cannot be letting your "best friends" live with you and you wife for 4 yrs and

ain't that what you're going to do with your homie and his wife, regardless of your wife's dissent?

[ezau]

You cannot kill your owner with HIV