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Girl: But But But...I'm pretty now
Didn't see this posted already.
A reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
le: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
... I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here.
I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
*************************************
A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps.
signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO
Girl: But But But...I'm pretty now
Wouldn't say destroyed but she got put in her place.
I really hope that reply wasn't from the CEO because it has HORRIBLE grammar.
I advice you to shut up.
LOL CEO from JP Morgan!! Hmmm I wonder how he made himself to become a rich person?
500k? CEO of JP s 500k a week
That's why he prefer to "lease" as opposed to buying...
Yes. Apparantely he can't remember his own name and has to refer to himself as CEO of JP Morgan.
You sir are a poor investment.
Saw this a couple years ago. Pretty sure it's not the CEO of anything. It's been attributed to multiple people.
Absolutely hilarious though.
Yeah, it's from 2007 and no way to prove it was genuine back then.
That could be syphilis.
yeah get a real job like me manipulating wall st on the backs of the nation's 401k investments you stupid
2011 Annual salary was over $16 million if I remember correctly...
JPMC made a $21.5 Billion profit last year on the backs of their customers paying into one of the largest ever fee increases ins uted by a bank.
Pretty cool. First time I read that.
$1 million is middle class in NYDid not know that either.
go swallow somewhere else
"A-hah, z be brown-nosing these hoes and .
Takin es out to eat, and spendin money on these hoes, knowhatI'msayin?
I treat a like 7-Up I never have I never well
I tell a like this
, you without me is like Harry Melvin without Bluenotes
You'll never go platinum"
-Snoop Dogg
But alas, your brain keeps getting smaller, and the trade-off isn't worth it.
Both sound like Asians tbh.
Excellent. Men with big penises and tiny brains are to be pitied and despised.
^
lol irony
But what if you can't even afford to pay for your own double cheeseburger with extra cheese and chili cheese fries with a diet coke but she can buy it for you.
^
lol irony
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