the chimney...ha ha!
i remember a conversation one time many many years ago when this girl at lunch was talking about her parents being deceased and someone...i don't know who...said something to the effect of...both of them?
'yes.'
what? one of those train wreck deals or what?
'yes.'
cue the tears....
dayum...what were the odds...
OMFG!! I know I shouldn't laugh but what a bizarre thing that is. OMG. It's terrible what happened, but that story is right out of a Seinfeld episode.
I wish I did make it up, but damn what were the odds? I had no clue what had happened and when I found out...damn I was floored. oh well what are you gonna do huh?
That is just unreal.....the odds have to be at least a ga-jillion to one.
No joke...a ga-zillion to one. And the odds of being hit by a train is so random as well. At least I would have thought so until now.
T-Park...in the spirit of the holidays I am actually going to give you a nice and sympathetic response instead of taking advantage of the mul ude of opportunities you just gave me with that post to make fun of you...
It appears that the trigger issue was the spat between you and your father...
Father/son relationships are tough in the best of times...the stress of the holidays just add extra fuel to the potential fire.
There are expectations on both sides of the father/son relationship (especially at your age) that are rarely met...you are still transitioning from the "boy to man" thing in your relationship with him...
What you always have to remember is that both of you are very human...with human problems and human faults. You need to work very hard to temper your expectations and just try to be the "big" person in the relationship...fathers rarely if ever apologize to their sons even if they are dead wrong...
He hurt your feelings and instead of reacting like you would if a friend hurt your feelings and working it out, you reverted to the comfort of the "boy" phase of your relationship and pouted...he then reacted with more frustration, etc...reinforcing the original father/son dominance/submission thing which then fueled your frustration even more...
Next time...get out of this vicious cycle...keep the conversation on the issue (the broken chair) and deal with it just like you would deal with it if you broke a chair at Kori and LJ's house...clean up the mess and offer to replace it with a new one...deal with him like he is your friend and not your father...it will take time but gradually both of you will work through this phase of your relationship...
FYI, this is the "easy" part of the Father/Son transition...hopefully you will have the opportunity to see your parents live to a ripe old age...The transition of power with the son taking over the "man of the family" role with an aging father is MUCH tougher to get through...
Oh yeah...just don't take your parents to Mortons for a "make-up" dinner...you might be having Thanksgiving dinner by yourself at the Jiminez thang next year after they dump you...
Great reply Cowboy, no offense TPark but you do sound like a bratty little kid, I woulda whooped your ass and sent you to your room for the rest of the night for pouting.
I'd have to disagree with this part. The first transition was rough, but finally my Dad accepted me as an adult and I accepted that he wasn't ever going to change. There was about a ten-year period where things went like that. Then, over the last five years, his health has started to wane slightly, and basically when I'm back at home he's been content to turn things over to me (including small things like driving and big things like financial decision).
Course, part of it may be due to the fact that I live 1500 miles away and only get home 2-3 times a year.
Mine isn't giving up anything easily...I'm afraid he is gonna have to screw up and crash his suburban before he even considers giving it up...
Mine is very much like yours Cowboy....and he hasn't given up anything yet.
Mines only given up the "work" stuff like working cattle, etc....at least as long as I will do it for him...
I hope you are under 20, or that story is pretty lame. Sorry it went that way for you, but it. If people are going to get upset over stupid , tell em sorry, and if they are still mad, say it.
Yeah, he doesn't let anyone down. I'm sure the christian god could give a about TPark and his dad pouting about a broken stool.your parents don't hate you man. but there are obviously communication issues.
if you talk with love in your heart, forgiveness in your heart...you'll be able to handle anything that is thrown your way...i know it's hard with family....they are the ones that are supposed to have your back, no matter what....but we are all human...even our parents....we all make mistakes....mine did...but i cannot blame them....i'm too old now.
anything that happens in my life is of my doing. it's all about perspective brother. just close your eyes and remember all the blessings you have in your life. Our TRUE Father is God. And he won't let us down....not ever.
TPark, aren't you in business with your Dad? Maybe there was something else that triggered all this crap with him that you two need to sit down and air out.
Don't sweat anyone giving you over Daddy issues. You'll have them as long as he's your employer. Maybe he's proud of the way you performed a task but it takes too much pride to say that you did something better than him. Or maybe you screwed something up but he doesn't want to belittle you. , I dunno. I'd butt heads with my old man plenty if we worked together. It sounds almost inevitable that some things are going to seep into no-work family time away from what you two do at your job.
cecil, you are a fool. pipe down.
Spoken like an asshole. I think Manny gave you a big pipe down, but you aren't going to are you? Remember, "this is America."
shhh....hush lil baby, don't say a word...goto sleep now...it's almost 10pm...way past your bedtime.
Cute, almost as cute as your schizophrenia.
oooooohhh...good one. dayum...you really OWNED ME there...
RACK CECIL!!!
Jesus loves sarcasm. C'mon, please tell me about how Jesus would love everyone if they were only more sarcastic. Or go down a list of people you love, yet can't button your lip long enough to keep from flinging insults at them.
what do YOU know about Jesus. nothing. pipe down.
True. When I was about 28, I had this terrible fight with my father. We didn't speak for about 3 months. I would go to my parents' house to see my Mom when he was at work or gone somewhere. If I went to the house and his truck was there, I'd just drive on past. If I passed him on the street, I'd drive on and we would not even acknowledge each other. Finally, I realized I had a decision to make. My father was too old (or whatever) to change; if I wanted to have a relationship with my father in particular and my family in general, *I* had to change. I had to decide if I wanted my father in my life or not, and if I did, I had to accept him exactly the way he was. Eventually, I decided I wanted to be part of the family and that I loved my father enough to accept him the way he was. We went on to become better friends than we had ever been. When I moved to McQueeney, I bought a lot that no one had ever lived on. He and I set up that place, and he taught me all kinds of things (that most women never learn - like laying water lines, hooking up septic tanks, digging trenches for electrical conduit, fencing, etc.). And we finally got to know each other.
My Dad passed away in August of 2003. Enjoy your father while you can, TPark. Don't do or say things you will regret if you never get the chance to work them out with him. And never forget that that window of opportunity could close at any moment. And, if you do have a disagreement, apologize even if you believe you are in the right. Anything else is just not worth it.
Last edited by pache100; 12-29-2005 at 10:21 AM.
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