Star Wars: The last Jedi *** SPOILERS, probably ***

[redzero]

How can Nolan compete with Rian Johnson? Where were the Porgs™ in Dunkirk? Where were the yo mama jokes? Where were the purple-haired women in charge of the silly men? Where were the completely pointless sideplots that existed solely to pad the runtime?

How could Nolan ever hope to match the subtlety of Star Wars The Last Jedi™?

[Spurtacular]

going berserk and slashing a guy's hand off = briefly tempted to kill

You keep bringing that up like it's some grand point. It was in the midst of a light saber battle, bro. And in case you forgot, Vader slashed Luke's hand off at one point. It seems like a slash or be slashed encounter, frankly.

And that Luke was "tempted to kill" is overstated if not frankly conjecture on your part. He said from the start that his mission was to save his father, and he pretty well stuck to that.

[Spurtacular]

Rey being used by the force to combat Snoke/Ren despite never using a lightsaber = huge Mary Sue

Yea, who needs ing training. That's not how it works in the real world or anything. That's not even how it had worked in the Star Wars universe; but you know, just put forth a nonsensical denial to save you.

Luke being used by the force to take down a Death Star despite never flying in an X-Wing = no problem

Luke had experience as a land speeder racer; he was supposedly quite prodigious at it, too.

[Spurtacular]

I can’t stand these new Star Wars movies that have overpowered characters, plot holes, pointless subplots, and characters who only exist to sell toys! I like the old Star Wars movies with overpowered characters, plot holes, pointless subplots, and characters who only exist to sell toys! Disney for ruining Star Wars! ”

Today’s redzero

Trying to equate the classic Star Wars to Snowflake Wars.

[Chucho]

Stop being a pissy-eyed got, mono.

Wait, what? He hasn't always been a pissy-eyed got with rage issues?

[Spurtacular]

Snowflakes couldn't even stick to their "it's the patriarchy" schtick.
Had to make sure women were represented in leadership roles in The First Order
Captain Phasma and all her dumb-ass lines.

[Spurtacular]

Rose can talk to Chewie cos you!
Move over Fin, time for the maid to fly this bird!
Too many to list!

[Cuppycake Gumdrop]

Wait, what? He hasn't always been a pissy-eyed got with rage issues?

Don’t you have forums to creepily lurk at for decades before making a post?

[Chucho]

Don’t you have forums to creepily lurk at for decades before making a post?

Don't let me stop you from your alt-rotating routine, you Fabbs-esque weirdo.

[Cuppycake Gumdrop]

How can Nolan compete with Rian Johnson? Where were the Porgs™ in Dunkirk? Where were the yo mama jokes? Where were the purple-haired women in charge of the silly men? Where were the completely pointless sideplots that existed solely to pad the runtime?

How could Nolan ever hope to match the subtlety of Star Wars The Last Jedi™?

The British just run away from the Germans the whole movie, how can you like a movie where the bad guys win at the end
The kid jumps on the ship to help, does nothing useful, and then he just dies. Pointless!
Disney using Star Wars to pimp their brand and sell toys. Nolan doesn’t do that because he has integrity! Can’t wait to see his next movie exclusively on IMAX™ 70mm! Irony? What? Nope don’t see any there!

[Cuppycake Gumdrop]

Don't let me stop you from your alt-rotating routine, you Fabbs-esque weirdo.

“ I don’t know if I can post here yet, I’m just not ready. I need to train for 9 more years before I can finally have the strength!”

[Chucho]

“ I don’t know if I can post here yet, I’m just not ready. I need to train for 9 more years before I can finally have the strength!”

LOL.

" I don't know how to deal with differing opinions. Let me withdraw into my fantasy closet of alts!"

[Chucho]

Mono melting down. Treading into Fabbs territory. Don't be afraid of other people with different opinions, you still have your alts as security blankets and making things up to help you cope.

YOU ARE AWESOME!

[Cuppycake Gumdrop]

“ I’ll show them all! I’m a good poster! I’m a smart boy! I just need 8 more years of lurking to finally become a real SpursTalk poster!”

[Spurtacular]

I can’t stand these new Star Wars movies that have overpowered characters, plot holes, pointless subplots, and characters who only exist to sell toys! I like the old Star Wars movies with overpowered characters, plot holes, pointless subplots, and characters who only exist to sell toys! Disney for ruining Star Wars! ”

Today’s redzero

Maybe the fail of the day, tbh. On Christmas, 1977 kids awoke to vouchers for toys to be delivered months away because nobody anticipated the demand for toys. And the movie studio gave Lucas the rights to merchandising on a throwaway cos they didn't expect much of it. That's basically how the guy became a billionaire.

[redzero]

The British just run away from the Germans the whole movie, how can you like a movie where the bad guys win at the end
The kid jumps on the ship to help, does nothing useful, and then he just dies. Pointless!
Disney using Star Wars to pimp their brand and sell toys. Nolan doesn’t do that because he has integrity! Can’t wait to see his next movie exclusively on IMAX™ 70mm! Irony? What? Nope don’t see any there!

you are comparing a movie based on a true story to Star Wars
knocking Nolan for expository dialogue when The Last Jedi has some of the most cringeworthy expository dialogue in recent memory
calling any plotline in Dunkirk "pointless," when every single one of them converged in the climax and tied everything together

Why were there no Porgs™ in Tom Hardy's plane to lighten the tension? Where were the chubby cheeked Vietnamese girls to tell us how Nazism is BAD?! Not a single creature gets milked in this movie!

the absolute state of Mono

[Chucho]

the absolute state of Mono

Poor bas wishes it was 10 years ago. Mono hanging on when the same types- your Kools, Luvas and Cubbys- have moved on.

[Cuppycake Gumdrop]

Poor bas wishes it was 10 years ago. Mono hanging on when the same types- your Kools, Luvas and Cubbys- have moved on.

knowing all about those guys because you lurked around like Mark David Chapman for a decade

[Chucho]

knowing all about those guys because you lurked around like Mark David Chapman for a decade

Knowing all these guys because you patterned yourself after them for a decade.

[Cuppycake Gumdrop]

you are comparing a movie based on a true story to Star Wars
knocking Nolan for expository dialogue when The Last Jedi has some of the most cringeworthy expository dialogue in recent memory
calling any plotline in Dunkirk "pointless," when every single one of them converged in the climax and tied everything together

Why were there no Porgs™ in Tom Hardy's plane to lighten the tension? Where were the chubby cheeked Vietnamese girls to tell us how Nazism is BAD?! Not a single creature gets milked in this movie!

the absolute state of Mono

resorting to posts like this. Today’s redzero.

See the latest Nolan masterpiece, “People Explaining The Plot While A Loud Ass Hans Zimmer™ Score Blares” exclusively on IMAX™ 70mm, IMAX™ Digital, IMAX™ Laser, IMAX™ Xenon, or IMAX™ non-IMAX™ in 2018!

[Chucho]

LOL, poor Mono needing ST stereotypes to boost his self esteem.

Assuming "lurking" means spending as much time as him on ST.

MonoMeltdown

[Cuppycake Gumdrop]

LOL, poor Mono needing ST stereotypes to boost his self esteem.

Assuming "lurking" means spending as much time as him on ST.

MonoMeltdown

“ only 7 more years before I can finally stand up to mono, I in hate that guy REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

[Chucho]

You don't agree with me.

[Chucho]

“ Gotta boost muh self esteem by establishing ST lifespan importance ”

[Cuppycake Gumdrop]

the kind of people who creepily lurk on internet forums for a decade before finally posting are the same type that will tuck their between their legs and harvest fat girls in a basement to make a skin suit.