I Couldn't Make This Up

[DMC]

Friend of mine calls me today, says his ass is hurting. I make the customary joke and he proceeds to tell me how he had some pizza last night, and while he was doing his landscaping business today (fancy name for mowing yards), he attempted a fart but sharted instead. Now he's out in the sun in a very rich area, just enough in his ass to cause a mild drip. So he's looking around and no one is home, all these houses are like vacation homes. He cannot wipe his ass, there are cameras everywhere. So he does his work for a few hours with this cake in his flesh wallet, and when he finally gets home, his wife has to put baby rash medication on him. He's unable to walk it hurts so bad (raw).

I laughed my ass off for quite a while. Who wouldn't stop and go get that taken care of? He wasn't telling me that to be funny. He actually expected me to sympathize. I was like "dude, you yourself and wallowed in it all day?" he was like "there aint no goddamn stores or gas stations anywhere around there and I had a crew out there working, and I just wanted to get it done"

He's going to hear about it for a while. No way I would tell anyone if that was me.

[Tinystarz]

seriously

[symple19]

Friend of mine calls me today, says his ass is hurting. I make the customary joke and he proceeds to tell me how he had some pizza last night, and while he was doing his landscaping business today (fancy name for mowing yards), he attempted a fart but sharted instead. Now he's out in the sun in a very rich area, just enough in his ass to cause a mild drip. So he's looking around and no one is home, all these houses are like vacation homes. He cannot wipe his ass, there are cameras everywhere. So he does his work for a few hours with this cake in his flesh wallet, and when he finally gets home, his wife has to put baby rash medication on him. He's unable to walk it hurts so bad (raw).

I laughed my ass off for quite a while. Who wouldn't stop and go get that taken care of? He wasn't telling me that to be funny. He actually expected me to sympathize. I was like "dude, you yourself and wallowed in it all day?" he was like "there aint no goddamn stores or gas stations anywhere around there and I had a crew out there working, and I just wanted to get it done"

He's going to hear about it for a while. No way I would tell anyone if that was me.

So basically you're saying that you cut grass for a living and shart your pants. Got it

[Muser]

So basically you're saying that you cut grass for a living and shart your pants. Got it

[CubanSucks]