An uncomfortable quandary

[Sunshine]

I sense a married woman!!!

Ha! Not yet....but I have a lot of married friends.

[Findog]

I wouldn't tell his wife. If it leads to a divorce, then those kids are going to have to deal with a broken marriage. Unless things in the home are chaotic and ugly, then it's better to stay together until after they're out of high school. Ultimately he has to look in the mirror and deal with his conscience. Don't get in the middle of it.

[Findog]

Oh, and just ask him to hook you up with the info. What can it hurt? All he has to do is say no.

[SpursWoman]

Anyway ... poor Mrs. Chopper. Did she let one rip in front of you or something?

[ploto]

You never know what is really going on in someone else's relationship, no matter how it looks from the outside.

[Jimcs50]

Opportunity is knocking, Chopper.

Now you have an excuse for banging his wife.

[Bigzax]

gimme the wifes number!

[ShoogarBear]

First thing I did was scroll down to the bottom of the post.

No Fresh Prince ending.

Guess I'll go back and read it now.

[ShoogarBear]

Although I must admit, I did look for the Fresh Prince ending first.

[ShoogarBear]

me, too.

[ShoogarBear]

[ShoogarBear]

aw, . . .

[Dex]

Shoog goin for 30,000 tonight.

[spursfan09]

To all those women talking about this guy, let me ask you a question. Say two people are in a happy, healthy relationship. Now let's say that due to some freak accident one of those people is unable to have sex anymore. Should his or her spouse become celibate for the rest of their lives?

If you answered yes to that question you live in a fairytale ing world, let me tell you. I'm not saying what this dude is doing is necessarily right, and to be honest, it does seem like the dude has gone through a lot of trouble to make himself feel better about what is essentially good old fashioned cheating. Having said that, I can't imagine having to go through a whole year without sex, and then only once every three months. That's NOT healthy. ! Its downright painful!

I feel for both them really. The woman has serious psychological problems, and the dude is suffering because of them. Sure his solution is bull , but his problem is a very real one.

I'm just curious as to what people here would do in his situation. What would be the right thing to do here IYO?

Get a divorce then. Then he can live his life however he wants to and the wife can move on with hers.

[exstatic]

While I think this whole thing is a joke of some kind, I will answer your question since it was posed seriously.

Not having sex or not having it frequently enough is a big problem in a marriage. However, if he was really her best friend and cared for her, he would have tried counseling before running off and sticking his nob in a bunch of pros utes.

His "solution" was no solution at all. A solution implies you tried to work out a problem. He did no such thing, he ran away from his problem instead like a selfish idiot who thinks he was the only one "suffering" from their problem. I would bet cash money the wife is suffering more.

RIF. They did see a counselor. She's fine with the amount of sex they are having. That makes one of them.

Ladies, you're allowed to be sick or have the occasional headache, but once every 2-3 months isn't enough to keep a fly alive, let alone a man's penis. I personally probably would have filed for divorce, but not having kids, I probably don't have a handle on that whole thing.

I also think the school of thought "I'm not giving you any, but you better not be getting it anywhere else" is as selfish as anything I've ever heard attributed to a man.

[Jimcs50]

RIF. They did see a counselor. She's fine with the amount of sex they are having. That makes one of them.

Ladies, you're allowed to be sick or have the occasional headache, but once every 2-3 months isn't enough to keep a fly alive, let alone a man's penis. I personally probably would have filed for divorce, but not having kids, I probably don't have a handle on that whole thing.

I also think the school of thought "I'm not giving you any, but you better not be getting it anywhere else" is as selfish as anything I've ever heard attributed to a man.

I agree...but guys will around no matter how often they are getting it at home.

[baseline bum]

Get a divorce then. Then he can live his life however he wants to and the wife can move on with hers.

Minus 1/2 his bank account.

[ploto]

Minus 1/2 his bank account.

Who knows- she could make more money than him.

[tlongII]

I agree...but guys will around no matter how often they are getting it at home.

True dat.

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

This guy went to a lot of trouble to fill a void in his life without sacrificing his wife to the fire by having a real relationship with either a local stranger or closer friend or acquaintance. He kept his extracurricular business just that....business. Its like needing a drink or a joint when your wife is a y bible thumper. I appreciate this guy having the mental for ude to do the right thing and find comfort without destroying the world around him.

You women are sure quick to burn this dude at the stake. There are meds for this his wife should have gone the extra mile for the marriage.

^^I think this is basically how I've wrapped my mind around this too.

I was taken aback by it all, so I posted this to see what people thought about the whole situation, and I got the responses I expected. I can't discuss this with anyone I know, so this seemed like a good place to get opinions. Men have a little more compassion for this guy than the women do, obviously.

My friend loves his family. I know he does. I have a hard time judging him harshly. He obviously worked pretty darn hard to find an alternative to divorcing his wife. You can look at it as cowardly or admirable depending on your perspective I guess.

I do have the feeling he's about to change course, however. Confessions are usually a sign that someone is planning to change things and as I look at this I really think that's what my friend is thinking about doing. He's a very intelligent and calculating person. In business he's always known the right time to sell an investment, and I think he's thinking of making a change here...I think that's why he confided what he did to me...to guage my reaction as he charts his next move.

I'd of certainly done things differently in my relationship...at least I'm fairly certain of that. But none of us really know how we'd handle things until we're in that situation ourselves. I can't really judge him.

[2Blonde]

It kind of seems to me that he decided to fix his own situation and satisfy his own needs rather than continue to stick it out and push for ways to help his wife. Yes, I get that they went to counseling, but because it didn't resolve the way he wanted it then he just gave up. Who's to say than another counselor or sex therapy for couples or being open and honest with his wife about what he needs in order to be happy wouldn't have worked. It seems as though he never had any intention of putting his wife first by not giving up in trying to solve whatever her problem is. Did he bother urging her to go to the doctor to see if it could be a hormonal imbalance? Nope...I guess the hookers allowed him to only think of his needs.

I just think he sounds selfish.

[Slomo]

^^I think this is basically how I've wrapped my mind around this too.

I was taken aback by it all, so I posted this to see what people thought about the whole situation, and I got the responses I expected. I can't discuss this with anyone I know, so this seemed like a good place to get opinions. Men have a little more compassion for this guy than the women do, obviously.

My friend loves his family. I know he does. I have a hard time judging him harshly. He obviously worked pretty darn hard to find an alternative to divorcing his wife. You can look at it as cowardly or admirable depending on your perspective I guess.

I do have the feeling he's about to change course, however. Confessions are usually a sign that someone is planning to change things and as I look at this I really think that's what my friend is thinking about doing. He's a very intelligent and calculating person. In business he's always known the right time to sell an investment, and I think he's thinking of making a change here...I think that's why he confided what he did to me...to guage my reaction as he charts his next move.

I'd of certainly done things differently in my relationship...at least I'm fairly certain of that. But none of us really know how we'd handle things until we're in that situation ourselves. I can't really judge him.

I obviously took the whole thing more as a joke than anything else. Your subsequent posts showed that the serious part is bigger than the joke part.

I agree with your quote above. He might be getting ready to make his next move. I'm not sure whether it's conscious, but it's a sign of change.




P.S. @ the small s smack. It's seems that high class hooker are threatening to some...

[Bigzax]

mmmm....high class s.....

[SpursWoman]

P.S. @ the small s smack. It's seems that high class hooker are threatening to some...

Why would I be threatened by a hooker? She gets stuck with the ugly guys with tiny s that want to wear her underwear.


I guess "for better or worse" and "promise to honor ... " has always meant something to me ... I guess with most of you it doesn't mean jack .

[j-6]

.