At first glance, you may think that Greg Oden is pushing 50, yet the kid is barely 20 years old. Why? I'll tell you why.
Greg Oden is a CLONE experiencing accelerated aging due to the unoptimized cloning process employed to create him.
During the 1990s, a secret organization closely related to the CIA clandestinely began work on a new project known as Les Enfants Rois (The Kings' Children....my french isn't good at all). Anyways, a young speciman at the time was chosen to be cloned by the CIA to create the perfect basketball player, a genetic freak of nature if you will. Lebron James, a young boy at the time, was the child chosen for cloning processes. At the time, no one knew about the secret plan, not even Lebron's parents. The project was kept behind closed doors mainly due to fear from international backlash as well as criticisms within our own borders. The entire project could have been compromised had anyone besides the agency, codenamed, "Elitehound," know about it.
Scientists extracted the DNA from young Lebron and employed the most advanced cloning technique known at the time. The project spawned 6 children, 3 of which died in early infancy. However, the other three that survived were fed and the predominant view throughout the agency was that Les Enfants Rois was a success.
On January 22, 1988, Solid James was born. His official government name spawned from one of the directors in charge of the project, Sir Greggory Wayne Oden. At a very early age, he was exposed to basketball and was shown basketball highlights of all the great players at the time, including Michael Jordan and Clyde Drexler. He quickly excelled at basketball and eventually attended Ohio State. In 2007, he was drafted to the Portland Trailblazers.
Anyone who has played Metal Gear Solid knows what I'm talking about.
Greg Oden looks so old because he is experiencing accelerated aging resulting from the fact that he is a clone. He will have a short career in the NBA and a short life.
PS, the government agency, "Elitehound" has since disbanded. However, the CIA already has founded an expanded, more thorough project to create even greater clones without the flaws in the process. Who knows when we will have our next Michael Jordan. Only the CIA knows.
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