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Damn ... I could have gone down with that one, too.
That's not the punchline I was looking for.
Damn ... I could have gone down with that one, too.
Yes,my friends and I were out past curfew and we were drinking. I kinda resisted arrest, but I all did was call my uncle and he talked to the people here, and all I got was community service and nothing on my record.
Blingy!!!
What? I did nothing wrong.........
Actually, it's spot on advice. He didn't say when they pull you over. He said when you pull over.
I actually did this in Wilson county a couple of years back. Believe it or not, an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond saved my dumb, drunk ass from losing my job.
Back in early November of 2004, I sat and drank (on an empty stomach) a 12 pack of High Life Tall boys while watching the Houston Texans get their asses kicked by somebody. (At the time) Mrs. ASF came home from farting around at some horse show and immediately began nagging me for sitting on my ass all day and watching football, so I got insanely pissed and left the house, ending up (for reasons I can't recall) at some lame ass bar in the Lacks parking lot at Perrin Beitel and 410. I lived in Floresville at the time. Don't ask me how I ended up there. I think I was headed in the general direction of the Make My Day lounge where I used to be a Norm Peterson style regular, but I needed another beer before I got that far.
Anyways, after several more hours of beer chugging and karaoke (which I only know about because a good friend who I drunk dialed on the way showed up to try and rescue my stupid ass), I decided to make my way back to Floresville. I actually made it to just south of FM 775 on 181 (about 7 miles from the house) when I decided I wasn't in any shape to be driving. (DUH!) I pulled off the highway and just before I nodded off, I remembered the episode where Ray's wife goes to some Christmas party by herself and has a few pops then decides to sleep it off in the parking lot, but she puts the keys in the ignition for some reason and gets nailed for DUI.
I yanked the keys from the ignition and tossed them somewhere in the back seat (according to the wrecker driver who admitted to finding them there, but knew nothing of the whereabouts of several cds and a $50 Wal-Mart gift card which disappeared from the center console), and when the sheriff's deputy hauled my carcass out of the car and somehow woke me up to administer the field sobriety test (anyone wanna guess how I did?) he couldn't prove I had driven the car and I only received a Public Intoxication citation, along with the night I had to spend in the Detox Unit (aka Drunk Tank).
WHEW!!!
One Easter when I was a student and notorious binge drinker, I decided to load up my "Destruction Jacket" (it had buttons embossed with little mushroom clouds) with all the stuff I'd need for the weekend and headed out on what I used to call "walkabout" or "safari". I had my wallet, keys, diary, walkman, tapes, a torch, all sorts of other random , and the idea was to simply drink and follow my fortune wherever it took me for the next 48-72 hours.
I left the dorm at 3pm Friday afternoon, and it was about 6:30am Sunday morning when I was found dozing on the pavement outside the GPO in Canberra City by two cops. They threw me in the back of the paddy wagon and took me to the police station. When we got there they gave me an A3 envelope and told me to put my belongings in it. I took one look at the envelope and slurred, "Ish not big enough," as I proceeded to empty my pockets of all the random , my safari gear. The cops pissed themselves laughing and found a milk crate from somewhere.
They let me out about 8 hours later and I still blew 0.12. My liver was sore for about 3 days.
Ah, youth!
One Easter when I was a student and notorious binge drinker, I decided to load up my "Destruction Jacket" (it had buttons embossed with little mushroom clouds) with all the stuff I'd need for the weekend and headed out on what I used to call "walkabout" or "safari". I had my wallet, keys, diary, walkman, tapes, a torch, all sorts of other random , and the idea was to simply drink and follow my fortune wherever it took me for the next 48-72 hours.
I left the dorm at 3pm Friday afternoon, and it was about 6:30am Sunday morning when I was found dozing on the pavement outside the GPO in Canberra City by two cops. They threw me in the back of the paddy wagon and took me to the police station. When we got there they gave me an A3 envelope and told me to put my belongings in it. I took one look at the envelope and slurred, "Ish not big enough," as I proceeded to empty my pockets of all the random , my safari gear. The cops pissed themselves laughing and found a milk crate from somewhere.
They let me out about 8 hours later and I still blew 0.12. My liver was sore for about 3 days.
Ah, youth!
No, you don't understand, Chunks is my dog.
LOL at trying to reason with the actions of a drunk person.
Last time I broke out grammar smack in the Club, I was too drunk to drive.
I guess I was relying on the assumption that before driving to Blockbuster he wasn't drunk, in which case he could have decided to do what I suggested.
I'm quite appalled by the quan y of drink driving that goes on over there... but you guys don't have random breath-testing stations, do you? You have to be specifically pulled over to be tested. Here the cops set up wherever they like and pull over EVERYONE who goes by. Drink driving is pretty taboo.
Three men had a very late night out drinking. They left in the early morning hours and went home separately. They met the next day for an pint, and compared notes about who was drunker.
The first guy claims that he was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home, walked into the house, and as soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks."
"You think that was drunk?" said the second guy. "I got in my car, drove out of the parking lot, and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!"
And the third proclaimed, "I was by far the most drunk. I got home, got in a big fight with my wife, knocked a candle over and burned the whole house down!" There was silence for a moment and then the first guy exclaimed, "Listen, guys, I don't think you understand... Chunks is my dog."
Maybe the greatest joke of the last ten years.
The night started out with Vodka, need I say more. Not really, but I will finish anyways. Some buddies and I started drinking Vodka straight after playing some quarters. We then proceeded to a nightclub which offered .75 drinks till 11pm. We were at the club maybe about 30 min. before one of the staff members noticed we were too drunk. He kicked us out, but I had to piss like a race horse. Since I did not get the opportunity to use their facilities I thought it would be ok to piss in the parking lot. Me and a buddy head over near my car and urinate between some other cars. When out of nowhere there are some kids playing in a nearby Apartment complex at 1230am (who the lets their kids play outside at that time). Dumb luck I guess, needless to say the parents see us and call the nearby security guard around the corner. The guard holds us there until the cops get there. We get taken to detox downtown with some other crazy drunks and we get released in the morning. Since only two of us got taken in, my other "buddy" was suppose to take my car home. Instead he headed to a girls house and stayed the night there. I had to take a cab home and break into my apartment window since he had my keys. Probably the worst night of my life.
Update: After 3 years of going to court once every 3 months or so I finally got my trial. I got lucky as it somehow got downgraded to Obstruction of Highway Passageway. Not too lucky as I got 2 years of Probation which includes NO DRINKING, drug tests, no leaving Galveston County, 24 hours of community service, and 12 hours of alcohol school. It could've been worse. Just glad I didn't get more jail time. 1 day of was enough.
NO LEAVING THE ING COUNTY? Judge didn't do you any favors ...
For more than 72 hours I meant. Still the most painful thing is not being to drink any alcohol and random drug tests could catch me if I tried. Not likely but I don't want to take any chances. Oh yeah, I also can't go to any bars.
Quit drinking and driving 15 years ago, PTL
Have I ever BEEN arrested?
Sorta... thrown in the drunk tank, but not arrested. It was okay. When they let me out 8 hours later I was still blowing 0.12... my liver hurt for days.
Oh, and I wasn't driving, just napping on the sidewalk.
Too many times. I am far too familiar with county jails and mexican jails. I'll take county over mexican any day.
Never had my liver hurt, thank God!!
What's that like?
I got arrested because my package was too big
Who the falls alseep in the parking lot at blockbuster?
Yeah, it ain't pretty. And you can't do anything about it either. Basically you just feel weak and feverish and it sucks...Never had my liver hurt, thank God!!
What's that like?
If you extrapolate back, I must have peaked at 0.30-0.35 BA% when they too k me in, which is bordering on the death threshold (about 0.35-0.40 I think). If I wasn't a big drinker at the time (my body was well adjusted to binge drinking, sadly), and 6'7" to boot, I could well have killed myself.
Thankfully that was 10 years ago when I was young and foolish and I lived to tell the tale. But if I develop liver cancer, I'll know from whence it came...
Norcal -
I have luckily never been arrested. I get drunk and drive all of the time too. Here is what I drank Saturday and drove the whole time...
4 - 6 PM: 6 pack of Corona at the hotel
7 - 8 PM: 2 Miller lites at friend's house
8:30 - 10:30: 1 dirty martini, 2 bloody maries, 2 glasses of red wine at the restaurant
11:00 - 12:30: 3 miller lites, 1 purple gecko at the bar (Molotov)
12:45 - 1:15: 2 Coronas at the hotel room
I felt pickled all day Sunday...
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