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  1. #1
    Not Koolaid_Man Homeland Security's Avatar
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    USC Trojans
    Lately at work I've been hitting my stride in a big way. My area has gone from the straggler to the leader. Rates are up, quality is up, profits are up, everything is up. They have to hire extra people to put in my empire to keep up with all the innovations I am coming up with. I singlehandedly am changing the market for our products. I am being recognized for it, believe me.

    So anyway there's this guy in a rival department who's been a thorn in my side as long as I have been here. While smart, the guy is a dumbass. Full of bluster but doesn't know how to get results. He ignored my area because until I got here there was no glory to be had, but suddenly he wanted to latch on and take credit for my successes.

    Well I was having none of it. He gets up there and starts presenting all these things his area supposedly has accomplished, and whaddya know, all my most successful initiatives are on his list. Maybe in the past he could talk his way out of it, but I have my data down. I know all the numbers. I know all the things he would need to know for him to claim the things he's claiming. So I don't let him finish -- I start tearing him apart. Challenging every line item. Where's his data? How did he decide on those objectives? And he has nothing. He tries his management-speak to weasel out of it, but I have him cornered. And I don't let up. I let the Board know that everything he's presenting is bull . He's just standing there with the deer in the leadlights look. And then I move in for the kill. I call for his job.

    And sure enough, they fired him right there in front of me.

    It was delicious. I've never hunted, but it couldn't feel as good as this. The guy was powerless before me; I humiliated him. He was putty in my hands; I bet he wet himself. I wrecked his career. I'm not sure it would feel as good if I murdered him outright.

    Just thought I'd share.

  2. #2
    Legitimate All-Star manustarting2gd's Avatar
    Location
    SA
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    701
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    San Antonio Spurs
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    Texas Longhorns
    Murderaaaaaaa!

  3. #3
    All Hail the Legatron The Reckoning's Avatar
    Location
    Australia
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    10,568
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    San Antonio Spurs
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    Texas Longhorns
    sounds like your time in the politics forum finally got to your head at work

  4. #4
    Spur-taaaa TDMVPDPOY's Avatar
    Post Count
    41,384
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    San Antonio Spurs
    wat do you sell man

  5. #5
    i hunt fenced animals clambake's Avatar
    Location
    california
    Post Count
    25,321
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    Dallas Mavericks
    hitting your stride.

  6. #6
    Straight Forward PM5K's Avatar
    Post Count
    9,160
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    If this story is true, you now belong in this group:

    Chuck Norris
    Jack Bauer
    The Dos Equis Guy

  7. #7
    The Chosen One redskinfan's Avatar
    Post Count
    859
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    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    UTSA Roadrunners
    so there is an opening at popular bakery huh?

  8. #8
    Veteran
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    1,636
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    Was he a psychiatrist at Ft. Hood?

  9. #9
    W4A1 143 43CK? Nbadan's Avatar
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    32,408
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    sounds like your time in the politics forum finally got to your head at work


    Karma baby...

  10. #10
    Ragecycling.com Vinnie_Johnson's Avatar
    Location
    Moved out of the cold to Santa Barbara
    Post Count
    13,796
    NBA Team
    Detroit Pistons
    College
    Michigan State Spartans
    Wait a second 7-11 has a Board?

  11. #11
    The Beef Squad
    Post Count
    59
    NBA Team
    Dallas Mavericks
    Lately at work I've been hitting my stride in a big way. My area has gone from the straggler to the leader. Rates are up, quality is up, profits are up, everything is up. They have to hire extra people to put in my empire to keep up with all the innovations I am coming up with. I singlehandedly am changing the market for our products. I am being recognized for it, believe me.

    So anyway there's this guy in a rival department who's been a thorn in my side as long as I have been here. While smart, the guy is a dumbass. Full of bluster but doesn't know how to get results. He ignored my area because until I got here there was no glory to be had, but suddenly he wanted to latch on and take credit for my successes.

    Well I was having none of it. He gets up there and starts presenting all these things his area supposedly has accomplished, and whaddya know, all my most successful initiatives are on his list. Maybe in the past he could talk his way out of it, but I have my data down. I know all the numbers. I know all the things he would need to know for him to claim the things he's claiming. So I don't let him finish -- I start tearing him apart. Challenging every line item. Where's his data? How did he decide on those objectives? And he has nothing. He tries his management-speak to weasel out of it, but I have him cornered. And I don't let up. I let the Board know that everything he's presenting is bull . He's just standing there with the deer in the leadlights look. And then I move in for the kill. I call for his job.

    And sure enough, they fired him right there in front of me.

    It was delicious. I've never hunted, but it couldn't feel as good as this. The guy was powerless before me; I humiliated him. He was putty in my hands; I bet he wet himself. I wrecked his career. I'm not sure it would feel as good if I murdered him outright.

    Just thought I'd share.
    personally i think u could have done better, watch entourage and do something ari does to some one else. Funniest ever! lol

  12. #12
    Live by what you Speak. DarkReign's Avatar
    Location
    Washington Twp, MI
    Post Count
    10,571
    NBA Team
    Detroit Pistons
    Wait a second 7-11 has a Board?
    If he is who he says he is, think much larger. HS is the clearly smartest person on this forum, like borderline brilliant. It goes...

    HS
    Marcus Bryant or Winehole (either or)
    Whottt

    Feel like I am forgetting someone in there.

  13. #13
    TheDrewShow is salty lefty's Avatar
    Location
    Montreal
    Post Count
    101,216
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
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    UCLA Bruins
    If he is who he says he is, think much larger. HS is the clearly smartest person on this forum, like borderline brilliant. It goes...

    HS
    Marcus Bryant or Winehole (either or)
    Whottt

    Feel like I am forgetting someone in there.
    Thanks man

  14. #14
    Forum Official Personal Life Coach BacktoBasics's Avatar
    Post Count
    11,318
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    As much as I appreciate the demise of others a real professional would have waited until the meeting was over and met with the board or his superiors in private. This way the recourse or retaliation would fall on your management not you. Deferment is always the safest bet. Plus you never really want to expose yourself unnecessarily. Could have backfired with the two of you there in disagreement. I would have opted for a more one sided approach where you control all the variables.

  15. #15
    Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Viva Las Espuelas's Avatar
    Name
    5 letters long
    Post Count
    19,497
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    so there is an opening at popular bakery huh?
    La popular?

  16. #16
    Nicely Browned katyon6th's Avatar
    Post Count
    6,478
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    San Antonio Spurs
    Personally, I think Extra Stout is a serial killer.
    Last edited by katyon6th; 11-06-2009 at 10:08 AM.

  17. #17
    Live by what you Speak. DarkReign's Avatar
    Location
    Washington Twp, MI
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    10,571
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    Detroit Pistons
    off, Canadian.

  18. #18
    Live by what you Speak. DarkReign's Avatar
    Location
    Washington Twp, MI
    Post Count
    10,571
    NBA Team
    Detroit Pistons
    Personally, I think Extra Stout is a serial killer.
    You know...it wouldnt surprise me, I guess. Especially if he has lost his religion.

  19. #19
    Live by what you Speak. DarkReign's Avatar
    Location
    Washington Twp, MI
    Post Count
    10,571
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    Detroit Pistons
    I knew I forgot someone, Chumpdumper.

    Believe it or not, if you cut through his argument style, dude knows his thoroughly.

  20. #20
    Seeking the quiet mind desflood's Avatar
    Location
    MI
    Post Count
    5,054
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    San Antonio Spurs
    Personally, I think Extra Stout is a serial killer.
    A lot of the bright ones are.

  21. #21
    TheDrewShow is salty lefty's Avatar
    Location
    Montreal
    Post Count
    101,216
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
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    UCLA Bruins
    I'm not canadian

    I'm a citizen of the world

  22. #22
    Live by what you Speak. DarkReign's Avatar
    Location
    Washington Twp, MI
    Post Count
    10,571
    NBA Team
    Detroit Pistons
    I'm not canadian

    I'm a citizen of the world
    Yeah, youre not.

  23. #23
    Not Koolaid_Man Homeland Security's Avatar
    Post Count
    1,233
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    Washington Wizards
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    USC Trojans
    As much as I appreciate the demise of others a real professional would have waited until the meeting was over and met with the board or his superiors in private. This way the recourse or retaliation would fall on your management not you. Deferment is always the safest bet. Plus you never really want to expose yourself unnecessarily. Could have backfired with the two of you there in disagreement. I would have opted for a more one sided approach where you control all the variables.
    I appreciate the advice there. This was kind of an impulse thing. While it was extremely gratifying to carry out that kind of degradation and humiliation, it's important to uphold patience and discretion as my two strategic pillars if I want to accomplish my longer-term goals.

  24. #24
    Alleged Michigander ChumpDumper's Avatar
    Location
    Austin, TX
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    154,488
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    UTSA Roadrunners
    I can't think of a more successful troll in the political forum than HS.

    Nice story in the OP. Hopefully there isn't some kind of backlash down the line.

  25. #25
    Win. Whatever it Takes Whisky Dog's Avatar
    Location
    Garland, TX
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    6,052
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    San Antonio Spurs
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    Texas Longhorns
    Sounds foolish to me. You've exposed yourself and may now be a target from multiple angles.

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