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  1. #1
    Mr. John Wayne CosmicCowboy's Avatar
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    My wife has been driving for 40 years and never got a ticket.

    She's driving this morning and a dove hits her windshield and she kind of freaks out. It killed the bird and it was stuck on her windshield. She said she just wanted it gone so she turned on the windshield wipers and then it kind of got stuck under the left wiper and it was rubbing the bird back and forth, smearing blood on her windshield.

    My wife is a neat freak and keeps her car spotless. So she is freaking out about the dead bird and the smeared blood. So she cranks up the wipers all the way and it literally throws the bird off her car and into the lane next to her.

    It's a two lane and the dove hits the oncoming car right in the windshield and it turns out to be a sheriff that whips a Uey, turns on the lights and pulls her over.

    He chewed her out for a few seconds and then wrote her a ticket.

    Unbelievable! She will be fighting this one even if we have to hire a lawyer.

  2. #2
    All Hail the Legatron The Reckoning's Avatar
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  3. #3
    No darkness Cry Havoc's Avatar
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    So as opposed to pulling off to the side of the road, she launched a projectile at high speed across a lane of traffic? If the oncoming car thought it was something heavy they might have swerved to avoid it.

    A ticket isn't entirely necessary but I completely understand the cop's position. Probably scared the crap out of him. I doubt the court is going to let this ticket go unless the cop fails to show up.

  4. #4
    Veteran cantthinkofanything's Avatar
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    My wife has been driving for 40 years and never got a ticket.

    She's driving this morning and a dove hits her windshield and she kind of freaks out. It killed the bird and it was stuck on her windshield. She said she just wanted it gone so she turned on the windshield wipers and then it kind of got stuck under the left wiper and it was rubbing the bird back and forth, smearing blood on her windshield.

    My wife is a neat freak and keeps her car spotless. So she is freaking out about the dead bird and the smeared blood. So she cranks up the wipers all the way and it literally throws the bird off her car and into the lane next to her.

    It's a two lane and the dove hits the oncoming car right in the windshield and it turns out to be a sheriff that whips a Uey, turns on the lights and pulls her over.

    He chewed her out for a few seconds and then wrote her a ticket.

    Unbelievable! She will be fighting this one even if we have to hire a lawyer.
    total bull

  5. #5
    Banned
    Post Count
    49,723
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    Tell the wife this....

    Honey, the next time that happens, pull over, get out and remove the bird. I'll buy you a pair of gloves to keep in the car just in case that ever happens again.

  6. #6
    A neverending cycle Trainwreck2100's Avatar
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    So she turned a dangerous situation into a more dangerous situation. And got a ticket for ut

  7. #7
    Veteran lil'mo's Avatar
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    This joke is poorly paraphrased

  8. #8
    Mr. John Wayne CosmicCowboy's Avatar
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    not very funny. we are fighting it.

  9. #9
    No darkness Cry Havoc's Avatar
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    Tell the wife this....

    Honey, the next time that happens, pull over, get out and remove the bird. I'll buy you a pair of gloves to keep in the car just in case that ever happens again.
    So she turned a dangerous situation into a more dangerous situation. And got a ticket for ut

  10. #10
    right about pizzagate Blake's Avatar
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    What was the ticket for exactly?

    i don't see it sticking like the bird did

  11. #11
    Mr. John Wayne CosmicCowboy's Avatar
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    What was the ticket for exactly?

    i don't see it sticking like the bird did
    Flipping him the bird.

    Happy 4/1/2015

  12. #12
    right about pizzagate Blake's Avatar
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    Flipping him the bird.
    Lol.

    seriously, what was the ticket for

  13. #13
    Club Rookie of The Year DJR210's Avatar
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    Texas Penal Code 147.8 specifically states that you may never use your windshield wipers to launch dead birds at oncoming traffic. Your wife is wrong for that, and I hope she is prosecuted to the highest extent of the law.

    God bless.

  14. #14
    I play pretty, no? TeyshaBlue's Avatar
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    *April Rimshot*

  15. #15
    Veteran cantthinkofanything's Avatar
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    Lol.

    seriously, what was the ticket for
    probably pros ution

  16. #16
    Mr. John Wayne CosmicCowboy's Avatar
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    Lol.

    seriously, what was the ticket for
    April Fools

  17. #17
    All Hail the Legatron The Reckoning's Avatar
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    My wife has been driving for 40 years and never got a ticket.

    dead giveway

  18. #18
    right about pizzagate Blake's Avatar
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    It's so late in the day, forgot all about it.

    side note, please take the dead bird and shove it up your pee hole

  19. #19
    Got Woke? DMC's Avatar
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    April fools

  20. #20
    俺はまんこが大好きなんだよ baseline bum's Avatar
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    Flipping him the bird.

    Happy 4/1/2015
    I was like WTF? What was she doing out of the kitchen? Good one CC.

  21. #21
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ TheSanityAnnex's Avatar
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    Sacramento Kings
    It's so late in the day, forgot all about it.

    side note, please take the dead bird and shove it up your pee hole
    The Kinduru Bird

  22. #22
    U Have Bad Understanding Sportcamper's Avatar
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    I was like WTF? What was she doing out of the kitchen?

  23. #23
    Veteran
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    Flipping him the bird.

    Happy 4/1/2015
    I lol'ed. Good one CC.

  24. #24
    my unders, my frgn whites pgardn's Avatar
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    My wife has been driving for 40 years and never got a ticket.

    She's driving this morning and a dove hits her windshield and she kind of freaks out. It killed the bird and it was stuck on her windshield. She said she just wanted it gone so she turned on the windshield wipers and then it kind of got stuck under the left wiper and it was rubbing the bird back and forth, smearing blood on her windshield.

    My wife is a neat freak and keeps her car spotless. So she is freaking out about the dead bird and the smeared blood. So she cranks up the wipers all the way and it literally throws the bird off her car and into the lane next to her.

    It's a two lane and the dove hits the oncoming car right in the windshield and it turns out to be a sheriff that whips a Uey, turns on the lights and pulls her over.

    He chewed her out for a few seconds and then wrote her a ticket.

    Unbelievable! She will be fighting this one even if we have to hire a lawyer.
    Holy .

    How bad would I want to have been there? Very, very bad.
    Thats unadulterated comedy.

    Did he call your wife a little pumpkin pie-headed freak...
    Holy crap what a fantastic day in the life of police relations.
    Btw, the description was A+

  25. #25
    my unders, my frgn whites pgardn's Avatar
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    Totally sucked me in and I don't care who knows about it.

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