Top 10 Dan Rather Folksy Texas Sayings About What Went Wrong

[SpursWoman]

I stole this and now I can't find the link....but it's funny anyway....


10. We were all hornswaggled worse than a blind dog sniffing at the ass of a decoy duck

9. Our fact-checking was looser than a three-toothed Galveston during Fleet Week when the rent's due

8. We got played worse than the only fiddle at an Houston hootenanny

7. We're dumber than a sack of hammers -- re -hammers, that is

6. The story was rushed more than a Arkansas groom with bun in the oven and a shotgun to his crotch

5. Bill Burkett duped us harder than a carny-barker shilling for a game of "Stump the Chicken"

4. We got deeper into this mess than 's own septic-tank cleaner

3. We bent over for Ben Barnes harder than a new-fish at the Gainsboro Maximum Security Penitentiary Cotillion & Debutante Ball

2. I'm more in the tank for John Kerry than a Chicsaw County grifter with an eight-foot siphon

...and the Number One Dan Rather "Folksy Texas Saying" for What Went Wrong...

1. What do you want me to say? We all lean harder to the left than Michael Moore during a starboard-blowing squall, while simultaneously trying to balance in order to consume his own right foot

[Yonivore]

My personal favorite

"5. Bill Burkett duped us harder than a carny-barker shilling for a game of "Stump the Chicken"