Harvey: After Deaths, Spurs Find Ways To Live

[duncan228]

After deaths, Spurs find ways to live
Buck Harvey

He'd brought a suit on the road trip, just as all the Spurs had been told to do. And now he was on the charter with the others, flying during the night from Cleveland to New Orleans.

Anthony Tolliver, on the cusp of finally earning a place on an NBA roster, likely wondered if this was normal. The Spurs really go to funerals together?

The next day Tolliver followed his teammates into a church near Jackson Square. There they attended services for Simone Newman, the wife of Spurs assistant Don Newman, and this remarkable gesture earlier this month sums up Gregg Popovich and the culture he has established.

If Tolliver didn't fully appreciate the culture then, he will soon enough. Last week he was on another plane flying to another funeral.

His mother, Donna Lewis, 56, a single mother of three and a teacher, died of an apparent heart attack.

Tolliver will miss opening night, and he will miss much more. But just as the Spurs boarded their charter to support Newman, they will be there for Tolliver.

Specifically, Ime Udoka will be there.

Udoka had been around three other NBA teams before he came to San Antonio, and he says he immediately saw the Spurs were different. “Night and day,” is how he puts it.

This isn't just about funerals, and the Spurs aren't the first to mourn together, either. When the brother of Larry Hughes, then with Cleveland, died, the Cavaliers stopped to pay respects during the 2006 playoffs.

Still, perhaps no NBA team is more plugged into the human element than the Spurs are in this era. When Michael Finley isn't throwing a Thanksgiving banquet at his house, then there are quiet evenings.

Udoka, for example, dined at the Newman house last season.

Popovich always pushed for this, from family-friendly charters to watching presidential debates with his players. He's led them on field trips, too, including one a few years ago to the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C.

Popovich wants to do the right thing, but there's strategy involved, too. His thinking: If he can get his guys out of the work place, and if they learn to be supportive, and if the young ones watch the old ones, then maybe this closeness translates to the court, too.

Again, it's sincere, and it was for Newman. The Spurs' plane arrived in New Orleans at about 1 a.m., and Popovich and some of his staff stayed up talking with Newman until 5.

Udoka embraces this sentiment, and that's because he has his own story. Two years ago, after playing around the world and being cut by several NBA teams, Udoka was trying to make the roster of his hometown Portland Trail Blazers.

The only Blazer who didn't play in the first preseason game that year, Udoka was told he would start the second. He informed his father, Vitalis, who made arrangements to attend. Hours before, Vitalis died suddenly of complications from diabetes and high blood pressure.

The date was Oct. 17. Two years later, on exactly the same date, was Simone Newman's funeral. Udoka shared this with his coach as he consoled him, as well as what came next for Udoka in 2006.

Udoka missed the preseason game he was supposed to start, but he returned for the next one. He says he was glad to have basketball to come back to.

“It was a safe haven,” he said.

It was too soon to be alone. And in a locker room, with an immediate task at hand, Udoka found a way to counter the grief.

“I wanted to use his memory as motivation,” he said. “The game freed my mind.”

The next game Udoka scored 16 points. He started the next and scored another 16. On the day of his father's funeral, he signed a contract and was officially a Blazer.

Udoka still can't believe the cruel timing. Couldn't his father have been around for just some of his success? Tolliver will ask the same questions.

Still, Udoka says he found a path. There was a way to grieve, and there was a way to play, and the two seemed to mix.

Udoka says he plans to talk about this again.

As soon as Tolliver comes back.

[Dex]

Wow. Powerful stuff from Buck.

I've already given my sentiments to Tolliver and his mother (R.I.P). As much as I love and appreciate my parents, I don't even like to acknowledge the fact that they may be gone one day. I can only imagine what kind of bittersweet agony he must be going through right now.

Fortunately, he's coming into one of the most incredible organizations in the league, and it sounds like he will have plenty of support from his new Spurs family. Especially in the case of Udoka, who sounds like he has been in the exact same situation.

Speaking of which, this article really opened my eyes on the maturity of Udoka. I know he's not a kid by any means, but it sounds like he is really blossoming in the Spurs culture. Hopefully this will be a sign of things to come. The sooner Udoka stops being a cog and starts being a gear, the better.

[tp2021]

...stops being a cog and starts being a gear...

Good .

[DPG21920]

very nice article

[Manufan909]

Buck getting deep.

[timvp]

Good article. Hopefully Tolliver and Newman will take all the time they need to grieve. Basketball can wait.

[urunobili]

very good read finally something significant and elaborated about how the team fares on this kind of situations...

[BWS-1994]

A family of professionals. One more reason to love the Spurs.

[polandprzem]

I consider it as a normal

That's why you appreciate spurs as human beings, not just guys that drible the ball and shoot the ball. Afterall basketball it's just a sport - a (one) part of life. There are bigger things going on around us.

[mrspurs]

Great find duncan228. hahaha.....Buck=waste of space

[zepn]

I've read that Tolliver was told he made the team earlier in the same day before his Mom died. I hope he was able to get a call in to her to let her know.

[SenorSpur]

The Spurs organization is truly as close to a sports family as their is pro sports.

[team-work]

Losing our loved ones is the most heart-breaking thing to have. Hope Tolliver & Newman recover well from these difficult times.

Maybe we should treasure our loved ones more.

[Tully365]

What an amazing article. Reminds me for the 1000th time why I like the Spurs so much.

[SpursFanFirst]

What an amazing article. Reminds me for the 1000th time why I like the Spurs so much.

[duncan228]

Buck=waste of space

You would know.

[CubanMustGo]

Someone want to send this article to that Sonsfan idiot who posted his "five reasons to hate the Spurs" ??

[SpursFanFirst]

You would know.

WHOA! Did D228 really just say something mean???

[Spurs Brazil]

Great article.

I'm sure the team will help Tolliver when he's back

[Mister Sinister]

You would know.

I was thinking about posting this, but I thought I'd leave it to you, since you're the OP. Also, I'm not even charging a soda for the I got.