Never too early to talk Lakers: Lakers, Bryant champs again!!!
The Lakers will win the 2009-10 NBA le and Kobe Bryant will be named regular season MVP. How do we know this? The reasons abound.
Columnist Jeff Miller goes out on a limb, may have jinxed entire season.
By Jeff Miller
The Orange County Register
We just finished the opening weekend of the NFL, USC and UCLA just won their first big games of the season and Servite High's football team was just ranked No. 1 in the county.
So you know what that means, right?
Time to talk Lakers!
Why? Because it's always time to talk Lakers! Based on fan reaction, there is roughly as much interest in Pau Gasol's injured finger as there is in the entire healthy body that is the Angels.
Besides, there's never a bad time to predict that the Lakers will win another championship and Kobe Bryant again will be named MVP.
There it is, folks! Weeks before the opening of training camp and a month and a half before the first game, the news is being broken here! And with exclamation points!!!
The Orange County Register has learned that the Lakers will beat the Celtics in the 2009-10 NBA Finals and Bryant will receive the league's highest individual honor.
How do we know this? Well, we just do.
Why do we know this? Well, here's why…
* The Ron Artest acquisition/crazy gamble will work. The Lakers, unlike his previous employers, won't need Artest to score a bunch of points. For anyone who witnessed Artest's awkward parade of bricks in last year's playoffs, this is good news.
* Without the burden of scoring – seriously, at times last spring he appeared to be launching live trout at the basket – Artest will be free to do what he does best, specifically rebound, defend and be a human hemorrhoid.
* Besides all that, Artest now can concentrate even more on shaving messages into his hair and wearing his tight shorts. During some games last season, his bottoms were as snug as the white on a leist.
* Gasol's injured finger will be just fine. He's playing in the European championships and performing well, despite constant double-teams, added defensive responsibilities and the fact everyone around him – including the basketball – chain smokes.
* Lamar Odom will not allow his new main squeeze, Khloe Kardashian, to become a distraction. But we have to say, Lamar, Khloe Kardashian?! Honestly? Have you seen her trashy TV show? Howard Stern thinks she should be censored.
* Kardashian will not be to the Lakers what Jessica Simpson was to the Cowboys. Simpson dated Dallas quarterback Tony Romo until July. During the relationship, the Cowboys came closer to winning the AL Central than the Super Bowl.
* OK, we can't let this one go just yet, Lamar. Khloe Kardashian?! Dennis Rodman thinks that's wrong. Alex Rodriguez is shaking his head. Couldn't you have picked someone a little more mature, like Dora the Explorer?
* According to Artest, Bryant has been beginning his workouts at 5:30 a.m. Think the guy's a little fired up to open training camp? For one thing, once practice starts, he'll finally be able to sleep in.
OK, 5:30? A.M.? That's insane. If Bryant still was searching for his first MVP award, would he report to the gym at 4:30 a.m.? There's only one thing we would get up that early to do, and they don't hand out trophies for it.
* Andrew Bynum is having a fine offseason, by which we mean he hasn't been photographed carrying any Playboy bunnies yet. Now, Bynum with Khloe Kardashian, we'd understand. She could teach him about acting and he could teach her about going to the potty all by herself.
* Derek Fisher spent part of his offseason writing a book on character, which he is quite qualified to do. He did not, however, write about attempting to separate Luis Scola from his Luis Soul-a, which he also is qualified to do. Still, Fisher remains a steadying influence, despite his moment of WWE instability.
* Sasha Vujacic will rebound to be more effective than he was late last season and throughout the playoffs. How can we guarantee this? Because he can't be that bad again, can he? The poor guy was as invisible as gravity. As big a downer, too.
* The Shaquille O'Neal acquisition/crazy gamble won't work in Cleveland. Oh, he'll have an impact early, and there will be some highlight moments. But, ultimately, we're talking here about an old, rundown Shaq. Even Joan Rivers thinks O'Neal is carrying too much mileage.
* The Spurs will be improved, particularly with the addition of Richard Jefferson. But they won't be improved enough. And the Nuggets aren't ready to win a le, either. The Western Conference will be chasing all season, running up a mountain of Jell-O and into a stiff breeze of Phil Jackson hot air.
So there you have it, folks. Granite-solid proof of an impending Laker repeat and Bryant triumph.
And it comes just two days after a survey revealed that nearly two-thirds of Americans think the news stories they read in papers and on the Internet frequently contain errors.
Please, if that's the case, then my name is Jeff Millen.
ohh oooh ooohhh what celebrity tarts are they 'dating'???????OMG they should do a reality show on Bravo!!!!!! OMG like everyone i know would watch every episode! like when maybe one day they would go shopping, i would be like i want to see the shoes! and then during lunch at a hip bistro she could get a call, about some drama, like maybe a
oh jesus god.make it stop.
Great Read!
Milage will finally catch up to Kobe.
Ron Ron will become his usual shot chucking self.
Gangreen will form on rat face gasol finger.
Bynum not that good to begin with.
Fishers a .
Sasha is a female.
The rest of the laker not worth mentioning.
Lakers fan, this is the forcast for the upcoming season.
the lakers.
Best part of the article...besides the Lamar Odom bashing. Khloe Kardashian is not attractive.
Never too Early to say Bynum's knee will explode
Artest and the best case scenario this guy has imagined are two things that definitely won't go together.
So if the Spurs had won the le..there wouldn't be any articles like this?
Can Gasol’s European success hurt the Lakers?
by Janis Carr, ocregister.com
Pau Gasol scored 19 points on 8-of-10 shooting from the field and pulled down eight rebounds in Spain’s victory against Lithuania on Monday in the second round of the European championships.
Ole’ for Spain. Ole’ for Gasol.
Ole’ for the Lakers?
No one is denying Gasol the chance to represent his country in one of the biggest annual basketball tournaments in the world, but the wear and tear of compe ive games during the off-season could take its toll when the NBA season begins.
If Spain beats Poland in its next game, it moves onto the next round. That means more games, more minutes for the Lakers forward. Lose, and Gasol can start looking toward Lakers training camp that starts in two weeks.
Perhaps it’s all unnecessary speculation. After all, Gasol (or Kobe Bryant for that matter) didn’t show any signs of fatigue after playing in the Olympics (and qualifying rounds) last summer. But this time, Gasol got hurt, requiring surgery on his left index finger.
Is this a smart move?
Where are your gifs, i haven't seen them in a while gif master
Banzai always delivers.
As do the Lakers.
Khloe Kardashian...Lamar could've done alot better than that.
Christ man, I almost peed myself!
glad you enjoyed.
This guy clearly hasn't even looked beyond the Jefferson trade, and thinks the Spurs' core, who already have 3 rings, "aren't ready to win a le". They already have 3, . They are ready for another one.The Spurs will be improved, particularly with the addition of Richard Jefferson. But they won't be improved enough. And the Nuggets aren't ready to win a le, either. The Western Conference will be chasing all season, running up a mountain of Jell-O and into a stiff breeze of Phil Jackson hot air.
I honestly have a Lakers of 2004 feel about this team. Ron Ron was a mistake, Odom got his contract and might have a down year, Kobe is due to start slowing down (1100 games on those legs and counting) and even a 5% dropoff makes him a mere mortal, Bynum is still yet to show enough to convince me that he's ready to be what they need him to be. I think it'll be a 60-win team that gets rolled in the WCFs by the Spurs.
As for Khloe,
Concern yerself with not letting the Mavs whip the dog out of ya again.
That'll be a considerable feat for ya.
With Timmy on one leg, no Manu, and as bunch of greybeards...
We are coming for you, Fakers, and we are going to hurt you just like we did in 2003.
and were coming for you like we kicked your butt all decade. Or do you not remember the sweeps we handed you and the 5 game series wins. 18-8 vs spurs in the decade in playoffs. does that ring a bell? I like how spurs always mention 2003,lol. they live off that stuff. How about you mention getting swept in 2001. Losing in 5 games in 2002. Losing in 6 games in 2004. Losing in 5 games in 2008.With Timmy on one leg, no Manu, and as bunch of greybeards...
We are coming for you, Fakers, and we are going to hurt you just like we did in 2003.
Of course, it is never too early to talk about the Lakers.
Touche.and were coming for you like we kicked your butt all decade. Or do you not remember the sweeps we handed you and the 5 game series wins. 18-8 vs spurs in the decade in playoffs. does that ring a bell? I like how spurs always mention 2003,lol. they live off that stuff. How about you mention getting swept in 2001. Losing in 5 games in 2002. Losing in 6 games in 2004. Losing in 5 games in 2008.
And yes, I certainly do remember the extended pain of 2000-02, and the dagger of 2004 (which was bull , since you can't turn and shoot in .4sec), but then that didn't lead to a happy ending for you now, did it?
2008 was sadly predictable once that very good New Orleans team took us to 7 and Manu went down, so it hurts very little, and... let's see here... your team wasn't good enough to go all the way that year either!
You know which stat I really enjoy? 4-0, baby. NO FINALS LOSSES. We get there, we go on to win. I'll take that 4 times in a decade.
But anyway, smack talk aside, this is about NOW. An aging but still potent TD and Manu, TP in his prime, Pop, and the extremely well balanced roster that has been put together - Jefferson, McDyess, Hill, and Blair will all make a major contribution this year and even behind those guys we have another 5 very competent players - and I'm more excited about this year's team than any team since 2005. Even better, we're rebuilding on the fly whilst having a joust at a two-year contender window. Once again, I'll take that!
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