Yea. You can imagine how ing upset he would get
and that's after a full day of having to pick duct tape out of his socks, underwear, and bread.
I probably think too much about it but I can see him going through a whole day of that inconvenience then finally getting time to himself. Grabbing a Pabst and sitting down to listen to his Creed tape. Only to be interrupted by Judy's sweet nothings in the middle of his jams.
How was Father’s Day Judy?
"CANNNN YOU TAKE MEEE HIIIIIGHHHE..*scrhshs* I love you, Larry*scrshhsh*EERRRR."
Dear Diary,
What a crazy weekend. We had everyone over for father's day except the blessings and Chris. Les said they had a bug.
Anyway, I made my famous Pizza Lasagna. Although I gave it a twist this year. Instead of using Totinos Pepperoni for every layer, I used Pepperoni for the top, Cheese for the middle, and Mexican Style for the bottom.
Although I didn't dare tell Larry about that bottom layer!
Since Stan doesn't have a father, we had him come over as well. He was so thankful that he brought a whole case of beer! By the time I went to bed, Larry, Stan and Mason were singing old Poison songs. It made my heart smile with happiness to see them all having so much fun. Mason really seems to look up to Stan. I'm hoping he will be a good influence. This morning when I was making PopTarts, I saw Stan come out of Mason's room and sneak out the front door. I guess he was embarrassed how drunk he was. But it was so nice of Mason to let him share his room.
I was hoping to give Larry a little extra something when he came to bed but at some point, he stooled himself and I couldn't bring myself to touch him down there.
I never got around to making Larry his surprise videos but maybe for his birthday next month.
Since Stan doesn’t have a father
singing poison songs
Dear Diary,
Life has been pretty dull lately.
Stan FINALLY came over yesterday. I think he must ride by and see when Larry's not home. I don't know what happened between them but they never hang out together anymore.
And Stan keeps asking weird questions about Larry and Little Reuben.
So anyway, Stan came over with some delicious wine coolers and we watched Judge Judy on the couch. But you know me and wine coolers! I fell asleep by the end of the show. When I woke up Stan was gone and I was so sad because I thought I'd been a terrible host.
But later on, Stan came out of Mason's room and seemed really happy. I think they are really bonding and I'm hoping that Stan can fill that father role that Larry seems to have so much trouble with.
Looking forward to tomorrow. Les is coming over and we're going to have ladie's day! Shopping spree, lunch, and bingo practice!
Talk soon dear friend.
Stan is banging Mason? Jesus H. Christ, six. :rofl
well...after her Father's Day entry, this shouldn't come as a surprise.
Nice plot twist, tbh...
Dear Diary,
Well Stan had sure been coming over a lot. I'm so happy that Mason finally has a strong father figure in his life. The downside is that I don't get to spend much time with Stan when he's here.
Oh...friend...I have to tell you an embarrassing story.
Yesterday Stan was hanging out with Mason in his room and watching movies. I went back to take them some of my famous nachos. When I opened the door, I saw Stan showing Mason how to put on a condom. I thought that was so cute. Little Mason putting a condom on Stan's erect (and large...tee hee) peepee. I thought it was so sweet. Until Mason yelled "shut the door you c**t." But still it was cute.
Stan was so embarrassed that he didn't even tell me bye.
I can't wait to tell Les.
What a plot twist. We were all expecting Stan to be plowing Judy, but it was Mason all along
What are you doing for 4th of July, Judy Booty?
I bet she's busy but might provide her plans tomorrow.
you eat more weenie than Joey Chestnut
Dear Diary,
Oh…I’m so excited about tomorrow. Happy Birthday America!!!
So can you keep a secret dear friend? Les found $50 in Chris’s jean pocket last week and is going to use it for beer and food for all of us. Les just says he’ll have to do without his meth this week. That made me laugh! I don’t know where he gets that kind of money but I’m glad that Les and the blessings have such a good earner to take care of them.
So we’re going to have a good old fashion grill party. Hopefully Stan remembers to bring his Foreman over. If not, we’ll have to just use Les’s and do four burgers at a time. I forgot that I ruined ours by printing T-shirts last Christmas.
I’m hoping that Larry lets us have watermelon this year. He says it’s ***** food. But maybe I just will buy it without telling him.
I need to find something for the blessings to do. I found some kind of ball game in Mason’s room but I’m not sure how it works. It’s a leather ring with a ball attached in the middle. He’ll have to show us how it works.
Ok…gotta run to the store and pick up some mayo and Cheez Wiz for my famous nachos.
So excited!!!
mason's toy
Judy, what are yall doing for Larry's birthday?
Dear Diary,
Oh friend, what a terrible 4th of July weekend I've had. I'm finally able to talk to you about it. But as of now, no one in the family is talking to each other.
Things started off great. Stan came over with his Foreman grill. Les brought hers as well with lots of burgers and hot dogs. She also brought a case of beer and some wine coolers.
The good book says that alcohol is the devil's tears and he laughs when you drink them. Amen to that.
All the boys started drinking around 10 IN THE MORNING. Normally, we don't let Mason drink but Stan said it would be OK for this special occasion. Well by 11, they were all drunk. Larry, Stan, Mason, and Chris.
Things got bad really quick. Larry put in his VCR tape of Barney so the blessings could have something to do. But Mason wanted to watch Shaft which Stan had brought over. They all started cussing at each other.
I sent the blessings to hang out in Mason's room. Me and Les started grilling the hotdogs but when I asked who was hungry, Chris said, "no one you stupid ". About that time, Big blessing came out of Mason's room with his
ball game. But she had it wrapped around her head. And for some reason Les got really angry. She threw the game at Mason and then stormed off with the girls. She didn't even tell Chris who was in the bathroom.
So now Chris is super mad and says (forgive my language) " it". And then he plops down on the couch and starts injecting something into his arm.
It was too much for me so I had a couple of wine coolers and then went back and tried to make peace. So I asked Larry what he wanted for his birth day. And forgive me for the following...but here's where things started to get really bad.
Me: So Larry, what do you want for your birthday?
Chris: He wants a couple of 5th graders and some Astro Glide.
Larry : you Chris. You're a goddamned druggie.
Stan: Hey Larry, know what I'm going to do for your birthday?
Larry: What's that Stan
Stan: I'm gonna your son in the ass
Larry: you stan
Then Mason starts laughing and puts his toy around his head and starts chewing on the ball part and making grunts.
At that point, I went back and had some more wine coolers while they all kept shouting at each other.
The next thing I remember is waking up naked on the couch by Chris. I don't feel very good so I go to the bathroom and there's Mason and Stan taking a shower TOGETHER while Larry is passed out on the toilet.
I want back to the bedroom and fell asleep. When I woke, everyone was gone.
I'm praying hard for guidance. I don't understand what's happening.
Last edited by Judy Booty; 07-10-2019 at 11:26 AM.
Holy
A lot of action in this entry. Did Judy and Chris ?
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