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rakaruva
Originally Posted by lakaluva
Gentlemen, I greet you here at Spurstalk.com on the world wide web in the year of our Lord, two thousand and eleven. First, I would like to thank you, the gentlemen in purple and gold for inviting me here to speak and assist you on this very serious topic at hand. I am here to help you solve our problem with spurstalk troll slaves. Your invitation reached me while I was on vacation in Oakland, CA viewing my Raiders whoop the living out of some Jets. It was there that I witnessed some of the newest and oldest methods of controlling another teams fans. It is with great pleasure that I share with you these methods. Rome would envy us.
I HAVE A FULL PROOF METHOD FOR CONTROLLING THE SPURSTALK COMMUNITY. I guarantee every one of you that, if installed correctly, IT WILL CONTROL THIS WEBSITE FOR AT LEAST 300 HUNDREDS YEARS. My method is simple. I HAVE OUTLINED A NUMBER OF DIFFERENCES AMONG THE TROLL SLAVES; AND I TAKE THESE DIFFERENCES AND MAKE THEM BIGGER. I USE FEAR, JEALOUSY, DISTRUST AND ENVY FOR CONTROL PURPOSES. These methods have worked in Oakland for some time now, and Los Angeles before that. You or your team need not be winners of any championships for these methods to be carried out and placed into affect... if done properly. The spurstalk troll slaves after receiving this indoctrination shall carry on and will become self-refueling and self-generating for HUNDREDS of years, maybe THOUSANDS.
LET'S MAKE A SPURSTALK SLAVE
The first lesson for you to learn is the power of insults. INSULT, INSULT, INSULT! Never have a word nice to say. If you become keen, and clever with your insulting, the troll slave will spend most of his waking hours simmering over how small you made him/her feel in front of their very own community. That's if you've insulted properly.
Play the devil's advocate. Put GNSP vs BNSP. Make them fight. Example: Comment on how stupid BNSP is, and how his/her level of stupidity is even lower than GNSP. BNSP is so gullible and full of self-pride, that he/she will rest at nothing to prove that they are not as stupid as GNSP. In return, if fueled timely and correctly, GNSP will respond by trying to prove his worth in front of the community, proving to be just as stupid as their counterpart, BNSP. In-house quarreling has caused the downfall of many a great nations.
Flirt with their women, even the unattractive and repulsive ones. Jealousy is a tool that has stood the test of time and works on the brain like cancer, especially if you can get to the patriarch. There is no cure for it. By flirting with their women you leave them in a desperate state of mind, wondering, just how in the will they reproduce themselves. Keep in mind, this is a self-conscience bunch. They have not the courage to lift themselves up and pursue other woman, leaving them to themselves, which can only result in total gotry. Sodom wouldn't stand a chance against these heathens if this method is implemented correctly.
Break the strong and wild ones of the community (midnightpulp, leetonidas, and others). Isolate these wild and savage bucks from the weak ones. Tar and feather them with insults. Never refer to them by their chosen names. If one is 5'2, spread rumors that he is 4'2 It is only a mater of time before it is accepted as fact. Make strong sexual advances towards them, forcing them to question their manhood, which will also force the weaker ones to question their manhood as well. If done so properly, GNSP will sit back and view this in awe, always second guessing himself when they get the urge to defend the community. After 21 days of this abuse, not only will he lose confidence in himself, but the community will lose confidence in him as well. DPG, and Chumper are perfect examples of the outcome of this method. Tired, beat down, and hopeless is how they'll feel.
Last, but not least, my friends, belittle and minimize the accomplishments of their heroes. By doing so you leave them without hope, without faith, in total chaos. This method must be used on a 24/7 basis. It is critical to our success to minimize even the smallest achievements. Where there is no hero, there is no hope, no faith, no honor.
Gentlemen, these kits are your keys to control, use them. Have your wives and children use them. Never miss an opportunity. My plan is guaranteed, and the good thing about this plan is that if used intensely for one year, the spurstalk slaves themselves will remain perpetually distrustful and faithful to our cause. You may not even be present and your name will live on as if you were here on a daily basis. THE ULTIMATE GOAL IS TO REPLACE THEIR HEROES... WITH YOU! I am living proof!!!
Sincerely,
Lakaluva
rakaruva
Blessed are those who were here in person to witness the collapse of lakaluva. Fastest, hardest free fall in ST history.
tl;dr
good times...good times
You wouldn't want to know...
Both you, and Cully mastered these tools. Lkrfan has soldiered well but his insults are slacking. If you study the knowledge I left in this post you'll find great wisdom that never fails when applied properly. You can also apply my methods in any setting... church, school, workplace, family reunions, and what have you. Continue the good fight, and share this knowledge with the next wave of Glorious Laker Fans.
Last edited by Buddy Mignon; 11-15-2013 at 02:09 PM.
It was AWESOME!
This method you explain is basic naruto. This is the you learn from trolling 101. And either way you always get you ass handed to you by spurfan. God dam no wonder people don't take you serious around here.
....
Do you wish you could play with Kobe?
You mean basketball? I already have at his basketball camps many times....
When I take a break... they make claims I'm every other poster. When Kool takes off they claim they're bored. When Thread takes off they literally beg him to return. I'd say my methods work pretty well.
Lakaluva
...
Pretty sure these are his 10 new "rules"
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