Reply With Quote
this thread
She told me to give her 8 inches and to make it hurt.
So I f*cked her twice and hit her over the head with a bottle.
this thread
Last edited by TDMVPDPOY; 10-10-2008 at 07:13 AM.
i got moar
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,'My elbow hurts like heck. I guess I'd better see a doctor.'
'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies.
'There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars and it's
A lot cheaper than a doctor.'
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.'
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled..
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daug hter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2.. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3.. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5 If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
experiment2100>>>>>>>>>>>>>trainwreck2100
What does Snoop Dogg wash his clothes with?
BLEEEEAAACCHH!
What's the difference between a savings bond and a musician?
One will mature and make money!!!
Teacher: "Class, to get to know our new President, please go home and make a sentence with your parents using the pronoun 'Obama'"
---next school day---
Teacher: "Okay Johnnie let's have your sentence you and your family worked on last night"
Johnnie: "Our new president Obama says he will give tax cuts to the poor"
Teacher: "Good Johnnie, Leroy let's have yours"
Leroy: "We should be proud as black people to have Obama as our President"
Teacher: "Good Leroy, Jorge let's have yours"
Jorge: "When I got home last night my Papa was sick, when I asked him what was worng he said, "I stopped at the store and picked up a case of Bud and drank them Obama myself""
knock knock
Who's there?
An Italian and Greek man are arguing about who was the better society. After an exchange of so many accomplishments, the last couple exchanges are as follows:
Greek: "We ruled the known world at one time."
Italian: "Yes, but we took that away from you."
Greek: "But we invented sex."
Italian: "True, but we introduced it to women!"
We've just learned that the Obama Administration will be honoring the 43rd President of the US by naming the boundary between tectonic plates beneath Haiti after him.
The line will now officially be referred to as "Bush's Fault"
A comedian friend of mine told me this one.
Why do illegals from Mexico come over the border two by two?
They saw the sign that said " No Trespassing. "
What'sthesecretofcomedytiming
local news anchors invoking a pun to introduce a new news story
A blonde gets pulled over for speeding on the highway.
A blonde patrol officer comes up to the side of the vehicle and asks the blonde for her driver's license.
After a few minutes of rummaging around in her purse, the blonde gal says " I can't seem to find it. What does it look like"
The blonde cop says "it's small and square with your picture on it"
A few minutes later the blonde finds a small mirror, looks at it and hands it to the blonde cop.
The cop looks at it and says "oh, you're ok to go. I didn't know you were a cop".
Golf and Public Restroom Rules:
10. Keep your back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
9. Form a loose grip.
8. Keep your head down.
7. Avoid a quick backswing.
6. Stay out of the water.
5. Try not to hit anybody.
4. If you are taking too long, you should let others go ahead of you.
3. You shouldn't stand directly in front of others.
2. Be quiet while others are about to go.
1. Keep strokes to a minimum.
One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had
written the word 'penis' in tiny small letters. She turned around, scanned the
class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and
began her class.
The next day she went into the room and she saw, in larger letters, the word
'penis' again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain for the
culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day's lesson.
Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the
same word written on the board, and each day it was written in larger letters.
Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on
the board, but instead, found the words, "The more you rub it, the bigger it
gets!"
When the nurse was bathing a female patient who had been in a coma for many months, she noticed a reaction when placing a sponge between her legs. When the doctor was notified, he called the husband and asked him to report to the hospital immediately. Upon his arrival the doctor explained that the nurse had seen a reaction when her private parts were stimulated. He suggested that the husband should have oral sex with her because it might lead to improvement in her condition. After about 15 minutes the husband came out of her room and announced that she was dead!
"How did that happen?" asked the doctor.
"I think she choked to death," said the husband.
Knock, knock
Who's there?
You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil?
You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil who?
Nevermind, it's pointless.
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
