Reply With Quote
It's funny cause it's true.
The Joys of Marriage
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and
be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
At a tail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband
Wanted" Next day she received a hundred letters. They
all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better
revenge than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she
is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't
know, son, I'm still paying."
A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some
parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he
marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in every
country, son."
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what
real happiness was until I got married, and by then,
it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict
attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all.
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy
remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."
It's funny cause it's true.
I thought my wife was smiling because she loved me when she was walking down the aisle....only to find out if was because she had given head for the last time.
A husband came home to find his wife packing a suitcase. "Where are you going?" She replies "I'm moving to Las Vegas."
"Why?"
"I heard that pros utes there get $400 for what I give you free of charge."
She goes to call a cab and then comes back to pick up her suitcase, and sees that her husband is packing his own suitcase. "What are you doing?"
"I'm moving to Vegas too."
"Why?"
"I want to see how you live on $800 a year."
Well, I'll bite and be the sap that says marriage can be wonderful and a lot of fun and quite fulfilling. Oh, sure, I still have premenstrual moments when I'd like to put an icepick through my husband's eye, but for the most part, we're very happy.
Well, I'll bite and be the sap that says marriage can be wonderful and a lot of fun and quite fulfilling. Oh, sure, I still have premenstrual moments when I'd like to put an icepick through my husband's eye, but for the most part, we're very happy.
I've been perfectly happy in my marriage too. In fact I can say there is noone on earth who I tlk with more or whose company i enjoy more than my husbands.
But I LOVE these kinds of jokes.... I don't think one is indicitive of the other.
Just like I'm a chick, and a pretty independant one at that.. but I LOVE to tell stupid nasty jokes like this one:
Why do women have legs?
so they don't leave snail marks everywhere they go.
Marriage is awesome.
But the jokes are still funny.
Marriage is even better the second, and third, and forth....
Sincerely,
Elizabeth Taylor
Translation:
So damn true!!!!!!!!!!1111111111
X 234231231231
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Me?
I didn't get any of the jokes. Weren't funny.
My wife laughed at all the jokes, when I read them to her.
That's how good marriage can be
Smooooooth!Me?
I didn't get any of the jokes. Weren't funny.
congrats.
Marriage rocks!!!
I'll send flowers to your funeral.
Worst thread ever.
If you marry the right person, the sex actually gets better.
It just happens less often which makes it feel better.
I can't imageine a marriage where you have sex twice a year. WTF is that? On Christmas and July the 4th only?
If you can imagine it, it can happen.
When you first get married you'll have "House" sex which means you'll be hitting it all over the house.
Then comes "Room" sex when you only do it in the bedroom.
The comes "Hallway" sex when all you do is say " You" to each other as you walk by.
OMG! thast a funny one!!!
but 6 years into this thing and I'm still having the "house" brand.
You've must have blown the dust off of that joke.
The cheese factor is high.
Rumor has it not everyone has heard it before as is evident from Obiiwan's response. Laugh and let laugh.
Congrats!
Marriage is great. Going on 16 years.
Twice a year would be nice. I used to get it on my birthday and Christmas, but I don't even get that anymore.
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
