The Media's Guide To The Debates

[Bandit2981]

KERRY
If he's serious - they'll say he's glum, gloomy, pessimistic, and uninspiring.
If he's jovial - they'll say he's phony and trying too hard.

BUSH
If he's serious - he's presidential, the war-time commander in chief.
If he's jovial- everybody wants to have a beer with him.

KERRY
If he's forceful - they'll say he's too aggressive, mean, negative, desperate.
If he's calm - they'll say he's weak, unsteady, dull, lacks energy.

BUSH
If he's forceful - they'll say he's strong, resolute, unwavering.
If he's calm - they'll say he's prepared, on-message, disciplined, reserved.

KERRY
If he's specific - they'll say he's wonkish, presenting "laundry lists," being overly-intellectual, show-offy, and nobody likes the smart kid.
If he's not specific - they'll say he's vague, criticizing but not offering solutions, not addressing the issues, and nobody knows who he is.

BUSH
If he's specific - they'll say he "lays out his plan" and "makes his case."
If he's not specific - they'll say he's spanning the issues, giving a global presentation, painting a broad outline of his plans.

KERRY
If he jokes - they'll say he lacks gravitas, trivializes important issues, doesn't understand troops are in harm's way, nation's at war, disrespects the president, etc.
If he doesn't joke - they'll say he needs to lighten up, he's too stoney, he's wooden.

BUSH
If he jokes - they'll say he's a man of the people, a regular guy, people relate to him.
If he doesn't joke - they'll say he truly cares about the American people and his sincerity resonates with voters in this difficult time.

Plus, if Bush finds his podium and doesn't trip on his way to it, he's surpassed all expectations. (Extra points for correct pronunciation of "Abu Ghraib" or "nuclear.")

Any Questions?? :p

[SpursWoman]

That's about right.

[Joe Chalupa]

I'll be watching.

Dubya just needs to stay on script and he'll win.

Kerry is the one who must deliver.

[Yonivore]

I love the President's comment today...

"He [Kerry] could probably spend 90 minutes debating himself."