Yale Univeristy. No means yes, yes means anal

[MiamiHeat]

[Cry Havoc]

YOUR youth and YOUR internet may revolve around the world of hetero-male privilege, but your generalization of what youth and the internet have become is either offensively faulty or horrific in its small grain of truth.

I agree with what you say about sensitivity being important in certain instances, but at the same time, neither myself nor (presumably) MiamiHeat would ever sexually assault a woman. Is it a joke I would ever make? Probably not. Is it something I still find absurd and humorous at the same time? Sure. I've heard women chanting it before during sports contests, because they find humor in it too.

If people are going to make jokes about 9/11 and Katrina (where thousands of people died, mind you) why do you think you have a case to have this labeled as off-limits to joke about by societal mores? It's just not going to happen, and flailing against people who are just pointing out the humor, even in poor taste, will do no good for the cause. Instead you're going to come across as condescending and antagonistic, which stands little chance of helping your cause and actually a greater probability that people reading the thread will just disregard whatever you have to say.

It's like yelling at an upstanding citizen for owning a handgun because they're used to murder people, even though he's never committed a crime. If you want me to apologize for having a , I can, but I'm not sure why that would be a comfort to you. Humor is one way we deal with discomfort, stress, and tragedy.

[vy65]

YOUR youth and YOUR internet may revolve around the world of hetero-male privilege, but your generalization of what youth and the internet have become is either offensively faulty or horrific in its small grain of truth.

lol angry lesbian.

[Cry Havoc]

Oh, and I was actually re-reading your post and caught this awesome response:

Of course a man who is not traditionally in a position to have to worry about being a victim of sexual assault may be able to laugh at this because it's not a credible threat. Having worked in sexual assault crisis intervention, where the vast majority of survivors that I counseled were assaulted by people they knew (in particular the workplace and school), and being of the gender that is more often the target of assaults like this, I happen to think that it's not "hilarious."

If you have a background in the field, then you shouldn't be making statements like, "Well of course men don't have to worry about sexual assault". That is an equally as insensitive as you are accusing other people in this thread of being. Perhaps even more so, because where as we realize that "No means yes, etc." is 100% joking, you seem to be taking your token statement with absolute sincerity. Which is absurd. Men are sexually assaulted every day in the US, and instead of having a nice cozy sympathy net to catch them and help them through the process, they face ostracism and scorn even from police officers to which they report the crime, to say nothing of the devastating psychological ramifications that every person faces, men get the added bonus of being laughed at by society.

It's amazing how flippant you can be about respecting men, and then expect us in the same breath to be sensitive and compassionate toward gender-specific sexual assault. Do a little research and you'll find volumes of information about cases of sexual assault in men and the societal pressures they have to overcome to deal with it, to say nothing of the mark it leaves on them.

Is it funny? No. Is there still humor to be found in the situations? Well, if people laugh at death, why would this (termed lovingly by the internet as "surprise sex") stop them? Doctors joke about patients dying on a daily basis, as it's the only way to get by. Are you going to run into hospitals and scream at them for being insensitive because they have ~500 humorous acronyms/terms to describe people who are in mortal danger?

By the way, if you ever hear about a doctor discussing an air-conditioner, chances are they aren't talking about a window unit. They're stating that a guy is so full of bullet holes you can practically see through him.

[clambake]

jack was assaulted. this thread is a cry for help.

[Jekka]

Oh, and I was actually re-reading your post and caught this awesome response:



If you have a background in the field, then you shouldn't be making statements like, "Well of course men don't have to worry about sexual assault". That is an equally as insensitive as you are accusing other people in this thread of being. Perhaps even more so, because where as we realize that "No means yes, etc." is 100% joking, you seem to be taking your token statement with absolute sincerity. Which is absurd. Men are sexually assaulted every day in the US, and instead of having a nice cozy sympathy net to catch them and help them through the process, they face ostracism and scorn even from police officers to which they report the crime, to say nothing of the devastating psychological ramifications that every person faces, men get the added bonus of being laughed at by society.

It's amazing how flippant you can be about respecting men, and then expect us in the same breath to be sensitive and compassionate toward gender-specific sexual assault. Do a little research and you'll find volumes of information about cases of sexual assault in men and the societal pressures they have to overcome to deal with it, to say nothing of the mark it leaves on them.

Is it funny? No. Is there still humor to be found in the situations? Well, if people laugh at death, why would this (termed lovingly by the internet as "surprise sex") stop them? Doctors joke about patients dying on a daily basis, as it's the only way to get by. Are you going to run into hospitals and scream at them for being insensitive because they have ~500 humorous acronyms/terms to describe people who are in mortal danger?

By the way, if you ever hear about a doctor discussing an air-conditioner, chances are they aren't talking about a window unit. They're stating that a guy is so full of bullet holes you can practically see through him.

That's a whole lot of inferences that you just made about me and the work that I did.

There is a reason that I said "traditionally." I know that men are sexually assaulted - I responded to many of those cases when I was working in the field. However, "traditionally," because those cases aren't nearly as publicized or normalized in the way that assault against women is, men don't tend to live with the same consciousness about it that women do. I was by no means marginalizing male cases of sexual assault, just pointing out that women tend to be more fearful of it in general. If anything, were a man and a woman subjected to the same assault, a man would probably be more traumatized because it IS more "shameful" in the eyes of social construct (which, incidentally, isn't helped by the misunderstanding that sexual assault is a crime of desire instead of one of power - and the nonstop "banter" of cracks on sexuality in places like this forum).

With regards to your comment about doctors joking about patients dying, I can tell you that in a place like a rape crisis center the humor tends to be pretty dark, because humor IS a great coping mechanism and source for camaraderie, but I never heard anyone make a joke about rape. Not feeling bad for a perpetrator who's getting his pubic hair yanked out for a rape kit? Sure. Schadenfreude when watching officers take a cheap shot on a rapist on SVU? Sure. But we never made light of the suffering that sexual assault survivors endure. I'm pretty sure that none of the other advocates or nurses or survivors with whom I worked would ever call me "flippant."

[MannyIsGod]

lol angry lesbian.