Here is a transcript of one of the calls made by "Porno Man"
911: This 911 what is your emergency?
Caller: Yeah, I think something is wrong with my friend.
911: What seems to be wrong with him?
Caller: Well he isn't moving, and he feels stiff to the touch...
911: Can you tell if he's breathing?
Caller: No I can't tell, but his head looks purple...OMG... please help.....!!!
911: Now relax sir, see if you can get a pulse. Just place two fingers on any of his pressure points. Hold them there and see if you can feel his pulse.
Caller: TWO FINGERS! I've got both hands around him and I can't feel a thing!
911: Ok sir, do you know how to do CPR?
Caller: Yes, but I'm not flexible enough to do it. Please just send some relief!
911: Ok sir, please stay with me.......
Caller: Maybe you could just keep talking a little longer....
Caller: He seems to be coming around now....
911: Is he coherent?
Caller: Oh yeah...that's it...keep giving me instructions...
911: Sir? Can your friend stand up?
Caller: Mmmmmm hmmmmmm........He's up at attention now!
911: Ok sir, glad to be able to assist you. Do you still need emergency services?
Caller: No, I'm...errrr... my friends ok! Thanks! Bye!
Useruser666 :eyebrow

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