Cracked.com - 7 Most Condescending Sports Euphemisms

[rd2277]

Was reading some things on cracked.com to pass the time at work & found this small Tim Duncan mention posted on #5. Thought I'd share for the forums enjoyment & entertainment. Figured this would be fine in the "Spurs" section of the forum.

(note: Site is perfectly SFW but if bad language is offensive to you, you may not want to read ANYTHING you find here, haha)

http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-mo...a_user4=moreon

Also just realized this is my first ever post on this forum. So "welcome to the forum" to me

[Chris]

Got a few laughs off this lol
Refreshing to get a woman's perspective on sports dominated by men.

[dallasmaverickslose]

[tp2021]

Wow, you are so funny, its even funnier in spanish.

[vander]

laughed at the Blake Griffin thing, that caught me off guard.

funny that the lead players on my two teams, Chargers and Spurs, showed up on opposite sides of #5. 8 years in and I'm still not quite sure what to think of PR...

[Cry Havoc]

Okay, let's see here:

#7. Shaq was definitely a "banger" and is considered one of the greatest Cs of all-time. He's also a journeyman. Gary Payton was moved to 5 different teams and is one of the greatest PGs ever.

#6. The sparkplug/short white guy moniker is off-base. Neal was a sparkplug for us off the bench this year, Manu obviously one of the biggest sparkplugs in NBA history, isn't exactly a small player. Typically it is referred to as a shorter player because they're, you know, faster. But Malik Rose was an engine for us off the bench in past le runs for us as well. Men like Dwight Howard who have a lot of energy are referred to as "freaks".

#5. Really? All compe ors are assholes? Tim Duncan has been called one of the ultimate compe ors because he lets his game do the talking. They even list him in the article and he's frequently thought of as one of the best sportsmen in NBA history! Wtf?

#4. Uh, yeah. Usually players that are physical (i.e., bodying people up and laying wood) are going to eventually foul someone a little too hard, or get into a fight because the other player doesn't appreciate how hard they're getting hit. Kind of obvious.

#3. Uh, no. There are plenty of teams in the past that weren't in rebuilding phases and completely sucked. The Knicks for the past ~10 seasons were horrible AND had an extremely high salary, meaning they were locked up and going nowhere. Sometimes rebuilding means exactly that, they're loaded with youth and trying to gain experience to ascend to the next level, i.e., Chicago and OKC the past few years. It's probably an overused term, though, teams that continually sell off their best players (the Clippers) shouldn't ever be referred to as rebuilding, because they never had something to build on in the first place.

#2. This has been commented and beaten to death before. Yes, white guys are seen as more intelligent and black guys are perceived as more athletic. That's basically lifted from every other article about race published in the past 15 years.

#1. Obviously not as serious here, but I've never heard of anyone with a ripped anything being referred to as "dinged up". Usually I hear they're "really really hurt and probably done for the year/sad news/player out with a serious injury" type stuff when something is torn. Concussions are labeled as "rattled" because last I checked announcers don't have access to medical crew/equipment in the booth, so when a player goes back out on the field they don't know if he got his wind knocked out or needed a new trachea until they word from one of their reporters or hear the team make an announcement. If they said, "Looks like player X has a concussion" and it turned out that he just needed a drink of Gatorade and 2 plays off, that would be pretty damned unprofessional.

[Buddy Holly]

This was definitely written by a woman.

Seventh round pick?

[DMC]

Most of those euphemisms don't mean what she says they mean.

It reminds me of a this show my wife was watching, some woman who hooks rich guys up on dates. So the woman was sitting with this young guy's mom and says "so your sons likes small women, spinners" and the mom didn't know what a spinner was, and the dating girl didn't either obviously else she wouldn't have said it.