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  1. #1
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ TheSanityAnnex's Avatar
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    By the President of the United States of America a Proclamation
    I, Barack Hussein Obama became the forty-fourth President of the United States on January 20, 2008 and was reelected in 2012 for a second term by the electors of twenty-six of the fifty states. My term in office continued until January 20th, 2017.

    Actions by the House of Representatives, its Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, as well as the Senate Judiciary Committee, revealed a number of issues, including the alleged funneling of firearms into the Sovereign Country of Mexico as part of a Department of Justice operation that may have resulted in the deaths of Border Patrol Agency Brian Terry and ICE agent Jaime Zapata, as well as several hundred Mexican citizens, as well as potential perjury on the part of Attorney General Holder during his testimony before Congress.

    Other possible issues that were investigated include:


    The alleged use of the Internal Revenue Service to target groups with ideas opposite to mine, the unlawful sharing of confidential information between the IRS and Democratic members of the House and Senate.

    The failure of my administration to protect the Benghazi mission, resulting in the deaths of U.S. Ambassador J. Christopher Stevens,Sean Smith, U.S. Foreign Service Information Management Officer, and CIA contractors, Tyrone S. Woods and Glen Doherty. Additionally, allegations of "talking points" being changed from suggesting the attack was terror related to instead suggest that it was motivated by an anti-Muslim video, as well as a refusal to clarify my actions or location the night of the attack, as well as refusing to state where the "stand-down" order preventing the intervention of American military assets originated from;

    The potentially unlawful and uncons utional monitoring of e-mail and phone activity on members of the Associated Press;

    Potential perjury performed by Attorney General Eric Holder when he told Congress he had never been associated with potential prosecution of a journalist for perjury when in fact he signed an affidavit that termed Rosen a potential criminal;

    The executive decision to allocate compensation or settlements from three funds for farmers who had been discriminated against to people who were never victimized in such a fashion and should not have been included as recipients;

    Waste, fraud and abuse of taxpayer monies committed by the General Services Administration, the Internal Revenue Service and the Veteran's Administration;

    Violation of the Hatch Act by members of the Administration;

    Interference with the right of states to manage their own voter rolls;

    Attempting to influence potential juror pools in ongoing criminal investigations;

    Providing government monies to campaign contributors and interfering with GAAP to delay negative announcement until after the 2012 election;

    Failure to prosecute cases of voter intimidation caught on video at polling places in Philadelphia;

    Conspiracy to obstruct investigations conducted by the Office of Labor-Management Standards;

    Impeding lawful commerce by prohibiting the resumption of oil drilling activities in the Gulf of Mexico, Colorado, Utah, Wyoming and North Dakota by executive fiat;

    Utilizing the Department of Homeland Security to determine the political affiliation of people making Freedom of Information Act requests;

    Purposefully allowing some states to continue their disenfranchisement of military personnel serving overseas in direct opposition to the 2009 Military and Overseas Voter Empowerment (MOVE) Act for political gain;

    Conducting uncons utional surveillance activities on citizens of the United States;

    Offering political appointee positions to remove potential opponents in primary races;

    Directing the willful disobedience of established bankruptcy laws in the General Motors case;

    Repeated use of Executive Orders and Agency Directives to bypass or subvert the role of Congress as established by the Cons ution;

    Repeated use of recess appointments to bypass or subvert the role of Congress as established by the Cons ution;

    Appointment of an attorney who had represented me in personal matters to the Supreme Court of the United States;

    Acceptance of campaign contributions from foreign donors in violation of Federal election law;

    My executive order allowing Interpol to operate in US territory without oversight by Congress, the courts, FBI or local law enforcement;

    Adherence to those seen as enemies of the United States, and/or giving them aid and comfort through unilateral action;

    My alleged direction to conduct selective enforcement of laws I was sworn to enforce as Chief Executive;


    Additionally, there have been allegations of potentially criminal misconduct prior to my election, including:


    Misdirection of monies appropriated for education benefits while serving as Board Chair of the Chicago Annenberg Challenge;

    Direction of state money to Valerie Jarrett and Tony Rezko for properties that were unfit for habitation;

    Omission of my previous iden ies on my Illinois State Bar application;

    Providing incomplete lists of campaign donors to the Federal Election Commission;

    Conducting independent foreign policy and diplomacy as a senator in violation of existing law

    My association with people who had openly advocated the overthrow of the government of the United States or of this State by force or violence and continued to do so, as well as conspired to commit and committed felonies against lawful ins utions, government en ies and individual citizens;


    As a result of these alleged acts or omissions occurring before the end of my term as President by myself and my subordinates, I, and my appointees have become liable to possible indictment and trial for offenses against the United States. Whether or not he shall be so prosecuted depends on findings of the appropriate grand jury and on the discretion of the authorized prosecutor. Should an indictment ensue, the accused shall then be en led to a fair trial by an impartial jury, as guaranteed to every individual by the Cons ution.

    It is believed that a trial of myself, Barack Hussein Obama, Arif Alikhan, David Axelrod, Donald Berwick,Joseph Biden, Ron Bloom, Barabara Boxer, Rosa Brooks, Carol Browner, Dennis Cardoza, Jay Carney, Stephen Chu, Hillary Clinton, James Cole, Jim Costa, Anita Dunn, Durbin, Josh Earnest, Rahm Emanuel, Dianne Feinstein, Timothy Geithner, Eric Holder, John Holdren, Lisa Jackson, Valerie Jarrett, Dawn Johnson, Van Jones, John Kerry, Harold Koh, Mark Lloyd, John Lund, Robert Malley, Eliseo Medina, Dalia Mogahed, Cecilia Munoz, Nancy Pelosi, Thomas Perez, Michael Posner, Samantha Power, Harry Reid, Susan Rice, Ken Salazar, Kathleen Sebelius, Hilda Solis, Cass Sunstein, Nancy Sutley, Nancy Tauscher, Richard Trumka, Elizabeth Warren and Tony West, if it became necessary, could not fairly begin until a year or more has elapsed. In the meantime, the tranquility to which this nation has been restored by the events of recent weeks could be irreparably lost by the prospects of bringing to trial a former President of the United States. The prospects of such trial will cause prolonged and divisive debate over the propriety of exposing to punishment and degradation a man who has already served as the first African-American elected to the highest elective office of the United States, and those who served beneath me.

    Now, THEREFORE, I, BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA, President of the United States, pursuant to the pardon power conferred upon me by Article II, Section 2, of the Cons ution, have granted and by these presents do grant a full, free, and absolute pardon unto myself, Barack Hussein Obama, Arif Alikhan, David Axelrod, Donald Berwick,Joseph Biden, Ron Bloom, Barabara Boxer, Rosa Brooks, Carol Browner, Dennis Cardoza, Jay Carney, Stephen Chu, Hillary Clinton, James Cole, Jim Costa, Anita Dunn, Durbin, Josh Earnest, Rahm Emanuel, Dianne Feinstein, Timothy Geithner, Eric Holder, John Holdren, Lisa Jackson, Valerie Jarrett, Dawn Johnson, Van Jones, John Kerry, Harold Koh, Mark Lloyd, John Lund, Robert Malley, Eliseo Medina, Dalia Mogahed, Cecilia Munoz, Nancy Pelosi, Thomas Perez, Michael Posner, Samantha Power, Harry Reid, Susan Rice, Ken Salazar, Kathleen Sebelius, Hilda Solis, Cass Sunstein, Nancy Sutley, Nancy Tauscher, Richard Trumka, Elizabeth Warren and Tony West for all offenses against the United States which we have committed or may have committed or taken part in during the period from January 20, 2008 through January 20, 2016

    IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this twentieth day of January, in the year of our Lord two-thousand and seventeen, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and forty-first.

  2. #2
    Alleged Michigander ChumpDumper's Avatar
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    So did this come from your gun forum?

  3. #3
    Veteran Th'Pusher's Avatar
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  4. #4
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ TheSanityAnnex's Avatar
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    So did this come from your gun forum?
    Painfully obvious. At least you didn't have to google it like the got above.

    I've been copy/pasting on various political forums and the flame wars from both sides have been highly entertaining. I should have just PM'd this to boutons and shared his meltdown.

  5. #5
    Veteran Th'Pusher's Avatar
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    I've been copy/pasting on various political forums and the flame wars from both sides have been highly entertaining. I should have just PM'd this to boutons and shared his meltdown.
    What other political forums have you copy/pasted this on?

  6. #6
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ TheSanityAnnex's Avatar
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    What other political forums have you copy/pasted this on?
    You've already shown you know how to search with Google, continue on

  7. #7
    Veteran Th'Pusher's Avatar
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    You've already shown you know how to search with Google, continue on
    ST and AR15 are the only forums that came up, so that made me question the authenticity of your claim that you've been copy/pasting on various political forums and the flame wars from both sides have been highly entertaining.

    I think your lying.

  8. #8
    Believe.
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    aw did your white rich guy not get elected and you're still crying about it? don't worry, another election is coming up, it's gonna be your rich white guy versus some other rich white guy, so at least the other rich guy is white this time. be sure and vote so that when your rich white guy does the things that Obama or really any rich white guy would have done anyway, you can praise him for it. and if your rich white guy doesn't win, you can instead criticize the other rich white guy for doing those things.

  9. #9
    Believe. Blizzardwizard's Avatar
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    They took mah guns

  10. #10
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ TheSanityAnnex's Avatar
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    More guns sold under Obama than any other President. Thanks Obama!

  11. #11
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ TheSanityAnnex's Avatar
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    aw did your white rich guy not get elected and you're still crying about it? don't worry, another election is coming up, it's gonna be your rich white guy versus some other rich white guy, so at least the other rich guy is white this time. be sure and vote so that when your rich white guy does the things that Obama or really any rich white guy would have done anyway, you can praise him for it. and if your rich white guy doesn't win, you can instead criticize the other rich white guy for doing those things.
    I'm neither Democrat or Republican.

  12. #12
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ TheSanityAnnex's Avatar
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    ST and AR15 are the only forums that came up, so that made me question the authenticity of your claim that you've been copy/pasting on various political forums and the flame wars from both sides have been highly entertaining.

    I think your lying.
    I think your googling sucks.

  13. #13
    Alleged Michigander ChumpDumper's Avatar
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    More guns sold under Obama than any other President. Thanks Obama!
    So Obama didn't take any guns and people were stupidly afraid of him.

  14. #14
    Veteran Th'Pusher's Avatar
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    I think your googling sucks.
    Then please point me to all these highly entertaining flame wars the op set off. I'd love to read them.

  15. #15
    Old fogey Bender's Avatar
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    in his lame duck period, he will inflict what pain he can on gun owners

  16. #16
    Alleged Michigander ChumpDumper's Avatar
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    in his lame duck period, he will inflict what pain he can on gun owners
    Nah, you guys got all worked up for nothing.

    It's legacy time, so Iran, education and immigration are the issues he will choose to work on.

  17. #17
    Deandre Jordan Sucks m>s's Avatar
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    in his lame duck period, he will inflict what pain he can on gun owners
    He'd better watch his ass, Netanyahu gonna take him down if he doesn't watch himself

  18. #18
    Veteran Wild Cobra's Avatar
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    What web site is portraying that as real and genuine?

  19. #19
    Alleged Michigander ChumpDumper's Avatar
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    He'd better watch his ass, Netanyahu gonna take him down if he doesn't watch himself
    How would he do that?

  20. #20
    I am that guy RandomGuy's Avatar
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    So Obama didn't take any guns and people were stupidly afraid of him.
    Pretty much. One can only wonder what might have been accomplished had all that hysteria been channeled into something productive.

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