Why Your Team Sucks - 2014 Edition

**The Gemini Method** · 08-27-2014

Pretty much what I expected...funny to read these though!

**Kyle Orton** · 08-27-2014

Someone post the blackskins

**txstr1986** · 08-28-2014

Originally Posted by Kyle Orton

Someone post the blackskins

I don't think they've done the NFC East yet

**The Gemini Method** · 08-28-2014

The Detroit one lol...

DD · 08-28-2014

I feel like Ferguson was a nice prelude to the resumption of our national conversation about Richard Sherman. Is he an asshole or a poet? A comedian or a THUG? Overpaid or REALLY overpaid? Regardless, I'm already sick of him and I hope his hair gets tangled up in a jet engine.

All those penalty flags you've seen this preseason? Those are for Sherman. The Seahawks won a le last year by holding on every play because they knew the refs wouldn't call EVERY hold. And so this preseason represents the NFL's effort to make sure teams stop interfering their way to a Super Bowl victory. The NFL basically just shut down Pete Carroll's entire master strategy, like the Feds shutting down an illegal derivatives-trading firm. It's back to handing out free buckets of ephedrine for you, Pete!

gotdayum

**lefty** · 12-30-2014

Your quarterback: Eli Manning, shown here giving his mom facial cues that it's time for a diapie change …

This man was born concussed. Eli could win another 10 Super Bowls and the prevailing sentiment would still be, "THAT guy won Super Bowls?" Your brain will never be able to compute Eli Manning. God, that face of his. It's as if God himself designed the perfect punchable face. Eli is the kind of guy who probably spends an entire airplane ride staring at the back of the seat in front of him. There's nothing there. Every time I see him on the TV, I want to wave my hand in front of him to see if he can process human movement.

Eli threw 27 picks last season, more than any other QB in the league. He threw five against Seattle alone. If his last name were anything other than Manning, Ryan Nassib would currently be the Giants' starting quarterback. Instead, here the Giants are again, stuck with Eli and Coughlin. Still ing that chicken. Even The Simpsons aren't as stale these days.