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OK.
How do you get a t-sip off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
ha ha ha ha ha thats the funniest one i've heard cause i'd sooner die than let an aggie be my boss
OK.
How do you get a t-sip off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
What does an Aggie graduate say to a t-sip graduate?
"Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?"
So, in a lounge, there were several Ivy League high rollers and an Aggie trying to guess where one another had gone to college.
The first gentleman most agreed was a Harvard man. "That's correct," he said, "what guided you toward that conclusion?" The group pointed toward his ready grasp of complex political issues and his sharp legal mind .
They settled upon a second fellow as a Yale alum. "You've got it," he said. They agreed that his command of the English language, and his nuances in communication both the written and spoken word, pointed toward New Haven.
Next, they settled upon the Aggie. "Texas A&M," they cried in unison. "How did you guess?" queried the Aggie. "Is it my down-to-earth speaking style? Is it my clear-eyed view of the world? Is it my expansive knowledge of chicken anatomy?"
"No," the others replied. "We saw your class ring while you were picking your nose."
A T-sip goes to Aggieland to visit ande Whoop it up with an Ag. The Ag takes him out to the field and they come upon a sheep with her head stuck in the fence.
The Ag pulls down his overalls and goes to town on the sheep.
After he finishes, the Ag looks at the T-sip and says, "Ok cityboy, your turn now!"
The T-sip walks over next to the sheep, pulls down his pants, bends over and sticks his head in the fence...
How do you make Aggie Cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat them for three hours
What does the "N" on Nebraska's helmets stand for?
Nowledge.
So, an Aggie goes to visit his Cajun friend down in New Orleans. They're walking through the French Quarter and happen upon a vegetable stand. The Cajun wants some, so he ambles up and says, "I'da like ta ahrder sem 'taters, sem 'maters, an' sem ahrnyens."
His Aggie friend gives him a disapproving look. "Your diction, it's terrible," he says. "Nobody is ever going to take you seriously as long as you speak like that."
The Cajun rolls his eyes. "Just watch me and learn," says the Aggie.
They come upon another establishment, and the Aggie walks in with the Cajun in tow. The Aggie confidently walks up to the counter to the clerk, stands up straight, and announces in a clear voice, "Good afternoon. I would like to order some potatoes, some tomatoes, and some onions."
The clerk leans across the counter and says, "Hey, you went to Texas A&M, didn't you?" "Why, yes, I did!" beams the Aggie as he looks over at his Cajun friend and winks. "Why do you ask?"
The clerk leans a little lower and says, "Son, this is a furniture store."
Q. How many Aggie engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One, we just stick the bulb up & the earth revolves around us.
Two T-Sip firemen are having carnal relations in a smoke filled house. The Aggie Fire Chief runs over and says, "What in the heck is going on here?" The Top T-Sip exclaims, "This Brother 'Horn has smoke inhalation!"
"Smoke Inhalation?", asks the Aggie Firechief. "You are supposed to render mouth-to-mouth for that!"
The Bottom T-sip exclaims happily, "He did, how do you think we got to this point?"
Hey! That is OUR line we use for our class rings, ya know!!!!!What does the "N" on Nebraska's helmets stand for?
Nowledge.
Q: How many Aggies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 1,001: 1 to hold the bulb and 1000 to rotate the house.
Q: How many Aggies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: I'm not sure, but you get 3 hours of credit for it at A&M.
What comes out of a Chinaman's ass? Rice rice rice
NO...Lice, Lice, Lice!
Rice, Rice, Rice is in a Chinaman's hair...hehehe
A Colorado grad walks into a bar in College Station and orders a white wine. All the good ole boys sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see some pitiful refugee from the north.
The Aggie bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"
The guy says, "No, I'm from Boulder, Colorado, and a proud graduate of the University of Colorado."
The Aggie says, "What do you do in Boulder, Colorado?"
The Buffalo says, "I'm a taxidermist."
The Aggie says, "A taxidermist? What in tarnation is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?"
"No, a taxidermist doesn't drive taxis! I mount animals," sniffed the Colorado grad. The Aggie grins and hollers, "It's okay boys. He's one of us!"
Two T-sips go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods.
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they're driving to Austin they're really depressed. One T-sip turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
The other T-sip says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
There was an Aggie that was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
The Aggie wrote a note saying "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the city playground. Signed, An Aggie."
The Aggie then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the Aggie checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath that pecan tree. The Aggie opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note. The note said, "How could one Aggie do this to another Aggie?"
So, this touristy type fella is driving through the swamps of Louisiana when he happens upon this little store that sells alligator shoes.
He walks on in and looks over their merchandise, shoes, boots, belts, handbags, even coats. He finds a pair of shoes he likes... until he sees the price tag. "Twelve hundred dollars for a pair of damn shoes??!! That's highway robbery!"
The propietor of the business hears him and replies, "It's hard work making those shoes. But, if you're looking for a deal, if you can catch your own alligator, I'll make you a pair of shoes for $200."
The tourist thinks that sounds like a good deal, so the owner outfits him with a set of waders and a club and sends him out in the swamp. "Be careful, though," he says, "I sent a couple of Aggies out this morning and they're still not back yet."
The tourist slowly and carefully walks through the swamp. Everything is eerily still and quiet. After half an hour goes by, he comes upon a thicket and suddenly can hear a terrible ruckus going on somewhere in it! He walks around looking for a clearing, and when he finds one, takes a look inside.
What a spectacle! There's two Aggies in their overalls thrashing about in the muck with a huge alligator. One has his arm wrapped around the gator's jaws while the other is trying to keep a hold of the tail and whack him with the club at the same time! Finally, the gator is exhausted and just collapses.
The Aggies pick him up, look him over, and respond with frustration and exasperation. They each grab an end, and yell, "One, two, three!" before heaving the gator on top of something! The tourist cranes his neck and sees an enormous pile of gators piled up!
One Aggie puts his arm around the other and says, "Y'know, eventually one of these sum es has got to be wearing shoes."
Q: Where was O.J. Simpson headed in the white Bronco?
A: College Station. He knew the police would never look for a Heisman Trophy winner there.
Q : How do you come to own a small business in Texas?
A : Start a large business and put an t.u. grad in charge of it.
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