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  1. #1
    Bernoullin' niggas! BUMP's Avatar
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    http://www.theonion.com/content/news...makes_citizens

    SAN ANTONIO—Spurs center Tim Duncan took officiating into his own hands Saturday when he made a citizen's foul call on Kings guard Kevin Martin, calling the 6-foot-7-inch Martin for a reaching violation during the Spurs' 113-94 victory. "We didn't catch the illegal use of hands, but luckily Tim blew the whistle he usually wears during games," said official Joe DeRosa, who assisted Duncan in filling out the various exhaustive citizen's foul-call forms after the game. "Tim was very cooperative when identifying the offender and reporting the situation to the scorer's table. And I was impressed by his strong belief that the rules should apply to everyone, which he displayed when he called [teammate] Keith Bogans for blocking later in the game." When asked for comment, Duncan told reporters that it was his responsibility as a rule-abiding player not to sit idly by while there is "so much wrong being done on the basketball court every single day."



  2. #2
    🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 ElNono's Avatar
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    Tim Duncan Calls Out Geometric Angle Needed To Make Bank Shot



    SAN ANTONIO—Immediately after releasing a 12-foot jump shot Tuesday night, Spurs center Tim Duncan called out the angle necessary for the ball to bank off the backboard and into the basket. "Forty-six-point-seven degrees," said the airborne Duncan, also noting the ball's initial upward velocity of 14.4 meters per second after a moment of mental calculation. "Two points." According to team sources, when teammate Tony Parker failed to call out the angle of a bank shot later in the game, Duncan glared at the point guard for the entire fourth quarter.

  3. #3
    Bernoullin' niggas! BUMP's Avatar
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    Duncan glared at the point guard for the entire fourth quarter.

  4. #4
    Rubber Dinghy Rapids Bro Muser's Avatar
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    The onion is classic

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