A question for the wives in here...

[florige]

*growl*

OK, I am ing tired of this . I pay all the mortgage,bills, insurance etc., buy all the meals when we eat out frequently, and give my wife $2000.00 a month (after taxes) for spending money and household incidentals. She decided a year ago that this just wasn't enough money and she went out and got a full time job. She keeps all her paychecks too.

She just called me in a very pissy, snippy phone call, said the house was a "mess" and said she was taking off work at noon to go home and "clean the house" and was I going to take the afternoon off too to "help"?...WTF????? I am all about helping out around the house...I do all the yard work, make the bed, sweep and mop at least 1/3 of the time, send most of my clothes to the cleaners and pay for that...

! Despite my callous postings sometimes I'm no chauvinist pig...I respect her work and thats about all we talk about anymore...but I have mine too and it pays the bills...Just because I'm self employed doesn't mean that it doesn't cost me money to take off...

Am I unreasonable to think that this demand was a little over the top?

2k a month!?? Geee Wizz dude what are you part owner for the Spurs or something?

[BeerIsGood!]

Because most of us have known CC for a long time.

One of my good friends that I knew very well was a completely different person behind closed doors with his family. It all came out in the open recently that he abused his wife and was verbally abusive to his young son, but every time I was around he seemed like a normal guy with normal anger responses.


Unless you live with him, you never know...

[Kori Ellis]

I could spend 2k easily on food, haircuts, lunch money for kids and other acitivities that revolve around children. Oh and my wine bill is around $100/month.
This doesn't count ANY bills.

Sure but CC's kids are grown up and out of the house. This $2K he gives her is just for her - plus she keeps her own paychecks for herself.

[Kori Ellis]

Interesting how many of the women responed with something along the lines of "Your wife has it good", without ever knowing if the money is all there is. For all we know, he could treat her horribly and never pay any attention to her, but only one person asked about that...

Interesting...

I've known CC for longer than I've known timvp. So that's why I didn't need to question how he treats her.

[SpursWoman]

Hmmm...THIS the thread that brough User out of his s ???

eh ... drive-by posting, but it's a start.

[Kori Ellis]

One of my good friends that I knew very well was a completely different person behind closed doors with his family. It all came out in the open recently that he abused his wife and was verbally abusive to his young son, but every time I was around he seemed like a normal guy with normal anger responses.


Unless you live with him, you never know...

Sure, but that's an extreme case.

[CavsSuperFan]

Remember when you were dating and your “Gal” went to the gym to stay in shape and she was nice to you and she appreciated the smallest things like a chef salad and a glass of wine...

And remember when she sat right next right to you in your truck and she smelled like fresh daisies and she would tell you what a wonderful hard working guy that you are....And how you couldn’t wait to see her again because she made you feel so happy and important...

Yea...That was cool....(Those days are freaking over)...

[Flea]

Sure but CC's kids are grown up and out of the house. This $2K he gives her is just for her - plus she keeps her own paychecks for herself.

Dang, why is she working?
I would be having lunch with friends all the time. Oh wait, I already do that. Shhhh, don't tell my husband.

[CosmicCowboy]

With the lack of responses from CC, I'm assuming the wife won.

R.I.P.

nope, still here. I just told her I was busy and would help when I got home.

[Kori Ellis]

Dang, why is she working?
I would be having lunch with friends all the time. Oh wait, I already do that. Shhhh, don't tell my husband.

She started working because the 2K wasn't enough

[CosmicCowboy]

Dang, why is she working?
I would be having lunch with friends all the time. Oh wait, I already do that. Shhhh, don't tell my husband.

LOL...thats what she used to do till I canceled all the credit cards about 3 years ago. At least with her working she's not out spending money for 40 hours a week...

[PM5K]

Don't know enough to really say much about the situation but something ain't right that's for sure...

[ducks]

you guys need to put money away and not spend every dime
especially since you are selfemployed

when you are self employed there is no paid vacations
no retirement
you are responisble for everything

[CosmicCowboy]

you are responisble for everything

Gee thanks Ducks. thats exactly what she says!

[ObiwanGinobili]

in our house there is no seperate money.
Whatever paychecks come into *the household* is *our* money for the use of funding *our* exsistance.
When I worked that $$ was OUR money and went into OUR account, and the same with the check *we* recieved from Emo;'s employer.

there is no concept of I in this household when it comes to bills, chores, money or runing of the household type things like soicial schedualing and dry cleaners.
there is just that needs to be done, that needs to be paid, and how can we take care of it.

neither one of us has an allowence. we pay the billd, put $$ in savings, pay for incidentals and the rest is pooled for the family to spend. (ie a toy for the kids, pick up dinner on the way home, emo wants some comics, I need some new pants...)

Where you are coming from in your OP is so forgein to me that I cant; quite give you advice on that particular situation. So I thought i;'d outline how we do it instead.

BTW- if some one was handing me $2k a month (ohmygodthatsa load!) I'd put $600 into groceries, then I;d get a massage, buy a book, and the rest would go into savings.

[CubanMustGo]

Reading stuff like this always makes me realize how lucky I am to have a partner as wonderful as my wife.

We're like Obi, both work, the money goes to benefit the both of us. If we need to make a big expenditure we talk it over. No separate accounts or separate funds. The only thing we have "separate" are retirement accounts because she is self-employed whereas I work for a Fortune 100 firm, but of course the other one is a joint holder.

[Clutch20]

in our house there is no seperate money.
Whatever paychecks come into *the household* is *our* money for the use of funding *our* exsistance.
When I worked that $$ was OUR money and went into OUR account, and the same with the check *we* recieved from Emo;'s employer.

there is no concept of I in this household when it comes to bills, chores, money or runing of the household type things like soicial schedualing and dry cleaners.
there is just that needs to be done, that needs to be paid, and how can we take care of it.

neither one of us has an allowence. we pay the billd, put $$ in savings, pay for incidentals and the rest is pooled for the family to spend. (ie a toy for the kids, pick up dinner on the way home, emo wants some comics, I need some new pants...)

Where you are coming from in your OP is so forgein to me that I cant; quite give you advice on that particular situation. So I thought i;'d outline how we do it instead.

BTW- if some one was handing me $2k a month (ohmygodthatsa load!) I'd put $600 into groceries, then I;d get a massage, buy a book, and the rest would go into savings.

Same here at this house ObiwanGinobili.
But my nephew has the same situation as CosmicCowboy.
CC, little by little close up the faucet using the Cost of Living Index to lower her princely allotments!

[2Blonde]

I don't have an allowance and I think my paycheck goes to paying off his student loans. What's up with that?

Somewhere down that line, I also manage to pay HEB's mortgage too.

...And I'm pretty sure I bought a new deck for my dentist's backyard last year. Complete with a deluxe spa, sauna and landscaping to boot. Or maybe he blew it all on a trip to Hawaii. God damn bills.. I want my mommy!!

[Shelly]

Speaking of lunch, we need to do the ST 'The Kids Are BACK in school lunch' soon!

[1369]

...And I'm pretty sure I bought a new deck for my dentist's backyard last year. Complete with a deluxe spa, sauna and landscaping to boot. Or maybe he blew it all on a trip to Hawaii. God damn bills.. I want my mommy!!

Jim won't let you sunbathe on his deck?

Bas .

[Shelly]

...And I'm pretty sure I bought a new deck for my dentist's backyard last year. Complete with a deluxe spa, sauna and landscaping to boot. Or maybe he blew it all on a trip to Hawaii. God damn bills.. I want my mommy!!

Is your dentist Jim?

[SpursWoman]

Speaking of lunch, we need to do the ST 'The Kids Are BACK in school lunch' soon!

I'm in.

[2Blonde]

I keep trying to figure out how to make them stop eating.

Hahahahahaha...just wait until the boys start showing up at your house. Then your grocery bill will go up by 35-40%. It happened for us when my daughter hit about 14. This summer was really bad though because they seem to be showing up in caravans of 3-5 boys at a time. They stare at my daughter, raid my pantry and then my daughter gets out her guitars and they burrow deep into my brain seeing who can turn the amp up the highest. It's sheer heaven. Kind of like at S y's house.

[1369]

They stare at my daughter, raid my pantry....

$10 says most of the guys on the forum read that just like I did at first.

[Mixability]

My fiancee has already set the rules:

What's mine is hers and what's hers is hers.

[2Blonde]

One of my good friends that I knew very well was a completely different person behind closed doors with his family. It all came out in the open recently that he abused his wife and was verbally abusive to his young son, but every time I was around he seemed like a normal guy with normal anger responses.


Unless you live with him, you never know...

That pretty much describes my ex-husband to tee. People were so SHOCKED!!! when the truth came out. Everyone thought he adored me and cherished the ground I walked on. What a crock.

One thing I did learn was how to spot the signs of an abusive man and I have to say that I have never even once seen anything in CC's behavior that would make me raise a red flag. He's just venting and she's having a bad day/week whatever IMO.

[Shelly]

Hahahahahaha...just wait until the boys start showing up at your house. Then your grocery bill will go up by 35-40%. It happened for us when my daughter hit about 14. This summer was really bad though because they seem to be showing up in caravans of 3-5 boys at a time. They stare at my daughter, raid my pantry and then my daughter gets out her guitars and they burrow deep into my brain seeing who can turn the amp up the highest. It's sheer heaven. Kind of like at S y's house.

After spending the money on drums (which I told someone who shall remain nameless not to), he's lost interest. He blames the neighbor (the guitarist) for never wanting to practice. Now the neighbor is supposed to be teaching the neighbor on the other side and her friend how to play guitar and bass.

In other words, it's been very quiet at my house.

[Shelly]

I'm in.

Let's shoot for something in September.

[2Blonde]

Speaking of lunch, we need to do the ST 'The Kids Are BACK in school lunch' soon!

You name the date & time, sweetie.

Let's shoot for something in September.

Sounds good to me.

[2Blonde]

After spending the money on drums (which I told someone who shall remain nameless not to), he's lost interest. He blames the neighbor (the guitarist) for never wanting to practice. Now the neighbor is supposed to be teaching the neighbor on the other side and her friend how to play guitar and bass.

In other words, it's been very quiet at my house.

Lucky you.... My daughter sang and played her guitar at a benefit last weekend and may have some more stuff coming up so It's never too quiet around here.

[SpursWoman]

$10 says most of the guys on the forum read that just like I did at first.

panties?

[2Blonde]

Well I'm off to spend his/mine/our money at DSW. Gotta love that back-to-school shopping.

[ducks]

Gee thanks Ducks. thats exactly what she says!

you are responisble for all your 401 k
your employee does not help you ate all



I know you are just miessing with me

she has got it good
especially being self employed
she knows she will get that much plus bills paid each month

[2Blonde]

panties?

of course... we know what's on his brain.

[SpursWoman]

Well I'm off to spend his/mine/our money at DSW. Gotta love that back-to-school shopping.

Are you sure you want to do that today?? I made the mistake of wanting to run to the Quarry *real quick* to pick up a last minute birthday gift for my DD ... and well, I could have found a lot better way to spend an unexpected 1 1/2 hr lunch break.

[Shelly]

you are responisble for all your 401 k
your employee does not help you ate all



I know you are just miessing with me

she has got it good
especially being self employed
she knows she will get that much plus bills paid each month

psst...ducks.

Those of us that are self-employed know all that already. If not, our businesses would have tanked already!

[Flea]

...And I'm pretty sure I bought a new deck for my dentist's backyard last year. Complete with a deluxe spa, sauna and landscaping to boot. Or maybe he blew it all on a trip to Hawaii. God damn bills.. I want my mommy!!

Don't get me started on the dentist, I have two in braces right now.

[Flea]

Oh and we are self employed and pay for most medical out of pocket. We don't have a nice insurance policy that covers everything.

[Sunshine]

CC. I've known you for 5+ years now, and know you to be nothing but kind, generous and anything BUT a male chauvanist (that's just an online persona ).

She needs to realize how good she's got it. Y'all aren't a couple of young newly married kids who haven't figured out how to manage money. You're a man who has been financially fortunate enough to allow your wife to be a stay at home mom and take care of the kids and have enough left over to enjoy life.

She's come to take this, and you, for granted. Her pissy phone call demand today was totally unreasonable. Now that she's working full-time, and seeming to enjoy her job - which is wonderful! - you need to cut back on the allowance, tell her you're going to use the "extra" money you're saving by cutting the allowance to hire a maid or cleaning service to come to the house a couple of times a month to keep her from stressing about that.

[1369]

panties?

I like the cut of your jib.