E-mail from my 3rd grader's teacher

[I Love Me Some Me]

"I wanted to let you know that I had to talk with your child today because of how she has been treating other students. Today, a girl bent over and part of her underwear showed and your daughter proceeded to tell others about it until the girl was in tears. At the beginning of the year she had to go to the counselor because she started a club for girls who disliked a particular classmate. I asked your child why she feels like she is bettee than the other students and she didn't have an answer. I have talked with the girls in my class at length about how thet treat each other, but your daughter still seems to think she should get her way. I think she is losing friends and cannot treat others that way. Please discuss this with her because there are a lot of feelings getting hurt at school."


How would you respond?

[JoeChalupa]

I'd request a teacher conference and have a nice long talk with my daughter who should know that that kind of behavior, if true, is totally unacceptable.

[TwAnKiEs]

STFU and teach.

[JoeChalupa]

STFU and teach.

That is easy when you don't have to baby-sit as well as teach.

[ididnotnothat]

I wonder what B2B would do? Glad I don't have kids.

[desflood]

That's tough. Lots of parents have complaints about bullies, but what do you do when your kid is the mean one?

Is your girl a smart kid? If she is and the teacher is right about her losing friends, it won't take her long to figure out the equation: being mean = nobody likes you. Hopefully this will be a self-solving problem for you.

Good luck.

[TwAnKiEs]

That is easy when you don't have to baby-sit as well as teach.

lol i know.. izz wazz ay yoke


TBH, I don't think I would know how to respond... I still hhave 2- 2 1\2 years to go

[mrsmaalox]

"I wanted to let you know that I had to talk with your child today because of how she has been treating other students. Today, a girl bent over and part of her underwear showed and your daughter proceeded to tell others about it until the girl was in tears. At the beginning of the year she had to go to the counselor because she started a club for girls who disliked a particular classmate. I asked your child why she feels like she is bettee than the other students and she didn't have an answer. I have talked with the girls in my class at length about how thet treat each other, but your daughter still seems to think she should get her way. I think she is losing friends and cannot treat others that way. Please discuss this with her because there are a lot of feelings getting hurt at school."


How would you respond?

I would respond, "Thank you for informing me. I will discuss this with my daughter and will arrange for a meeting with you, the school counselor, and school administrator". And then I would have the meeting, inform them what steps you have taken with your daughter, ask for recommendations, ask for the do entation of all the incidents, and ask why the you weren't notified of this behavior "at the beginning of the year"!

[BacktoBasics]

Dear Teacher,

Thanks for letting me know whats going on. I raise my children to not just think that they are better than everyone else but to know that they are better than everyone else. We live in a day and age where the biggest losers get the biggest hand outs so if you're not feeding off the bottom you better make damn sure you're plugging away with full force to stay on top. Society has dictated that if you don't keep your peers down they'll likely cut you off at the knees to better their position in life. Nothing is righteous or sacred anymore, nothing if fair or equal especially for the very ones who work the hardest. I expect my kids to never give an inch for anyone because all that will lead to is inch after inch being demanded until you're stripped of all your integrity and net worth. I'll let my kid know that people don't get promoted in the work force when their underwear is hanging out all over the place and as a matter of fact not only do you not get the promotion you might even get slapped with a senseless "sexual harassment" lawsuit. Good to know my kids been pounding the pavement to stay a step ahead.

Thanks again!

Sincerely,

________________________

[JoeChalupa]

lol i know.. izz wazz ay yoke


TBH, I don't think I would know how to respond... I still hhave 2- 2 1\2 years to go

My youngest, who has gone through some teasing of her own, wants to be a teacher because she thinks so highly of her current teacher. I haven't to deal with any of mine being the bully and that may be because I've had long talks with them about teasing others. It ALL starts at home. But I've ranted about this before in other threads.

[JudynTX]

Does your child's name begin with M by any chance?

[BacktoBasics]

Lets not forget that the kid took the initiative to start a club too. Organized a group of youngsters with the attention span of gnats to "rally round the family". This kid has upper level management written all over her.

[desflood]

and ask why the you weren't notified of this behavior "at the beginning of the year"!

Excellent point. Aren't teachers and other school officials always complaining that parents are not involved enough in their kids' educational lives?

[desflood]

Dear Teacher,

Thanks for letting me know whats going on. I raise my children to not just think that they are better than everyone else but to know that they are better than everyone else. We live in a day and age where the biggest losers get the biggest hand outs so if you're not feeding off the bottom you better make damn sure you're plugging away with full force to stay on top. Society has dictated that if you don't keep your peers down they'll likely cut you off at the knees to better their position in life. Nothing is righteous or sacred anymore, nothing if fair or equal especially for the very ones who work the hardest. I expect my kids to never give an inch for anyone because all that will lead to is inch after inch being demanded until you're stripped of all your integrity and net worth. I'll let my kid know that people don't get promoted in the work force when their underwear is hanging out all over the place and as a matter of fact not only do you not get the promotion you might even get slapped with a senseless "sexual harassment" lawsuit. Good to know my kids been pounding the pavement to stay a step ahead.

Thanks again!

Sincerely,

________________________

Nice

[JoeChalupa]

Dear Teacher,

Thanks for letting me know whats going on. I raise my children to not just think that they are better than everyone else but to know that they are better than everyone else. We live in a day and age where the biggest losers get the biggest hand outs so if you're not feeding off the bottom you better make damn sure you're plugging away with full force to stay on top. Society has dictated that if you don't keep your peers down they'll likely cut you off at the knees to better their position in life. Nothing is righteous or sacred anymore, nothing if fair or equal especially for the very ones who work the hardest. I expect my kids to never give an inch for anyone because all that will lead to is inch after inch being demanded until you're stripped of all your integrity and net worth. I'll let my kid know that people don't get promoted in the work force when their underwear is hanging out all over the place and as a matter of fact not only do you not get the promotion you might even get slapped with a senseless "sexual harassment" lawsuit. Good to know my kids been pounding the pavement to stay a step ahead.

Thanks again!

Sincerely,

________________________

That is what I expected and I would never go that route.

I teach my kids that nobody is better than they are but that they too must show respect to others. I tell them it is a very tough world out there but you don't have to be cruel towards others to be successful. Yes it is a dog eat dog world but one can rise above it all.
Parenting is one tough job.

[mrsmaalox]

Lets not forget that the kid took the initiative to start a club too. Organized a group of youngsters with the attention span of gnats to "rally round the family". This kid has upper level management written all over her.

And demand she be promoted to "Gifted and Talented" status!!

[Bartleby]

Lets not forget that the kid took the initiative to start a club too. Organized a group of youngsters with the attention span of gnats to "rally round the family". This kid has upper level management written all over her.

I see a future cult leader.

[BacktoBasics]

Excellent point. Aren't teachers and other school officials always complaining that parents are not involved enough in their kids' educational lives?

With 20+ kids per class I don't see how a teacher can educate and police the herd effectively for the course of an entire year. Perhaps she felt like the child was going through a small phase or spell of misbehavior. Usually when kids act like they see the repercussions of deviating from the norm and the problem corrects itself. Especially young women. They act out irrationally as frequently as their adult counterparts and just when you think they've gone off the deep end they come back to reality only to allow history to repeat itself when the next "big catastrophe" happens.

[peewee's lovechild]

Dear Teacher,

Thanks for letting me know whats going on. I raise my children to not just think that they are better than everyone else but to know that they are better than everyone else. We live in a day and age where the biggest losers get the biggest hand outs so if you're not feeding off the bottom you better make damn sure you're plugging away with full force to stay on top. Society has dictated that if you don't keep your peers down they'll likely cut you off at the knees to better their position in life. Nothing is righteous or sacred anymore, nothing if fair or equal especially for the very ones who work the hardest. I expect my kids to never give an inch for anyone because all that will lead to is inch after inch being demanded until you're stripped of all your integrity and net worth. I'll let my kid know that people don't get promoted in the work force when their underwear is hanging out all over the place and as a matter of fact not only do you not get the promotion you might even get slapped with a senseless "sexual harassment" lawsuit. Good to know my kids been pounding the pavement to stay a step ahead.

Thanks again!

Sincerely,

________________________

Lets not forget that the kid took the initiative to start a club too. Organized a group of youngsters with the attention span of gnats to "rally round the family". This kid has upper level management written all over her.

[BacktoBasics]

And demand she be promoted to "Gifted and Talented" status!!

She might not be challenged enough.

[mrsmaalox]

With 20+ kids per class I don't see how a teacher can educate and police the herd effectively for the course of an entire year. Perhaps she felt like the child was going through a small phase or spell of misbehavior. Usually when kids act like they see the repercussions of deviating from the norm and the problem corrects itself. Especially young women. They act out irrationally as frequently as their adult counterparts and just when you think they've gone off the deep end they come back to reality only to allow history to repeat itself when the next "big catastrophe" happens.

But the teacher turfed the problem to the counselor. It's the counselors job to deal with this type of bs, so she must have had to write some kind of incidental behavior report, and I would think that would require parental notification.

[I Love Me Some Me]

I would respond, "Thank you for informing me. I will discuss this with my daughter and will arrange for a meeting with you, the school counselor, and school administrator". And then I would have the meeting, inform them what steps you have taken with your daughter, ask for recommendations, ask for the do entation of all the incidents, and ask why the you weren't notified of this behavior "at the beginning of the year"!

Exactly....here's what my response was. I was irritated by a couple of things the teacher said:

"I apologize for her behavior, and this is something we will address with her immediately. She is certainly not awarded any sense of en lement at home, so I'm not sure she feels that way at school. She hasn't had even remote behavioral problems in previous grade levels. Even this year, every report card and note home has not indicated this at ude and behavioral problem. If, as you say, this has been going on all year it would have been helpful to hear from you prior to this incident. Especially if you have had lengthy discussions with her and she's met with a counselor. Her mother and I MUST be made aware of these situations as they happen...not months later. I'm dissapointed that this is how I found out.

Also....I am not convinced that my daughter "feels like she is better than other students." That is a strong statement that I'd like for you to qualify.

I am not one of these parents who thinks their child can do no wrong, so please don't interpret this response that way. These problems will be addressed, and she will have to accept full responsibility for her behavior and the associated consequences. However, I don't just want to disclipline her for what she's done...I'd like to understand why she's acting out in this manner It's really contrary to what we know of her at home."

[desflood]

But the teacher turfed the problem to the counselor. It's the counselors job to deal with this type of bs, so she must have had to write some kind of incidental behavior report, and I would think that would require parental notification.

I would also, but apparently you and I expect too much of the public school system Last year when my kid was bullied, I had to notify the school, even though they were first aware of the problem.

[Richard Cranium]

Parents need to learn how to be parents and stop being friends to their kids. Sounds like a spoiled brat to me.

[Blake]

With 20+ kids per class I don't see how a teacher can educate and police the herd effectively for the course of an entire year. Perhaps she felt like the child was going through a small phase or spell of misbehavior.....

my wife spends about 75% of her time dealing with discipline and she's in a hard ass school. If only the parents of these kids had email that she could rattle off a quick email to say 'hey, can you help me out by talking to your kid'. A lot of them don't even have a working phone.

I'm guessing the average public school teacher has to deal with it at least 50% of the time, so I'd say don't take it personal, just respond with a simple
"thanks for the heads up, I will definitely talk to her. Please keep me informed about her behavior and let me know if there is anything more I can do."