Decision tree analysis for sailors in bars

[Avante]

Story time.

Being the most buffed out guy in my company in bootcamp, I was given the...Athletic PO...billet. My job was to lead in jumping jacks, push ups and rife lifts (we used our rifes*** as a weight) and pick our Olympic team (basketball/track meet) among the barracks.

Larry....ok, so who here can sprint? (I was on crutches, sprained my ankle playing basketball)
Robert Gene...(lanky black cat from Louisiana)....I ran track.
Larry...ok Robert, ah...what did ya run the 100 in?
Robert....I ran a 9.5.
Larry...(I knew track, a 9.5 is smoking, but he did look the part and nobody else said )

So the big day came and there's Robert Gene in lane 5 on a shoddy dirt track wearing tennis shoes and dungarees and a t-shirt. On your mark, set....BOOM!!!!!!! It was over after two steps, Robert was simply gone.....zooommm. He won by a solid 15 yards. The time...10.0 flat.

After the meet.

Larry....Robert, how did you do at your state meet in Louisiana?
Robert....ah shucks I was just funnin' ya, I never ran no track. But I'm fast.
Larry...no .

*** just props, we had no firing pins