How not to be a "House Negro" Lakers fan!

[21_Dickings]

Since I'm the Laker nation leader on this board, I'm going to give you Lakers fans who've been blurring the line between House Negro* and Laker nation representer a few key tips on how to get your ass off the fence and start flying that beautiful Purple and Gold flag like the badass 16 time champ you are.

*(I refuse to say the N-word, because I'm from Los Angeles, and we're a bunch of politically correct liberal gots (oops!) who don't use such words because we are that more refined than you racist sacks of lard who live in Texasss and the South).

1. Frontrun, frontrun, frontrun. I can't emphasize this enough. Since us hardcore Lakers fans can't talk if our stupid little worthless lives depended on it, we need the advantage of holding the le to be effective. This way when a Mav or Spurfan owns the out of you in a debate or blasts you with some smack, you can simply default to "Kiss the rings, baby!" In the event we don't have the most current O'Brien locked up in that El Segundo hole, pretend the Internet doesn't exist and don't post. A good example to follow is the years from 05 to 07. House Negro Lakers fans are always looking to talk basketball and act all civilized, but your real duty as a Lakers fan is to brandish them 16 rings like a mother er.
   
   
2. Live vicariously through the success of the Lakers. It's true that most of us hardcore Lakers fans will never experience the joy of legal citizenship, so the next best thing to do is lord those 16 rings over Spurs fans and Mavs fans, whose fanbase largely consist of productive Mexican-Americans and Rednecks. Show them who's boss and shove Laker greatness down their fat throats at every conceivable opportunity. Sure, they may be able to vote and apply for social security, and enjoy other benefits of being a US citizen, but you got, count 'em, 16 rings, and I'd rather get chased down in Arizona by a Minuteman than have zero rings.
   
   
3. Don't be ashamed of your sexuality. A good example to follow here is the triumvirate of Giuseppe, Lakaluva, and Koolaid_Man. Every thread they enter together becomes a virtual 3-way, which I'm sure they've done in real life with each other. Follow their lead and make sure to get your daily fill of , even if that means taking a trip to West Hollywood or Maryvale, Arizona.
   
   
4. Don't post in other sports forums, unless you bandwagon the winning teams in that respective sport. Do you ever see playas like Luva, Kool, History2b, or Giuseppe post in the MLB or NFL forums? no. They're smart enough to know that their teams blow ass in those sports, and since they can't frontrun or talk effectively, they will be decimated if pay those forums a visit. I'm a bandwagoner who loves the Giants and Packers, so I'm free to do so, but there are some So Cal sports fans who choose to stay aboard the ty ships of the Raiders, Rams, Chargers, Dodgers, and Angels, and to enter foreign territory without the current le in hand is just plain foolish.
   
   
5. Welch on bets and support welchers. The great Cobbler, a true Laker playa who knows the frontrunning game like a pro (you ever see him wheel his ass into the other forums?), was all bent out of shape about some troll welching on him. Then in true Laker playa fashion, he found every excuse in the book to support a Laker brother and plausibly deny said Laker brotha ever welched. To this day, as huge middle finger to Spurfan everywhere, Cobbler still has that Laker brotha on his friend's list, despite the fact that he says he doesn't support welchers. This kind of hypocrisy is what makes us Laker playas so in', well, playa.

These are just some guidelines, and by no means a definitive list. There's a lot that goes into graduating from House Negro Laker fan to a real, bonified, chicken , got, ed Laker playa, but nonetheless, I hope these will prove to be helpful.

[Koolaid_Man]

I'm like so bigger than you....lol

[TheLakaluvaLibrary]

I like this. If you can take this idea and grow it into a full manuscript, send it my way.

Regards,

The Lakaluva Library