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this troll has dedication
Haha. Telling Koolaid_Man that I'm in the "biz" was something of a mistake. Since I did so, he's been begging me non-stop to read his screenplay with the hope that I might produce it. I told him that I would post the opening scene on here and if the feedback is favorable I'll let him get my coffee and leave open a .0000000001% chance that I'll produce it. He agreed.
So without further adieu:
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
Kobe bryant posters hang all over the wall...there's a bed...computer...and other stuff strewn around.
Koolaid_Man...early 30s...six pack...white water rafting expert...lady killer...sits on his bed...one moment later...there is a knock at the door.
Lakaluva...40s...enters...he's a middle eastern man...and Koolaid Man's best friend.
KOOLAID: Glad you came over homey...my cuzin been looking for a co-star in one of his upcoming porn flicks called...Chocolate & Caramel.
LUVA: I'm in playa. I'm gonna be playing Chocolate then?
KOOLAID: Nah ...I'm playing chocolate...you caramel.
LUVA: But how can I play a role like that...my skin is black not caramel.
KOOLAID: U ain't black homey...you pakistani.
LUVA: Bull .
KOOLAID: Homey step over here and look at yourself.
Luva steps in front of a mirror.
KOOLAID: U see?
LUVA: Guess u right...damn.
KOOLAID: It's good u came to that realization...there's no one else on earth that I'd want to play caramel.
LUVA: And I wouldn't want anyone else playing caramel either...so we gonna be using jimmy hats?
KOOLAID: Nah...skin on skin...just the way you like it.
Luva closes his eyes...retreats into a brief fantasy.
LUVA: Hmmmm.
END SCENE.
There you have it. The premise of Kool's story is that he and Luva are gay porn stars by day and crime fighters by night, who call themselves "Chocolate & Caramel." He pitched it to me as a Buddy/Superhero film with a progressive edge, considering the two leads are gay pornstars.
Thoughts?
this troll has dedication
Somebody seriously needs a life.
...That doesn't end with Artest usin' the crown of Pierce's noggin as a rifle sight.
...
Luva wasn't revealed to be Asian in 2010
So one of his lines should've beeen
我想他妈的科比的
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